Yom Kippur
Sep. 17th, 2002 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cellio
In the morning I felt physically fine, better than I
expected to. I felt like all the water I had drunk
at T minus 5 minutes was paying off. Alas, the feeling
did not last.
Morning service: the sermon was fantastic. I hope he publishes it on the web site. He talked about ethics and integrity in a way that really worked for me. (The only other comment I've heard thus far was negative, so you can't please everyone.) He even gave "homework": he publishes the "eilu devarim" bit from the Talmud (also part of the shacharit liturgy) in the service handout and told people to take it home and study it. Oh, and to choose three things from the list of mitzvot that you can never do enough of and work on them between now and next Yom Kippur.
I had a seat on the bimah for the morning service. Lots of people did, so chairs were in places that don't usually get chairs. I couldn't see the ark from mine (because of the curve of the room). Oops. Hearing wasn't a problem, though. Our set of seats was shorted a book, which caused problems for a few minutes until someone figured out where to get another one quietly. (Walking down off the bimah and asking someone in the first row for a book seemed tacky, though I briefly considered it.)
There is a part of the Yom Kippur liturgy where you
basically say "I forgive those who have wronged me;
let no one be judged harsely on my account". (It
then goes on to say something like "just as I forgive
them, may they forgive me...".) I've always had trouble
with unrequested forgiveness. I'm also not ready to
say that I would always grant it if asked.
I mean, if, chas v'shalom, someone were to murder
a family member in cold blood, I don't think I could
forgive him no matter how nicely he asked unless I
saw real evidence of repentance. But this year
I came a stop closer to accepting this part of the
liturgy, by realizing that at the very least I could
grant forgiveness to any Jew who might have wronged
me and who was saying these same words (i.e. was taking
the Day of Atonement seriously).
The haftarah reading for the Yom Kippur mincha (afternoon)
service is the book of Jonah. I just don't get this story.
Ok, the plain meaning is mostly straightforward: (1) don't
run away from God when he tells you to do something and
(2) repentance is possible. But deeper meanings, and any
reasonable explanation of the part at the end with the gourd,
elude me.
The Reform machzor fills the afternoon service with all sorts of readings that aren't traditional. A lot of them dwelled on the martyrs of our people, including those who died in the Shoah (Holocaust). At times I wondered if I had time-warped to a Yom Ha-Shoah service. I remember this from past years, of course, and was even one of the readers last year, but I still don't care for it. It also makes me wonder what the content of a more traditional YK mincha service is.
After mincha was a study session for adults (and something for families with younger kids). The guy who frequently dominates Shabbat-morning Torah study with long-winded, frequently-off-topic (or missing-the-point) stories was there and in his usual form, alas, but the session was otherwise interesting. My brain was getting fuzzy by then, though, so no details here.
After that was Yizkor (memorial service). I was pretty tired by then, and apparently fell asleep during what I suspect was a pretty good sermon. Oops. Yizkor always makes me feel a little strange, because I'm never sure if I should be mourning non-Jewish relatives in a Jewish way. (My compromise is that I do so for those who have died in the last several years, but not the ones whose deaths predate my Judaism.) Then it was on to Ne'ilah, the concluding prayers, which didn't move me quite as much this year as last but were still effective. And then a slow walk home and a half-hour wait for sunset.
This was not a good year, fast-wise. I'm not sure what
was different. All the preparation was ok as far as I
could tell (I ate and drank the right things at the right
times), but I was much more parched and light-headed late
in the day than I should have been. And then I made matters
worse by taking some ibuprofin to kill a nasty headache
around hour 20 of the fast. It diminished but did not
dispel the headache, and it made me queasy. Realization
after the fact: Ibuprofin isn't supposed to be taken on
an empty stomach. Oops.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-17 12:49 pm (UTC)Can you forgive/accept forgiveness from Gentiles who speak these words with the same intensity of belief as a Jew?
More of an interesting theological point to me than anything else.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-17 01:35 pm (UTC)If a gentile asks me for forgiveness, I can certainly give it (and ought to unless there is a really really good reason not to). If a Jew asks me for forgiveness I am, technically, required to give it (though it does have to appear to be a sincere request). If I have (knowingly) wronged someone else, whether Jew or gentile, I'm required to ask forgiveness. I guess this blanket forgiveness is meant to cover the cases where the wrong is not known.
I've never really thought about how my forgiving a Christian interacts with that Christian's position with (his) God. I know that some forms of Christianity do not require that you even ask the person you wronged for forgiveness; contrition and confession are sufficient. So I don't know how to answer this, I guess.
