Yom Kippur

[cellio]

Kol Nidre: good sermon about Israel. The cello rendition of "Kol Nidre" was long at 10 minutes. The rest of the service was pretty much normal, what I expected.

In the morning I felt physically fine, better than I expected to. I felt like all the water I had drunk at T minus 5 minutes was paying off. Alas, the feeling did not last.

Morning service: the sermon was fantastic. I hope he publishes it on the web site. He talked about ethics and integrity in a way that really worked for me. (The only other comment I've heard thus far was negative, so you can't please everyone.) He even gave "homework": he publishes the "eilu devarim" bit from the Talmud (also part of the shacharit liturgy) in the service handout and told people to take it home and study it. Oh, and to choose three things from the list of mitzvot that you can never do enough of and work on them between now and next Yom Kippur.

I had a seat on the bimah for the morning service. Lots of people did, so chairs were in places that don't usually get chairs. I couldn't see the ark from mine (because of the curve of the room). Oops. Hearing wasn't a problem, though. Our set of seats was shorted a book, which caused problems for a few minutes until someone figured out where to get another one quietly. (Walking down off the bimah and asking someone in the first row for a book seemed tacky, though I briefly considered it.)

There is a part of the Yom Kippur liturgy where you basically say "I forgive those who have wronged me; let no one be judged harsely on my account". (It then goes on to say something like "just as I forgive them, may they forgive me...".) I've always had trouble with unrequested forgiveness. I'm also not ready to say that I would always grant it if asked. I mean, if, chas v'shalom, someone were to murder a family member in cold blood, I don't think I could forgive him no matter how nicely he asked unless I saw real evidence of repentance. But this year I came a stop closer to accepting this part of the liturgy, by realizing that at the very least I could grant forgiveness to any Jew who might have wronged me and who was saying these same words (i.e. was taking the Day of Atonement seriously).

The haftarah reading for the Yom Kippur mincha (afternoon) service is the book of Jonah. I just don't get this story. Ok, the plain meaning is mostly straightforward: (1) don't run away from God when he tells you to do something and (2) repentance is possible. But deeper meanings, and any reasonable explanation of the part at the end with the gourd, elude me.

The Reform machzor fills the afternoon service with all sorts of readings that aren't traditional. A lot of them dwelled on the martyrs of our people, including those who died in the Shoah (Holocaust). At times I wondered if I had time-warped to a Yom Ha-Shoah service. I remember this from past years, of course, and was even one of the readers last year, but I still don't care for it. It also makes me wonder what the content of a more traditional YK mincha service is.

After mincha was a study session for adults (and something for families with younger kids). The guy who frequently dominates Shabbat-morning Torah study with long-winded, frequently-off-topic (or missing-the-point) stories was there and in his usual form, alas, but the session was otherwise interesting. My brain was getting fuzzy by then, though, so no details here.

After that was Yizkor (memorial service). I was pretty tired by then, and apparently fell asleep during what I suspect was a pretty good sermon. Oops. Yizkor always makes me feel a little strange, because I'm never sure if I should be mourning non-Jewish relatives in a Jewish way. (My compromise is that I do so for those who have died in the last several years, but not the ones whose deaths predate my Judaism.) Then it was on to Ne'ilah, the concluding prayers, which didn't move me quite as much this year as last but were still effective. And then a slow walk home and a half-hour wait for sunset.

This was not a good year, fast-wise. I'm not sure what was different. All the preparation was ok as far as I could tell (I ate and drank the right things at the right times), but I was much more parched and light-headed late in the day than I should have been. And then I made matters worse by taking some ibuprofin to kill a nasty headache around hour 20 of the fast. It diminished but did not dispel the headache, and it made me queasy. Realization after the fact: Ibuprofin isn't supposed to be taken on an empty stomach. Oops.

Comments

[dvarin.livejournal.com]

I have this sheet that's basically a big list of sin categories, used to help one recall things in order to confess them. It's roughly divided into things pertaining to each of the ten commandments. Under "Do not murder" I find: "Have you refused to apologize to those whom you have unjustly wounded...or make other acts of reparation to them?" I'm not sure how authoritative that is, so I also get to point to Matthew 5:21, which says something to the effect of "Before making offering to God, go and be reconciled with those you know you have wronged, or they will complain to God and he will hold you accountable."
So, you now have at least my permission to look funny at anyone who claims to be Christian but says seeking forgiveness from other people is not necessary... unless I'm completely wrong, of course. :)

[cellio]

Well, I did say "some" and not "all". I don't know how common each approach is, or how much things have changed since I was a child and learning some of this.

Under "Do not murder" I find: "Have you refused to apologize to those whom you have unjustly wounded...or make other acts of reparation to them?"

That's interesting. Did you know that the Talmud likens slander to murder?

[fiannaharpar.livejournal.com]

I'm a Methodist, so we don't have "confession" as you list above. We're kind of under our own power to figure out where we have sinned and to make reparations/repentance on our own.

Everyone gets my permission to look *really* funny at anyone who calls themselves Christians and says that they don't have to seek forgiveness from those they have wronged.