cellio | Jewish geeking

I talked with my rabbi tonight and he said I should just go ahead and assign the parts for the service in a couple weeks, rather than giving him a list of names like we've done in the past. That makes things easier, but I hadn't known whether he wanted anyone else doing it.

I also talked with the new cantorial intern tonight. She seems really nice and easy to work with. She asked me to fill her in on how services work when there aren't any rabbis, and I did so. I told her she should pick whatever music she wants; I'm not going to try to dictate to her. We'll have a little huddle 20 minutes before the service to make sure everyone understands cues and it'll all be good. (I warned her that while I'm not new to the congregation like she is, I am new to being worship chair and she should let me know if she sees any problems.)

The rabbis will actually be gone for two Shabbats (that one and the next). The plan had been for the worship committee to lead one and the cantorial intern to lead the other. She told me tonight that she's a little uneasy about that, being new to the congregation and never having led a full service. I told her we have people who can lead a service cold (including myself) if need be and she should think about it and let me know what parts she wants to offload. We can decide this at close to the last minute, after she's had a chance to settle in a bit more. (I've already lined up a torah reader and am working on someone to give the d'var torah, so she doesn't have to do those.)

The torah portion is coming along well. I have one verse left to work out; I got to it (after working on this for a while) tonight, saw that it started with a trope symbol I don't know how to sing, and decided that this was as good a time as any to pause. I'll come at that fresh on Shabbat, when I plan to spend a lot of time working on this. But hey, I read the previous two verses without having to consult the trope book, so I'm definitely internalizing the more common symbols. I can currently chant about half of the portion from the unpointed text, and all but one verse of the rest from the pointed text (sometimes with hesitation). It's often flowing well. I think I'm in good shape for a service that's two weeks away. My rabbi will want to hear me chant it when I see him next week, and my goal is to have it nailed by then.

This morning's mini-class (after minyan) was on tevila, aka immersion in a mikvah (ritual bath). The rabbi talked mostly about laws and customs for women (monthly) and a bit on men (there are times when men are supposed to do this too). He also talked about how this is part of conversion. (He didn't talk about dishes until I asked about it. You're supposed to dunk new dishes before using them, but lots of people don't know that.)

When talking about conversion he said that Reform rabbis don't require tevila, and I corrected him and said that some Reform rabbis don't. Some do. One of many reasons that I ruled out a particular rabbi when I was looking was that he did not require tevila. Now let's think about this: without it, many rabbis (including pretty much all Conservative ones) will consider the conversion invalid. (Orthodox aren't a factor here; they generally won't accept any non-Orthodox conversions.) Tevila isn't a big deal; it's just a dunk (well, three dunks) in a pool. Conversion is a long process involving (usually) years of study, reflection, soul-searching, and critical evaluation by one's rabbi. Why in the world would someone risk the acceptance of the final results by omitting one non-threatening ritual step? And yet, people do. So long as you stay within the Reform movement maybe it doesn't matter, but as soon as you go to a Conservative shul, you have potential problems.

Mind, this isn't to say that Conservative will necessarily accept one's conversion with tevila, but without it they almost certainly won't. A mailing list I'm on recently had a long thread on another key factor, that being acceptance of mitzvot. It was an interesting thread, but I'm not going to try to summarize it right now. Maybe later.

And, apropos of nothing, a gentile I know seems to be thinking about Judaism (very early stages). I had some very supportive and helpful friends back when I was exploring, and I hope I can provide the appropriate level of support now from the other side (that is, neither pushy nor aloof).

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I never really got the whole dishes thing. I'm still not sure that isn't an entrenched but ultimately redundant minhag. It is not generally mandated in the Conservative movement, to the best of my knowledge.

Do you mean dunking dishes, or the whole bit with separate dishes? Separate dishes (of non-porous materials) does strike me as redundant, but I'll admit I do it anyway.

It looked like most people attending the breakfast didn't even visit the mikvah for themselves, let alone for their dishes. No judgement -- just an observation. (And definitely not a "frummer than thou" thing; I've been to the mikvah only once.)

Separate dishes (of non-porous materials) does strike me as redundant, but I'll admit I do it anyway.

It is redundant, but it does help keep other (non-redundant) things separate. If the blue dishes are meat, then that means that the silverware on the blue dishes are meat... if the blue dishes could be either, then it takes a bit more attention and processing to figure out what's OK.

That's pretty much the reason I do it. Having separate stuff helps me remain mindful of separation issues for the stuff that really matters.

Dunking new dishes. I think the Conservative ruling is that this isn't necessary, but I may be overstating the case.

