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Torah study
We spent a while talking about this verse this morning. We started out talking about gossip and ended up talking about whistle-blowing.
(Rashi interprets the first part as: don't be a peddler of tales, a "retailer" (I wonder who introduced the pun, him or a translator).)
We talked about how the Chofetz Chayim says that gossip harms three people: the subject, the speaker, and the listener. We talked about how a need to know can override (that's where the whistle-blower thread came from). For example, the talmud argues that if you know of evidence that would clear someone of an accuastion, you are required (under Jewish law) to testify to that effect. (The judicial system under Jewish law is very much weighted toward the defendant, in case you're wondering. It's not clear that a death sentence was ever carried out, for example.)
I asked if the talmud draws this conclusion based on the fact that "don't be a tale-bearer" and "don't stand by the blood of your neighbor" are linked in the same verse. (The rabbi said yes, that's right.)
Some people who were there didn't see the real harm in gossip; I guess it's part of current American culture. I'm with the Chofetz Chayim (though not nearly as careful as he was): spreading rumors can do a great deal of harm, and it's harm that's very hard to undo should you later determine that you were in error. It's tempting, but I try to resist. Often fail, but I try to do better.
One thing that makes gossip especially bad is that most people seem to be pre-disposed to believe what they're told; critical thinkers are in the minority, from what I've seen. One thing I've been trying to work on is to look for the positive (or at least neutral) explanation for what appears to be bad behavior. And y'know, sometimes that guess even turns out to be right. Nifty when that happens.
what is gossip?
I'm always a bit curious what people really mean by "gossip" in contexts like this. I usually think of it as "spreading unfounded rumors about other people," but I think most people see it more broadly. If one counts whistle-blowing, or offering evidence that would clear someone of an accusation, as close enough that you have to make special excetions for them, then it sounds like you're thinking of a much more general category of tale-telling.
An anthropology professor once told me that some researchers estimate that about 90% of daily human speech, across cultures and classes, is gossip. They define gossip differently, using the word to include any exchange of social information or ideas about other people (people not present for the conversation). If that's anywhere close to true, then that kind of chatter is awfully basic to people's lives.
I'm not terribly familiar with Jewish law (especially the Talmud -- I must remedy that), but from a more general ethical perspective, I wonder where one draws the line between harmless and even necessary exchanges of information, and careless or even harmful tale-telling.
It's interesting stuff to chew on. Thanks for the post!
Re: what is gossip?
So, do the laws take into account the intent of the topic?
Re: what is gossip?
Sort of. If there's a non-derogatory interpretation that can be made, you can say something ambiguous. But if it can't be interpreted as a non-derogatory statement, you're not supposed to say it even if the subject of the comment has given permission. Yes, this can be inconvenient; I've also relied on the rumor mill to spread something around that I'd rather not deal with directly. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Re: what is gossip?
Halacha (Jewish law) recognizes a couple types of potentially-harmful speech. One of these, usually translated "gossip", is lashon hara (literally "evil language"). I guess it's actually closer to "tale-bearing" than what we understand as "gossip", though I think it generally includes both.
Basically, it's forbidden to say bad things about other people, even if true and even if the person you're talking about says the same things, unless your speaking up prevents a greater wrong. For example, you are required to testify if an innocent party is accused of something you knoe someone else did. Similarly, it's somewhere between permitted and required to speak up if you know something bad and relevant about a prospective spouse or business partner. (Note that it has to be relevant, though. If you know the business partner is sloppy with money, that's one thing. If you know that he doesn't keep kosher, then assuming the business has nothing to do with food, you probably can't say it.) Whistle-blowing would presumably be governed by these same considerations.
Aside: even if permitted or required to pass on negative information, you still have to do it as privately as possible. You tell the businessman about his prospective partner's embezzlement history; you don't tell CNN.
Speech is considered lashon hara if it would make the other person look bad, if it would harm him (financially or otherwise), or if it would embarrass him. In fact, the talmud likens embarrassing someone to murder, though it's not actually a capital crime the way murder is. But this is the talmud's attempt to convey the severity of the issue.
Motzi shem ra is slander, false derogatory statements. That's even worse.
There's a story (maybe chassidic; not sure) about a man who has slandered someone else. He goes to his rabbi and asks how he can attone. The rabbi tells him to take his largest feather pillow to the public square, slit it open, and wave it around until the feathers are liberally distributed, and then to come back. The man does this and returns to the rabbi, who now tells him "now collect every last feather". The man protests that this is impossible, and the rabbi says "as with the feathers, so too with your words".
Note that I'm describing an abstract ideal here; most people don't achieve this level of restraint. I certainly don't. But I'm aware of the issues enough to think about these things before speaking at least some of the time.
Feather parable