cellio | Deirdre's memorial service (Friday)

Friday afternoon was the memorial service for Deirdre. I didn't really know what to expect, particularly with timing. It was scheduled for 3:30 at CMU; Shabbat officially started at 5:19. I figured I could do this, and left work a bit after 3. Found parking right away, at a meter, and got there in plenty of time.

The service was lovely. A lot of people from a lot of different points in Deirdre's life spoke. I learned a lot of things that I hadn't known about her. One of the most touching moments, for me, actually came from one of her students, when he said that because of her teaching he had gone into linguistics. Deirdre had a lot of influence in a lot of lives, and this was a small case where it was more direct than usual. More broadly, she was full of fun and laughter and insight, and I will miss her.

I saw but didn't get to talk to Larry before things got started. I also saw and briefly spoke with assorted other people. The formal part of the gathering got started late and ran until a bit after 5 (I think 5:10 or so). I didn't want to leave during that part; I couldn't do that to Larry, and would sacrifice some Shabbat correctness if necessary to not be rude to him. After the formal part I talked with Larry, said "hi - bye" to several other people I had wanted to talk to, and left. (I hope they understood, but some probably thought I was being rude to run off right away.) I got home, turned on the oven, shoved the casserole into it from the fridge (I did all prep Thursday), and lit candles at 5:35, which was, technically, 2 minutes before sundown and so good enough. (I've never pushed the 18 minutes so far before.) I had set all the lights, the electric blanket, and the crock pot in the morning, just in case things were tight.

In retrospect, I should have done things differently. I should have asked someone for a ride from Squirrel Hill to the memorial and gone home from work to start food and the like. (Or just planned on cold food for one meal, even, so all I would have had to do was drop my car off.) Once at CMU, I would not have been pressed for time, and I could have stayed as long as seemed appropriate. That would have been the correct thing to do. I wish I had thought of it before it was too late!

(I briefly considered just staying and picking up my car after Shabbat. If I thought that the worst I would get would be a ticket I would have done it, but I wasn't sure that CMU wouldn't tow me or boot me or something for being at an unpaid meter for more than a day. They've done stuff like that to people in the past.)