Yom Kippur

[cellio]

Kol Nidre: good sermon about Israel. The cello rendition of "Kol Nidre" was long at 10 minutes. The rest of the service was pretty much normal, what I expected.

In the morning I felt physically fine, better than I expected to. I felt like all the water I had drunk at T minus 5 minutes was paying off. Alas, the feeling did not last.

Morning service: the sermon was fantastic. I hope he publishes it on the web site. He talked about ethics and integrity in a way that really worked for me. (The only other comment I've heard thus far was negative, so you can't please everyone.) He even gave "homework": he publishes the "eilu devarim" bit from the Talmud (also part of the shacharit liturgy) in the service handout and told people to take it home and study it. Oh, and to choose three things from the list of mitzvot that you can never do enough of and work on them between now and next Yom Kippur.

I had a seat on the bimah for the morning service. Lots of people did, so chairs were in places that don't usually get chairs. I couldn't see the ark from mine (because of the curve of the room). Oops. Hearing wasn't a problem, though. Our set of seats was shorted a book, which caused problems for a few minutes until someone figured out where to get another one quietly. (Walking down off the bimah and asking someone in the first row for a book seemed tacky, though I briefly considered it.)

There is a part of the Yom Kippur liturgy where you basically say "I forgive those who have wronged me; let no one be judged harsely on my account". (It then goes on to say something like "just as I forgive them, may they forgive me...".) I've always had trouble with unrequested forgiveness. I'm also not ready to say that I would always grant it if asked. I mean, if, chas v'shalom, someone were to murder a family member in cold blood, I don't think I could forgive him no matter how nicely he asked unless I saw real evidence of repentance. But this year I came a stop closer to accepting this part of the liturgy, by realizing that at the very least I could grant forgiveness to any Jew who might have wronged me and who was saying these same words (i.e. was taking the Day of Atonement seriously).

The haftarah reading for the Yom Kippur mincha (afternoon) service is the book of Jonah. I just don't get this story. Ok, the plain meaning is mostly straightforward: (1) don't run away from God when he tells you to do something and (2) repentance is possible. But deeper meanings, and any reasonable explanation of the part at the end with the gourd, elude me.

The Reform machzor fills the afternoon service with all sorts of readings that aren't traditional. A lot of them dwelled on the martyrs of our people, including those who died in the Shoah (Holocaust). At times I wondered if I had time-warped to a Yom Ha-Shoah service. I remember this from past years, of course, and was even one of the readers last year, but I still don't care for it. It also makes me wonder what the content of a more traditional YK mincha service is.

After mincha was a study session for adults (and something for families with younger kids). The guy who frequently dominates Shabbat-morning Torah study with long-winded, frequently-off-topic (or missing-the-point) stories was there and in his usual form, alas, but the session was otherwise interesting. My brain was getting fuzzy by then, though, so no details here.

After that was Yizkor (memorial service). I was pretty tired by then, and apparently fell asleep during what I suspect was a pretty good sermon. Oops. Yizkor always makes me feel a little strange, because I'm never sure if I should be mourning non-Jewish relatives in a Jewish way. (My compromise is that I do so for those who have died in the last several years, but not the ones whose deaths predate my Judaism.) Then it was on to Ne'ilah, the concluding prayers, which didn't move me quite as much this year as last but were still effective. And then a slow walk home and a half-hour wait for sunset.

This was not a good year, fast-wise. I'm not sure what was different. All the preparation was ok as far as I could tell (I ate and drank the right things at the right times), but I was much more parched and light-headed late in the day than I should have been. And then I made matters worse by taking some ibuprofin to kill a nasty headache around hour 20 of the fast. It diminished but did not dispel the headache, and it made me queasy. Realization after the fact: Ibuprofin isn't supposed to be taken on an empty stomach. Oops.

Comments

Re: Mincha, etc

[cellio]

Your interpretation of the Torah discussion of homosexuality makes sense to me. I suspect, but don't know, that the answer from liberal movements would be that we do read this in its proper time in the cycle, so not reading it on Yom Kippur isn't the same as never reading it. (We read Lev 19 instead, which you can argue is also pretty important.)

Yizkor: you do this during shacharit? I guess that shouldn't surprise me, as that's how we do it the other times during the year when it's said. Yom Kippur is special.

(Our rabbi specifically encourages people to come for Yizkor; if it's not personally relevant yet, well, there are lots of people with no one to remember them, so you can do that. Of course, he does respect the wishes of those whose families have the tradition of leaving at that time; he's just trying to discourage it for those who don't have a tradition either way.)

You don't need to provide a meal for people; you'd be surprised how refreshing some OJ and crackers and cookies would be.

True. And, in fact, I can't eat a lot right after the fast; I graze for that night and don't eat a real meal until sometime the next day. If only our congregation had a place to put out juice and cookies. (See my reply to magid above.)