I guess if two people make this type of declaration then it's reasonable to assume that each has forgiven the other for unknown wrongs, even if they are of different faiths. That's just me, though; I don't know of any teachings on the matter off hand.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-17 03:38 pm (UTC)So, you now have at least my permission to look funny at anyone who claims to be Christian but says seeking forgiveness from other people is not necessary... unless I'm completely wrong, of course. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-17 07:59 pm (UTC)Under "Do not murder" I find: "Have you refused to apologize to those whom you have unjustly wounded...or make other acts of reparation to them?"
That's interesting. Did you know that the Talmud likens slander to murder?
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-18 06:19 am (UTC)Everyone gets my permission to look *really* funny at anyone who calls themselves Christians and says that they don't have to seek forgiveness from those they have wronged.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-18 06:25 am (UTC)What about things that you did to hurt people that you aren't entirely aware of (the sin of thoughtlessness)? Is there forgiveness given if you ask G-d to grant you forgiveness for the little things that you may have done to unintentionally hurt someone?
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-18 03:23 pm (UTC)Good point. I'm not sure what the "official" answer is; I believe that if you really don't/can't know then you can be forgiven anyway, just as you an if you know you wronged someone but you don't know whom (e.g. you said something nasty to some stranger on a bus and you haven't seen him since).
I also believe that a possible outcome of praying for forgiveness in this case is a new awareness of past transgressions, at which point I would want to go make things right with that person. (Something like that happened to me a few years ago; maybe I'll write about it separately.) You can interpret this as an increased awareness in general that reminds you of something, or you can attribute it to a divine nudge. Either way, now that you know about it, you go fix it if you can.
Mincha, etc
Date: 2002-09-17 01:08 pm (UTC)I always find mincha and neilah (um, concluding service?) to be sort of cojoined twins: technically they're separate services, but between the two of them, they share a lot of the mincha characteristics. Mincha gets the (Shabbat-regular) Torah reading, while neilah gets ashrei (from Psalms) and u-va l'tzion, the prayer after that, though they have separate amidahs (individual prayers, said standing).
The mincha amida we do is a fairly concise, not-so-many piyutim (poems) added into the repetition, mostly themed around the Patriarchs and their great qualities. When you mentioned the victims of the Shoah, I thought more of the text of the musaf (additional service; versions said on holidays, shabbat) amidah, which reenacts the service of the cohen gadol (high priest), then includes a section about the 10 martyrs (in Roman times).
Oh, and I've never heard of a neilah service ending before the fast does. I think I wouldn't do well with that (I can imagine restless waiting, waiting, waiting).
Re: Mincha, etc
Date: 2002-09-17 01:45 pm (UTC)I suspect, but do not know, that it is a ploy to get people there for Ne'ilah. If it were right after shacharit, I suspect a lot of people would then leave and not return. A lot of people leave after shacharit as it is now, but they come back for Yizkor. (Others of us stay all day and so don't much care about the order of things within reason.)
Mincha gets the (Shabbat-regular) Torah reading
Hmm. I find that I now cannot say with certainty what we read yesterday afternoon (as opposed to yesterday morning, as opposed to Shabbat). I don't think it was the regular Shabbat reading, though. I will have to consult the machzor I have at home and report back.
When you mentioned the victims of the Shoah, I thought more of the text of the musaf (additional service; versions said on holidays, shabbat) amidah, which reenacts the service of the cohen gadol (high priest), then includes a section about the 10 martyrs (in Roman times).
I wonder if the Reform movement, which doesn't do musaf, decided to integrate that aspect of YK musaf into its mincha service? (We did have stuff on the ten martyrs, too.)
Oh, and I've never heard of a neilah service ending before the fast does. I think I wouldn't do well with that (I can imagine restless waiting, waiting, waiting).
Yeah, it seems odd to me too, though if the congregation isn't prepared to provide food with which to break the fast (that would be a logistical challenge in a large congregation), I'm not too upset. If ne'ilah wasn't until the end of the fast and I then had to wait another 20 minutes while I walked home, I'd probably be pretty unhappy. And it seems wrong to carry food to services for the purpose of eating it afterwards. (Actually, isn't that a violation of halacha even if there is an eruv? You're not carrying something for the sake of the holiday, after all...)
Re: Mincha, etc
Date: 2002-09-17 01:54 pm (UTC)I put that poorly: what I meant was that mincha gets Torah reading, which only happens otherwise on Shabbat. The actual text read is not a usual one for Shabbat mincha (which is the first aliyah from the next week broken into thirds). Instead, it is a reading about forbidden sexual relations. I have a problem with this one, because, due to the grammar and other implications of the text, it is only addressing males. Don't know why it bothers me so much more on Yom Kippur, but it does.
Food after the fast
I bring a bunch of stuff to shul before Kol Nidre (the beginning service), including my machzor (special prayer book; I don't care for the one my shul uses), stuff for napping during the break, and a bottle of water for after. This year I brought some stuff back and forth, too. I think that the water could be viewed as something with a use on Yom Kippur, actually: I could use it to wash my hands if needed, or to quench the thirst of a child or nursing/pregnant woman (or someone else who doesn't fast). Though I agree it feels weird to carry food on yom tov for after.
