mistaken identity?

[cellio]

Yesterday I picked up the ringing phone to be met with "Is this Mrs. Cellio?" Now, that's a telemarketing tip-off as far as I'm concerned, as is "...Mrs. Zweig?", so I asked who was calling. Sometimes I respond to such things with "there's no such person"; this time I started to and at the same time she was saying my full name, so I let her talk to me.

It turned out to be someone from Ohr Somayach, an organization I support, so it was, I suppose, ok that she called me. It wasn't a cold-calling telemarketer, at least. (Or UJF -- same thing.)

But the whole thing did make me wonder about one tangential thing: am I "Mrs. Cellio"? I mean, I'm married, and I kept my original last name of "Cellio", but "Mrs. Cellio" usually implies a "Mr. Cellio", right? And there's no "Mr. Cellio" living here. I don't think of myself as either "Mrs. Cellio" or "Mrs. Zweig"; I mostly just avoid honorifics, and grudgingly cough up an ambiguous "Ms." if forced to specify something. I've done this since college; it's not recent. (Aha -- a reason to seek a PhD! :-) )

I wonder what my various friends with mixed last names do.

Comments

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Pretty much exactly what you do, except that I'm completely comfortable with Ms. I am clearly not Mrs. Rivkis, since I am not married to Mr. Rivkis. I choose not to be Mrs. Jacobowitz. And I'm obviously not Miss Rivkis anymore, or what's that wedding ring doing on my hand?

Ms. Rivkis works, and for people who don't know me well enough to call me Naomi (at least those who don't do it anyway; I simmer in impotent fury against those who do so uninvited) I usually insist on it. I will permit business colleagues of Manny's to call me Mrs. Jacobowitz if I think they are too important to piss off.

[dagonell.livejournal.com]

We are Mr. Salley and Dr. Ehrlich. :) You're right, the PhD does have its uses. :) Weirdly enough, my mother had a serious problem with this when we got married. She kept telling us that it was improper for a married woman not to use her husband's name. She actually demanded that Karen change her name. Can you say 'control freak'? It took about a year before she finally quit.

Now, I have a question from the male perspective. My wife and I have joint bank accounts and both our names are listed on our credit cards. When we got a credit report a few years ago, I noticed that it had "David Ehrlich" listed as a "known alias". When I called about it, I was told that some business credit card readers will only pick up the first name listed. Listing my wife's name as a known alias stops the red flagging that would normally result from "David Salley" signing a credit card statement made out to "Karen Ehrlich". Has Dani ever had this problem? Has he ever gotten phone calls or anything for "Dani Cellio"? :

[littleweeds]

Pretty much the same thing you do. If it's necessary, I'm quite comfortable with Ms.

About the only people I don't correct when called Mrs.

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Pretty much the same thing you do. If it's necessary, I'm quite comfortable with Ms.

About the only people I don't correct when called Mrs. <insert-husband's-last-name-here> are my grandparents or people to important to upset.

Actually, it's kind of amusing... since I'm often better known than my husband, he gets called by my last name more often than I get called by his.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

For their time and place it was very feminist for my parents to have my mother hyphenate her name. (My parents would get incredibly pissed off to be called feminists, but IMO they are.) To this day, there are people who call my father Mr. My-mother's-hyphenated-last-name, which amuses him; that in turn boggles many of his friends, some of whom I suspect would beat their wives in rage if such a thing happened to them.

Meanwhile, I intend to be Ms. My-current-last-name all my life, because, well, that's me. My fiance has a 'weird' last name and I have a 'weird' first name anyway, so why should I make life harder for myself? :) Meanwhile, when people call for Mrs. My-current-last-name, if I'm feeling truly obnoxious, I tell them she's dead; she is my grandmother, and, well, she is dead.

A.

[jeannegrrl.livejournal.com]

My sister-in-law keeps her maiden name since that's how she's known in the PhD world. It's kinda funny she doesn't object to being called "Mrs. Husband's Last Name" but she definitely objects to being called "Mrs. her last name"

I took my husband's last name, moving my maiden name to be my middle name, but I feel weird being called Mrs. Glazer (Hillel's Mom is Mrs. Glazer - tho I don't call her that, I call her Mom or Sabta) - I mean it *is* who I am - I'm married, and I'm a Glazer, but I normally check the "Ms" category if I'm filling out paperwork. I considered myself Ms. Sarfaty before I got married so now I consider myself Ms. Glazer... But I don't make an issue if I'm called Mrs - it just feels weird...

However my personal pet peeve is the custom of addressing stuff to Mr. and Mrs. Husband's First Name and Last Name. I love my husband. Dearly. But I am not Mrs. Hillel anymore than he is Mr. Jeanne. Although I have had friends who know this pet peeve of mine, who want to tease me, address stuff to Mr. and Mrs. Jeanne Glazer or Jeanne Glazer and Family. :-)

[ohi.livejournal.com]

When I got married, I made my husband's last name my middle name, so I'm Debbie Ridpath Ohi. This confused a lot of people, especially those who had never seen me in person so assumed that my married name is my last name.

I wanted to keep "Ohi" because I'm used to it, and I look far more like an "Ohi" than a "Ridpath". I don't get my panties in a knot if people accidentally call me Debbie Ridpath, though.

Debbie

[alice-curiouser.livejournal.com]

I use both my original last name (Ludwig), and Rusty's last name (Snyder). If someone calls me Mrs. Ludwig, to me it implies that their should be a MR. Ludwig, but I usually don't bother to correct them. It's usually telemarketers who do this, and I'm going to just hang up on them anyway.

What's really funny is when Rusty gets mail addressed to Russell Ludwig...

old-fashioned etiquette

[jpbl.livejournal.com]

Not that I want to stir things up, but I seem to remember from books I read while I was planning my wedding that in old-fashioned (and old) etiquette books, the proper way to address a married woman is either Mrs. Husband's-First-Name Husband's-Last-Name or Wife's-First-Name Wife's-Last-Name (with no title). Obviously in the past, it was assumed that the Wife's-Last-Name = Husband's-Last-Name, which isn't always the case. But, according to that logic, you could be addressed as Mrs. Dani Zweig or Monica Cellio, but not as Mrs. Monica Cellio, Mrs. Monica Zweig, or Monica Zweig. Of course, I'm not trying to imply that the people who keep calling you Mrs. Cellio (except grandparents and those of that age) have ever read those etiquette books, and at the moment, I think you've got a really good way to recognize telemarketers, which is always a plus. :)