![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
kashrut
Before Shabbat I was having a conversation with someone about kashrut, and I thought I would expand on it a bit here.
I have found that the mindfulness that is required when preparing and eating kosher food helps me in my relationship with God. This is not the sole reason I keep kosher, but it is a factor in helping me to connect with this mitzvah.
Animals eat whatever they find; we have to think about it and, by doing so, elevate the act of eating. We take a basic physical need and elevate it to an awareness of, and commitment to, God. I think that's pretty neat. (I have heard some vegetarians and vegans make a similar argument, by the way.)
Kashrut isn't a yes/no proposition, though. The correct answer to the question "do you keep kosher" is rarely a simple "yes" -- because there are so many factors and so many different interpretations. Inside the home versus out? Glatt (an additional stringency on meat)? Hechsher (certification) or trust in the ingredients list (where applicable)? Cholov Yisrael (milk production supervised by Jews, to ensure it's cow milk), or is the FDA a good-enough guarantee? And so on. There are many factors, and my kashrut is probably not the same as yours.
Ultimately, each of us draws a line between foods we will eat and foods we will not eat. If we draw the line in approximately the same place, we can share meals and eat out of each others' kitchens. There will always be people for whom I am not kosher enough, and people who are not kosher enough for me, and so long as we all understand each other that's ok. Occasionally frustrating, especially when the different standards are discovered at inopportune times, but for the most part workable.
For me, the progression from non-kosher to where I am now went approximately as follows, over the course of a few months:
I will eat meat (of kosher species) at friends' houses without asking for more specifics. I will eat off the dishes at my friends' houses even if they don't keep kosher. In that sense I am not "keeping kosher", but I'm drawing a line between "what I do" and "what I demand from others" (though I do have minimum standards for others). Since part of the point of kashrut is to restrict my own actions in ways that I think God wants from me, these factors are most important when I am in fact the one who is acting. While one could certainly argue that I am being insufficiently careful of my relationship with God if I eat off of my gentile friends' clean dishes, I have trouble believing it deep down.
Note that I'll eat meat from friends, because I didn't choose the menu, but only veggie/dairy at restaurants, where I choose what to eat. Many people who keep stricter forms of kashrut won't eat in non-kosher restaurants at all; I'm not there and may never be. (By the way, I have found that my friends are remarkably willing to meet my basic needs like not serving beef in cream sauce or pork roast. I am grateful for this, as it means I don't have to choose between religion and friends.)
I have found that the mindfulness that is required when preparing and eating kosher food helps me in my relationship with God. This is not the sole reason I keep kosher, but it is a factor in helping me to connect with this mitzvah.
Animals eat whatever they find; we have to think about it and, by doing so, elevate the act of eating. We take a basic physical need and elevate it to an awareness of, and commitment to, God. I think that's pretty neat. (I have heard some vegetarians and vegans make a similar argument, by the way.)
Kashrut isn't a yes/no proposition, though. The correct answer to the question "do you keep kosher" is rarely a simple "yes" -- because there are so many factors and so many different interpretations. Inside the home versus out? Glatt (an additional stringency on meat)? Hechsher (certification) or trust in the ingredients list (where applicable)? Cholov Yisrael (milk production supervised by Jews, to ensure it's cow milk), or is the FDA a good-enough guarantee? And so on. There are many factors, and my kashrut is probably not the same as yours.
Ultimately, each of us draws a line between foods we will eat and foods we will not eat. If we draw the line in approximately the same place, we can share meals and eat out of each others' kitchens. There will always be people for whom I am not kosher enough, and people who are not kosher enough for me, and so long as we all understand each other that's ok. Occasionally frustrating, especially when the different standards are discovered at inopportune times, but for the most part workable.
For me, the progression from non-kosher to where I am now went approximately as follows, over the course of a few months:
- No pork or shellfish, and no red meat with milk. (I initially rejected the rules against chicken/dairy combinations as nonsensical.)
- No meat (including chicken) and dairy in the same meal; choose one when eating out. (I eventually decided that there were other reasons to follow the chicken rule anyway.)
- Don't buy non-kosher meat; don't eat meat in restaurants (unless kosher).
- Separate dishes at home; don't worry about dishes out. (Separating the dishes came as a bit of a surprise for me; basically, I woke up one morning and realized I had to.)
- Waiting periods between eating meat and eating dairy.