My shul puts out apple juice and some low-key lightly sweet stuff (usually marble cake, this year tea biscuits) right after ma'ariv (evening service), so people can fortify themselves before heading home. I usually find that the water I bring is sufficient for me. And, strangely, the years I haven't had even that, the energy at the end of neilah has carried me through until I could eat (there was one year it was over an hour before I got to the breakfast, and I was busy chatting with people even then rather than eating. Somehow, being able to eat makes it easier for me).
t
Re: Mincha, etc
Date: 2002-09-17 02:24 pm (UTC)Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification.
We didn't read the traditional reading for either Torah service yesterday, then. I know we substituted the holines code (Lev 19) for the traditional morning reading about sacrifices. I don't remember what we read in the afternoon, which is sad given that it was only about 27 hours ago... sigh. It was something we've read recently on Shabbat; I'll have to look it up. (We followed the Reform machzor on this.)
My shul puts out apple juice and some low-key lightly sweet stuff
Ours doesn't have a place to set it out. Our social hall is full of chairs for people attending services. I suppose they could put some tables out in front of the building, but that might encourage people to linger and block the doors.
We are a large congregation -- 850+ families, which I think is about 1800-2000 people for the high holy days. The back wall of our sanctuary (which leads to a lobby) and the back wall of that lobby (which leads to the social hall) can be removed (it takes a day). So all of that space becomes one big room for HHD services, with folding chairs filling up the lobby and social hall. It's the only way we can fit everyone in for Yom Kippur day. (For everything else we've gone to double services, early/late.)
Yes, I know what that says about attendance at times other than the high holy days.... Every synagogue in town has higher attendance for the high holy days than at any other time, but the differences are not always quite as pronounced in more traditional congregations (maybe only doubling, as opposed to going up by a factor of 6 or 7). Or so I'm told; I've never gone anywhere but my own congregation for Yom Kippur. (I went elsewhere for second-day Rosh Hashana once and attendane was lower than what they said they got for the first day, but higher than what I've seen for Shabbat there.)
Um...
Date: 2002-09-17 02:29 pm (UTC)YK logistics
Date: 2002-09-17 03:19 pm (UTC)If you have an assigned seat, can you leave stuff there overnight? I suppose it's moot with services ending early (do you sound the shofar at the end of neilah?), but if it ran until the end of YK, you could bring snacks before the day started.
Every shul has larger attendance at the high holy days; I don't think I've heard of a shul that doesn't. There are some people who find only those services moving, I suppose, or feel some obligation they don't the rest of the year.
Re: YK logistics
Date: 2002-09-17 08:06 pm (UTC)I suppose I could try to leave stuff in the coat room. So long as most people weren't trying to do that, it'd probably work. But, as you said, this is really only relevant if services run through the end of the fast, and ours generally don't.
Yes, we blow the shofar at the end of neilah, even though it's not yet dark.
end of Neilah
Date: 2002-09-18 04:21 am (UTC)Re: Mincha, etc
Date: 2002-09-17 02:06 pm (UTC)It wasn't. It was (at least in my shul) Leviticus 18, which is one of the lists of stuff the canaanites did that the Israelites shouldn't. Some liberal movements might not read this, as it is one of the places that speaks about "homosexuality". (I'm increasingly enamoured of my take which is: the practice being dissed is some ancient cannanite practice which has as much relationship to modern, mutually consentual homosexual sex, as the biblical "leprosy" has with the modern disease. (i.e. none at all) Consequently, I think it's important to read it, if only to discuss what we believe in today.)
I wonder if the Reform movement, which doesn't do musaf, decided to integrate that aspect of YK musaf into its mincha service?
That makes sense to me. I usually leave for Yiskor (since my parents & siblings are all currently alive, there's a tradition of leaving for Yiskor). This year I got confused and left before the martyrology as well. This was all definitely after the torah reading in Shacharit, before returning the Torahs & Musaf. On the other hand, your other thought about Yiskor being a hook for people to come back also has much merit.
if the congregation isn't prepared to provide food with which to break the fast (that would be a logistical challenge in a large congregation), I'm not too upset.
You don't need to provide a meal for people; you'd be surprised how refreshing some OJ and crackers and cookies would be. Just enough to get the old blood sugar level cranking so you can make it home...
Re: Mincha, etc
Date: 2002-09-17 02:38 pm (UTC)Yizkor: you do this during shacharit? I guess that shouldn't surprise me, as that's how we do it the other times during the year when it's said. Yom Kippur is special.
