cellio: (moon)
Monica ([personal profile] cellio) wrote2002-10-31 05:33 pm
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Halloween

A couple weeks ago, the assistant rabbi called and asked if I could lead the minyan tonight. (This amount of advance notice is unusual.) It's customary for the person leading this service to give a two-minute mini-sermon; I haven't done this the last few times because I had little or no notice, but I certainly should do so this time.

Until last night I didn't know what I was going to talk about. This week's parsha is Chayei Sarah -- the death and burial of Sarah and Avraham's efforts to find a wife for his son Yitzchak. There's plenty of stuff to talk about there -- funeral customs, marriage customs, business ethics, what to look for in a spouse, more -- but none of it was coming together for me.

So I'm going to talk about Halloween instead. Basically, I don't think Jews should encourage trick-or-treating. (I would make that statement broader, actually, but it's appropriate to focus here.) Consider the values that this activity teaches: that it's ok to demand gifts from your neighbors; that extortion is appropriate; and that vandalism is ok if it doesn't really hurt anyone. Are these really the values we should be teaching kids?

I can hear the objection now: "but it's all in fun, and no one gets hurt". That something is "all in fun" should condone it? I can think of some things that were "all in fun" that were not at all pleasant for people on the receiving end, most from childhood; I'll bet you can too.

Halloween is an interesting contrast to Purim. At Purim, we (sometimes) dress up, and we also do lots of stuff with food. Specifically, we give food to our neighbors. Give, not take. Isn't that a great value to teach? So much of Judaism (and polite society) is built around tzedakah and generosity, and here is an easy way to make that real for kids (and adults).

Now granted, in the neighborhoods where I and most of my friends live, trick-or-treating doesn't have the unpleasant overtones I've described, especially for the younger kids. I haven't been vandalized since moving to Squirrel Hill. And it can be fun to dress up and visit your neighbors. But I think the community parties that started to crop up when I was a kid are a better way of meeting those goals.

I'm not being a Scrooge here; we give out treats at our house (though this year, I don't think either of us will be home in time). I develop blind spots for the college-age "kids" who don't even try to dress up, and just hand over the Reeses' Cups. It's easier that way. And I'm also not saying that Halloween is evil and will ultimately be responsible for the fall of civilization etc, the way some of the rabid right-wingers get about everything from TV to role-playing games. But I think there are better things to teach our kids. If I had kids, I think I would take them out for Chinese food and a movie that night, and get them excited about Purim. Those are much better values to be teaching.

Update: This post should not be taken to mean that I have problems with other trappings of this holiday. I'm all for sugar rushes and gourd-enabled artistic expression. (Translation: I like candy as much as anyone, and I had fun carving pumpkins at Ralph & Lori's on Sunday.)