cellio | thwarted

Today is Lag b'Omer, which (goofy as it may sound) is a traditional day for haircuts. [1] I've been meaning to get a few inches of split ends trimmed off anyway, and I remembered seeing what's probably a suitable provider of said service a few blocks from where I work. So I wandered over there, only to find them closed.

Oops. Foiled again.

I don't really know what to do with hair. I like it long and I don't want to have to fuss with it (anything more than "wash, towel dry, comb" is too much work), so I haven't given it much upkeep. It reached a natural endpoint on length a while back that's not as long as I'd like, but oh well. I hear I've got a bad case of split ends, but since I can't actually see them myself I don't tend to remember that. I wonder if trimming a few inches would even help. I'm willing to iterate on small trims over a year to fix the problem, but I'm not willing to cut it short.

[1] Ok, I just know you're going to ask. The Omer is the period of time between Pesach and Shavuot (seven weeks). It is, traditionally, a period of semi-mourning -- no weddings and other big bashes, and so on. One of the things you're not supposed to do during this time is to cut your hair or shave. Yes, that's one reason traditional men grow beards; it beats the ratty fuzzy look each spring. So anyway, there is a one-day reprieve on this, on the 33rd day, because good things happened on that date historically. And lots of observant Jews go out for haircuts on that day. I don't officially follow the no-haircut-during-Omer tradition, though as I've said it doesn't affect me, but since I was going to try to get one anyway, I figured I'd do it today. Just because.

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Trimming off a few inches should help with the split ends. I had long hair for a good part of my life. The periodic trims did the trick for me. Also, sometimes I would put conditioner on the ends after shampooing. I never put in on the top because it seems to make my hair greasy.

Regular trims will a)get rid of split ends and b)encourage your hair to grow longer/faster.
Shampoo only your scalp, the shampoo will clean the rest of your hair when you wash it out.
Condition only the length of your hair, never near the scalp.
Don't vigorously towel dry your hair and don't brush it when it's wet to cut down on split ends.
I have lots of advice on hair :) and it is all from experience. My hair is currently about 1 inch from being sat on, it already reaches the seat.

Thanks for the advice. I currently shampoo only the scalp; I figure the rest of it will take care of itself in the process of rinsing the shampoo out. I don't use conditioner. I did have a bottle of some spray stuff that you apply after washing (while combing it out) that was supposed to help with damaged hair; I don't know if it did or not, but the bottle ran out and I haven't seen anything like it in the store. (I got this from the last person I got a trim from.) That was probably some sort of conditioning stuff; I plan to ask about it when I find someone to give me a trim.

I towel-dry my hair enough to keep it from dripping, and mostly toward the scalp. Then I comb it. It finishes drying on its own in about 45 minutes. (I don't like blow-dryers.)

You can buy most of that stuff at pretty much any hair salon (including SuperCuts etc.). Also, the larger Giant Eagles have started carrying quite a bit of it as well.

The hair-cutting thing, like the music thing, is very custom-driven. Last week, on my way home from Pakua,we were talking about this, since both of the other women keep their hair short and were overdue for haircuts. One has the custom of only getting one's hair cut on L'ag B'omer, the other just waited until it was over, so her appointment was a couple days later. The first suggested that the second call her rabbi and ask if that was appropriate.

The other major prohibitions - music and weddings - have a direct bearing on why my last name is Baker - my husband's original family name was "Beckerman". They were the town matzah bakers. We theorize that this was because, as the town musicians, they needed to lay in some cash before they had 49 days when they couldn't get work (other than the 33rd.)

Music is also very custom driven. It's a mourning custom, like no hair cutting - during the official mourning period, one doesn't listen to music. Some people interpret that as no music of any sort, whether live or recorded, vocal or instrumental. Others limit that to all instrumental, and I'm of the theory that only live instrumental music counts. And then, only if you are there deliberately for the music - sitting in a hotel lobby where there happens to be a piano player or waiting on a subway platform where someone plays the steel drums does not count.

But there is now a mini-industry of a capella groups in the O world - groups of young men. Because their recordings are without music, many consider kosher for the Omer. And this year, some rabbis are saying, "nope. Still bad."

I think they're brilliant. Because, you see, it means they can get gigs on Shabbat for bar mitzvahs - so long as their harmonies can be done without microphones.

(And, yes, they do resemble, from what I've seen, boybands. :))

Thanks for the information!

The first suggested that the second call her rabbi and ask if that was appropriate.

The second was waiting until after Lag b'Omer, or until after Shavuot? If the former, I suppose the first was questioning the status of days 34 through 49, as some people say "ok from Lag b'Omer onward" and others say "not ok except on Lag b'Omer specifically". Is that what was going on here?

I think they're brilliant. Because, you see, it means they can get gigs on Shabbat for bar mitzvahs - so long as their harmonies can be done without microphones.

I agree that they're brilliant, but this makes me twitch anyway. My problem is this: technically they are not violating halacha (assuming they walk to the gig, don't use microphones or instruments, get paid before or after but not then, etc), but in reality, they're pursuing employment on Shabbat. How is this permissible? Is it possible to interpret so much at the tree level that one misses the forest? Or are there only trees, and I'm wrong to look for a forest?

Yes, of course you can make a similar argument about rabbis: they're paid to be rabbis, and their job descriptions include tasks that must be performed on Shabbat. Those tasks are also a little more necessary than gigs at bar mitzvahs, so while it does strike me as strange, it doesn't produce the full-fledged twitching the paid singers do.

Yeah, that was confusing. Let me rephrase.

R and J both are overdue for haircuts. R made her appointment specifically for L'ag B'omer; J made hers for Thursday. R holds that one can only get one's hair cut on L'ag B'omer, and suggested that J talk to her rabbi about that in case he also rules that way.

As for working on Shabbat - rabbis get paid for what they do during the week. From the O perspective, though, there is no task that requires a rabbi on Shabbat, since the congregants normally lead the services and sermons are purely optional - or can be given by anyone. *I've* given one or two, in my admittedly odd O synagogue. And, of course, our new shul has a paid Torah reader, and others have paid cantors. A big source of income for many cantors is doing High Holy Day serices - a synagogue might even hire two, for both the morning and additional services.

Perhaps we're paying them for the extensive practice required.

And, it's not just the band who would be paid for "work" on Shabbat. It would also be the caterer and any waitstaff necessary for the Bar Mitzvah seudah.

I like my hair long too, but I recently found a hairdresser who really knows what he is doing. He did take off 7 inches, but that was to give it the style it needs to grow long again properly.

I love my new hair. It looks great no matter what I do with it, takes 5 pounds off, and requires minimal effort.

The difference is that I went to a real salon instead of a $12 chop-shop. Yep, I pay $50 for my hair now, but honestly, it is worth every penny.

I got about 4 inches off in February, and it's come back pretty fast, and healthier. But, my stylist was specifically cutting off the last of my wedding highlights (close to 2 years for them to grow out).

My advice is to get someone nice who is willing to trim in small doses more frequently -- this is what I did. Oh, and please do use conditioner -- it really does help! :-)

You forgot about the bonfires on Lag B'Omer! Those are fun!

The Omer period is kinda wierd, because there are lots of conflicting customs related to it. I've heard of people doing "non-typical" omer stuff on the various holidays that fall during it -- Rosh Chodesh, Israeli Independence day, Pesach Sheni, and Yom Yerushalayim. Also some people are more relaxed after Lag B'Omer. But, like anything, there are some people who are most happy following the strictest possible interpretation of things.

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