(Our rabbi specifically encourages people to come for Yizkor; if it's not personally relevant yet, well, there are lots of people with no one to remember them, so you can do that. Of course, he does respect the wishes of those whose families have the tradition of leaving at that time; he's just trying to discourage it for those who don't have a tradition either way.)
You don't need to provide a meal for people; you'd be surprised how refreshing some OJ and crackers and cookies would be.
True. And, in fact, I can't eat a lot right after the fast; I graze for that night and don't eat a real meal until sometime the next day. If only our congregation had a place to put out juice and cookies. (See my reply to
Jonah
Date: 2002-09-17 02:35 pm (UTC)I like Jonah. There was a good d'var on it this year, which I'll try to reproduce (at least the high points. I was pretty out of it by then, so any flaws are with me, not the d'var.)
The woman giving the d'var started by saying, what does the book of Jonah have to teach us this year. Which is a cool way of reminding us that our relationship to the text changes as we change.
On Shabbat Shuvah, our rabbi gave a d'var about the "13 attributes" which we say over and over on Yom Kippur. They're taken from Exodus 34:6, sort of. Why "sort of"? Because the Rabbis do something totally outrageous: they insert a period in the middle of a verse, totally changing the meaning. It's as if I wrote "I feel that President Bush has put forth very compelling reasons to attack Iraq at the present time, but I don't think that he's thought out the devistating consequences an attack would have to the greater Middle East" and then you quoted me as saying "I feel that President Bush has put forth very compelling reasons to attack Iraq."
So, what does this have to do with Jonah? Well, when talking to God about how upset he is that God saved Nineveh, he quotes a shortened version of the 13 attributes -- leaving out "truth". This is strange, since Jonah is "ben Ammetai" (which could be translated "son of truth" if you're willing to stretch a bit). Jonah wants a harsh, unforgiving God of "din" or unyielding judgement, but in the book of Jonah, God is constantly giving people (including Jonah) second chances. Of course, on Yom Kippur, we all want second chances.
There was more, but I don't recall it... sorry...
I also like the absurd streak in Jonah. For example: Here he is, on a boat in a horrible storm. Everyone is pleading and crying out to their god. What does he do? Goes into the hold and falls alseep. The gourd is another absurd moment. Jonah's waiting for fire and brimstone to wipe out 120,000 people, and so builds a Sukkah (subtle reminder of the next holiday here). Then he gets worked up about a shady plant?
Another interesting thought: it takes Jonah 3 days to cry out to God. What did he do before then? (There's a Midrash by Larry Gerstenhaber (published in Living Text, No. 3) which posed the question for me.)
Also, why did the people of Nineveh believe Jonah, if they were so wicked? Why didn't Jonah want them to repent? What would you do if someone told you that in 3 days Pittsburgh (or New York, or whatever) would be destroyed unless everyone changed their ways? Why does God mention the cattle in Nineveh, as opposed to the sheep?
Re: Jonah
Date: 2002-09-17 08:18 pm (UTC)Another interesting thought: it takes Jonah 3 days to cry out to God. What did he do before then?
Hmm, good question.
Also, why did the people of Nineveh believe Jonah, if they were so wicked?
Wicked != stupid?
More general question: why did people believe prophets? While today we have our share of people who claim to know what God wants, they (fortunately) do not have enough people following them to affect everyone else.
What would you do if someone told you that in 3 days Pittsburgh (or New York, or whatever) would be destroyed unless everyone changed their ways?
The most likely answer is that I would ignore it because I would assume the person was a crackpot. (While I am far from perfect, I do not think of myself as a rampant sinner.) If for some reason I thought there was a chance of truth, I would probably seek personal forgiveness for my transgressions from God (more fervently than usual), then pack up and get the heck out of the way. If I was feeling particularly lucky, I might gather ten righteous people and cite the promise to spare S'dom under such conditions. :-) But convince an entire city to repent? Especially if everyone has to do it for it to work? In 2002 it's not going to happen.
Why does God mention the cattle in Nineveh, as opposed to the sheep?
Why mention livestock at all?
Re: Jonah
Date: 2002-09-18 05:27 am (UTC)Good point. I'm sure the d'var addressed this; I don't recall how.
I would ignore it because I would assume the person was a crackpot.
Yeah, me too. So maybe that means that we have to be more self-aware, since an outside person isn't going to come along and tell us we've screwed up. An important thing to think about on a day of repentence.
Why does God mention the cattle in Nineveh, as opposed to the sheep?
Why mention livestock at all?
Maybe it's to emphasize that God doesn't just care about people, God cares about the entire world. It's easy to think that it's all about us -- but it isn't.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-19 10:35 am (UTC)I never understood why we don't do them for grandparents or great-grandparents if they died when we were sentient or "adults."
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-19 02:53 pm (UTC)I could, of course, be wrong, not having had a lifetime of experience with this.