I will eat meat (of kosher species) at friends' houses without asking for more specifics. I will eat off the dishes at my friends' houses even if they don't keep kosher. In that sense I am not "keeping kosher", but I'm drawing a line between "what I do" and "what I demand from others" (though I do have minimum standards for others). Since part of the point of kashrut is to restrict my own actions in ways that I think God wants from me, these factors are most important when I am in fact the one who is acting. While one could certainly argue that I am being insufficiently careful of my relationship with God if I eat off of my gentile friends' clean dishes, I have trouble believing it deep down.
Note that I'll eat meat from friends, because I didn't choose the menu, but only veggie/dairy at restaurants, where I choose what to eat. Many people who keep stricter forms of kashrut won't eat in non-kosher restaurants at all; I'm not there and may never be. (By the way, I have found that my friends are remarkably willing to meet my basic needs like not serving beef in cream sauce or pork roast. I am grateful for this, as it means I don't have to choose between religion and friends.)
no subject
Hey; that's what friends are for.
no subject
no subject
Cooking with and for you has pointed out some of my own boundaries to me.
I don't have a problem with cooking to your standards for friends. (I remember that when you first stated coming to Sunday dinners, you offered to stay away one week so that we wouldn't be hassled with cooking kosher all the time. I'm so glad that we went the extra step to cook kosher routinely for you--I've repeatedly thought about that decision and been very happy that we made that choice.) I would be cramped by some of the higher standards you mentioned as possibilities.
An acquaintance who's dined with us sometimes does not eat wheat, sugar, or milk products. For one dinner, we managed to accomodate her restrictions--though dessert was tricky. If she were coming to Sunday dinner normally, though, I would not accomodate her restrictions with every dish at every meal. I feel somewhat sheepish about it, but it's true. So the boundary of what I'm willing to accomodate is somewhere between those two points.
I also note that the boundary shifts a bit when other constraints come in. When you joined us for Christmas dinner, I wasn't willing to make the whole meal kosher, and dropped back to a lesser standard of ensuring that there was enough kosher food for you to eat a full meal. (And you were entirely gracious about that; this is not a complaint, just a long-winded ramble.) (I also note that there was a lot less dairy in that holiday meal than I expected. I was surprised.)
no subject
And I really appreciate this, because I really enjoy Sunday dinner and am glad you felt comfortable enough to invite me.
I would be cramped by some of the higher standards you mentioned as possibilities.
I wouldn't even expect my family to, say, kasher their kitchens; I certainly would not expect it of friends.
When you joined us for Christmas dinner, I wasn't willing to make the whole meal kosher, and dropped back to a lesser standard of ensuring that there was enough kosher food for you to eat a full meal.
Which is perfectly reasonable, and quite gracious on your part to begin with! I did not expect to be invited to your holiday dinner, after all. (I would have otherwise been traditional and gone out for Chinese food and a movie. :-) ) And actually, I am just fine with this approach for all meals; I have no objection to you serving non-kosher food at a meal where I can still eat other food. You've done this, actually, whether it's cheeseburgers after setting aside a hamburger, or cheese on the side for the chili, or whatever. If there were entire dishes I couldn't eat I would understand. This is not unusual; I face that situation at random parties, SCA events, and yes, my parents' house. I try to remain adaptable.
no subject
no subject
You eat something before going so you're not hungry, you eat fresh fruit and maybe a plain, plain salad and you promise yourself a treat afterwards. And you get to do all the talking.
no subject
I feel that eating at someone's house is very important. For me, food and love are interlinked; I feel that by not eating at someone's home I am severing my relationship with them.
On the other hand, kashrut is important. So I will eat "dairy/vegetarian/fish (with fins&scales)" if my friend is not kosher, or if I'm eating with friends at a non-kosher restaurant. This is not a huge imposition, I think. If my friends keep kosher, then I will eat whatever they serve at their house. I don't think it's at all reasonable to interrogate them about their kashrut standards, if they are comitted to being kosher. I suppose you could say that that's easy for me, since I don't require meat to be "glatt", or cheese to have a heksher, or other stringencies... but trust is an important part. I know people who take a "treif until proven kosher" attitude towards life ("but how do you know that someone didn't smear pork all over that street vendor's pretzel bin before you got there"); I disagree with this attitude.
no subject
One day, I shall make you cookies for this statement. :)