hyphenated last names

[cellio]

Idle question:

Yesterday someone asked me if my husband and I have the same last name (we don't), and then asked why we didn't combine the names with a hyphen. We rejected that pretty much out of hand; I just don't care for it.

The practice has been around long enough that people who were born with hyphenated last names are now, potentially, marrying each other. I assume that no one hyphenates the hyphenated names, but I wonder what the most common practice is: keep your own, both take one set, or ditch all the hyphens in favor of something simpler?

Comments

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

The hyphenated thing is less common here in the UK, but seems to be catching on, friends of mine just did it, but as his surname is already rather unusual I'm not sure adding a second part to it was altogether wise. When I marry, I'll be taking Forest's surname quite happily, I've never much cared for mine and don't like the doubled thing works. What gay couples I know have done, as they can't be legally married, is come up with a complete new surname and change *both* names to that, which has its merits. I've often wondereed what two double barrels do on marriage lol

[cellio]

What gay couples I know have done, as they can't be legally married, is come up with a complete new surname and change *both* names to that

I've known straight couples who've done that too.

[zare-k.livejournal.com]

I've seen one recommendation that says to take the first name-part from one person, and the second name-part from the other, and hyphenate those. So, e.g., Jane Smith-Balderdash and John Schnibble-Jones become John and Jane Smith-Jones.

[cellio]

Jane Smith-Balderdash and John Schnibble-Jones become John and Jane Smith-Jones

That's the benign option of the two, yes. :-)

[magid.livejournal.com]

What, John and Jane Schnibble-Balderdash doesn't work for you? :-)

[cellio]

That depends entirely on whether they're planning to have kids. :-) (Hey, as an adult I'd rather have the interesting name, but five-year-olds can be awfully cruel.)

[ralphmelton.livejournal.com]

Here's google's cache of Miss Manner's statement on the issue (which doesn't actually answer your question of common practice):
http://216.239.57.100/search?q=cache:u_kY2KwhOcMJ:www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/advice/chi-0302190047feb19,0,1319892.column%3Fcoll%3Dchi-leisureadvice-col+miss+manners+hyphenated+last+name&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

It's funny. I'm proud of my mother's hyphenated name, but I'm glad they didn't hyphenate mine. Some of the kids here have really long names.

[arib.livejournal.com]

Mom wanted to hyphenate her last name after she got married, but LongJewishSurname-OtherLongJewishSurname didn't fit on any forms.

I knew a girl whose mother had the last name Brown and father had the last name Gold. They legally changed hers to Sienna.

[cellio]

Really? That's great!

[rectangularcat]

I've got a hyphenated last name and I hate it. I've been using my mom's maiden name as my common last name - having been out of touch with my dad for years when I made that decision (we're back in touch now). My dad still calls me by his last name...

Anyhow, I made the decision long ago if I were to have a child that he would have the dad's last name - this way no one on my side is upset! Now that I'm getting married, I'm seriously considering changing my last name to his - the only problem is that his last name starts with an a and is 4 letters/1 syllable long... combined with Mona it sounds brief. It would smooth over feelings on my dad's side and anyhow, Steve's family is the one that needs someone to carry over the name into a next generation... And it would resolve the problem of me showing up somewhere and not knowing what my name is (some places require my legal name and others use just my common one...)

[figmo.livejournal.com]

almeda took her husband's last name when she got married because she was tired of her hyphenated last name.

The Spanish have a proud tradition of handling long, hyphenated last names. I forget the algorithm, but they at least have one.

The one case of hyphenation I liked was one I'd heard of (friends of friends) where one's name was "Primo" and the other's was "Fine." They're now the "Primo-Fines," which makes everyone who knows them giggle.

In two cases couples I knew wound up going with a new last name. johno and chriso are one of those couples. He identified with his mother's family, and she had some ancestors with that last name, so at their ceremony, they announced their new last name to lots of whooping and cheering from his relatives. It was adorable.

Hyphenating and Other Oddities

[dagonell.livejournal.com]

My wife does not have my last name. We didn't this was a big deal. My mother, the control freak, had conniptions over it. She actually ORDERED me to ORDER my wife to change her name! I finally got her off my back by pointing out that my wife had numerous professional publications in her maiden name which was why she didn't change it (She does, but that had nothing to do with it.) It's only been the last couple of years that my mother has stopped sending holiday cards to "Mr & Mrs Salley".

I know one woman who threatened to hyphenate her maiden name with her husbands name specifically BECAUSE it wouldn't fit on computer forms! Her name would have been Rhonda Garbowski-Kolokowski!

Finally, I know a woman whose maiden name was "Bleu" (pronounce "Blue"). Her parents named her "Skye". Yes, her name was pronounced "Sky Blue". All during her teenaged years she kept saying, "I can't wait to get married and change my name." In 1976, she married James Walker! Freedom for one year! :D

Re: Hyphenating and Other Oddities

[cellio]

Kids ought to be able to seek damages against parents for names like "Skye Bleu". Yeesh.

After "Walker" turned out not to be safe, did she just give up and change her first name? Or did a lifetime of "Bleu" prep her for what would follow? (At least adults won't keep pestering you about it the way kids will. I hope.)