it's all in how you say it

[cellio]

A fellow congregant called and asked me to be on the steering committee (read: board) of the sisterhood.

What I thought: Having a sisterhood (and brotherhood) is anathema to an egalitarian congregation. If we say that men and women don't have assigned roles, why on earth would I want to help perpetrate an organization that tries to go backwards by (re-)assigning those roles? It's not like our sisterhood and brotherhood are trying to move past conventional gender roles -- the women handle babysitting during services and serve cookies and coffee afterwards, and the men hold barbeques and talks by investment bankers. Feh! I want none of it! And not just because babysitting and serving coffee aren't my thing! There's a higher principle here. How can I help you see this?

What I said: I'm flattered, but no.

Comments

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

"Other". I live in Flatbush. There's a synagogue of some sort on pretty much every block around here, ranging from tiny Chasidishe shteiblach to large, imposing yeshivas and beautiful, wealthy Sephardi synagogues. All are Orthodox, and pretty much all are further to the right than I am - there are maybe four or five Modern Orthodox congregations in this area.

Modern Orthodox synagogues are pretty much organized the way the liberal branches are - a board of trustees and a paid rabbi. And, I suspect the larger "Black hat" synagogues, the ones with very large memberships, are also organized in that way. It's just that there are far more smaller ones, and those tend to be owned by the rabbis themeselves - often the shul is part of their own homes. In other areas of Brooklyn, these shteiblach would be run by Chasidim, but Flatbush is a center of "yeshivishe" types - very Orthodox, with a uniform of black suits and black hats for the men and wigs for the women, but who are not Chasidic, and so that's who own our shuls.

Although, there are also any number of Chasidishe places. My husband takes a weekly class on "milk and meat" at a little Chasidishe shteible less than a block from us, and that's where he goes when he wants to daaven with minyan during the week. Our own shul only has Shabbat and Sunday services.