My wife uses the mikvah, but it is definitely very much a minority practice in Conservative Judaism. However, I think it is making a very small bit of a comeback. And it can't hurt for the orthodox folks to know that some non-Orthodox people do these things too. Gotta represent!

Why in the world would someone risk the acceptance of the final results by omitting one non-threatening ritual step?

Is it really non-threatening? The woman has to be naked in a pool of water with at least 3 people (the Beth Din) present - many of whom are probably men. And someone has to watch her to make sure that the dunks are good. Now, I understand that if there are men on the Beth Din, then they're not actually watching or anything, but I can see how it could be unsettling. And then add to that the fact that most Mikvas aren't run by Reform organizations. (In fact, I think that there aren't that many Conservative Mikvas. I think most are Orthodox or non-affiliated community institutions). So there's an added factor of will the Mikveh let the Reform Rabbis use their facility.

Having said that, I should point out that I actually think that Mikveh is important, but I can understand why some Reform Rabbis might take the stance of "If they want a Conservative/Ortho conversion, they wouldn't have come to me, so why make it more complicated than it has to be".

I was assuming a situation where a mikvah is available and the candidate declines, but I see that I failed to actually say that. I'm also assuming that the sponsoring rabbi makes the arrangements for use of the mikvah, so it's not like the candidate has to call the scary Orthodox mikvah people and make an appointment for a Reform beit din or the like.

The laws of modesty forbid men from observing female candidates directly. In this case, the "mikvah lady" watches you and informs the rabbis (who are waiting outside) of the goings-on. The rabbis have to hear the candidate say the blessings, but they don't have to see anything.

I can understand male candidates being squeamish about circumcission (or the proxy, hatafat dam brit, one drop of blood), but aversion to the mikvah (by men or women) still strikes me as odd. Personally, I think the biggest hurdle is the chlorine in the water. :-)

"If they want a Conservative/Ortho conversion, they wouldn't have come to me, so why make it more complicated than it has to be".

There are, of course, many other (more important) factors that distinguish the movements, principally theology. For example, it would have been wrong for me to pursue a Conservative conversion (let alone Orthodox), because my theology is Reform. But while Reform doesn't mandate practice, Reform institutions and rabbis should be able to accommodate practice. The devil is in the details, of course -- we've had an on-again, off-again argument about kashrut and the synagogue kitchen for years -- but I think it would be wrong for a rabbi to do anything (avoidable) to impede observance by his congregants. That's not the situation here; I know of no Reform rabbi who refuses a request for mikvah from a candidate. But the argument of "if they want to do halacha they should go elsewhere" is fundamentally flawed, because Reform permits observance. If it didn't, I wouldn't be there.

But the argument of "if they want to do halacha they should go elsewhere" is fundamentally flawed, because Reform permits observance. If it didn't, I wouldn't be there.

Good point.

Hey, it pays to read the comments! (in regards to which conversion you underwent...)

Cheater. :-)

But yeah, I've been told that my posts tend to atrract interesting comments (and sometimes entire dialogues), so I'd say it's worth coming back occasionally to check. :-)

I have to admit that early on in my decision re: conversion, the whole mikvah thing concerned me. But the more I read about it, and after talking to those who have done it, I wasn't the least bit intimidated on the day of my Bet Din. The mikvah was actually the part I was looking forward to! (I was VERY nervous about the Bet Din itself, even though my Rabbi kept insisting I didn't have any reason to be...but that's just the way I am. ;-)

(playing coy "in public" for now; not sure why I feel the need, although probably related to the below...)

I had some very supportive and helpful friends back when I was exploring, and I hope I can provide the appropriate level of support now from the other side (that is, neither pushy nor aloof).

"Pushy" might actually be a help; I have enough self-esteem and public anxiety issues that, when it comes down to it, I'm often just too scared to move.

That sounds familiar. :-)

Let me know how you're reacting to your current reading material, and I'll suggest or lend the next round. If you decide you'd like to attend a service (or several), I'll be happy to act as native guide. And, of course, I'm available to talk, and there might be some opportunities coming up soon that enable that in suffiently-private settings. Since you're trying to be discreet, I hesitate to be pushy in front of other people. (Feel free to clue me in privately about who's ok and who's not for overhearing such conversations.)

And, more broadly, I encourage you to experiment a bit. You won't know if something works for you unless you try it. You won't know it doesn't work from a single negative experience, though, so whatever you do -- whether it's giving thanks for meals, attending services, adopting some ritual, keeping some level of kashrut, fixing a time for prayer, or something else -- you should commit to doing it for a while before you evaluate. Oh, and don't go overboard all at once either; pick one or two of these.

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