cellio | short takes

Welcome to

siderea, aka Tibicen -- SCA person, early-music geek, and interesting writer. Apparently the Boston crowd sucked her into LJ. :-)

Last night my rabbi gave a class/discussion on mourning, funerals, etc. This was for the group of people who may be called on to lead shiva minyanim (services in a house of mourning), or who might help out those families in other ways. I didn't learn a lot that was new, but I think it was useful to pull all the information, and all the people who might need it, together. And we were given books, and books are never bad. :-)

I came home to find that there was no West Wing episode. I'm glad NBC ran a message on the bottom of the screen during the replacement show. But I was surprised: I can understand pre-empting a show for a baseball game that you're airing, but near as I can tell, they decided to pull West Wing because they didn't think it could compete with someone else's broadcast of the game. So did they think the Law & Order episode they showed could compete, or was it an old rerun and they were giving up on viewer share that night?

I wonder if Nielsen et al have changed the way they do ratings. In these days of TiVo and VCRs (often multiples), I can't believe they're only interested in people who watch the broadcast live. Yeah, we fast-forward through the commercials when time-shifting, but it seems like that's still better than not seeing them at all. So live is best, fast-forwarded is not worthless, and not watching the show at all is worthless.

We finished watching the second season of West Wing a couple nights ago. (Now we wait until April, if past performance is an indicator of future trends.) I'm impressed by this show, and the last episode of that season was very effective even though it used some techniques I normally consider cheesy. It was well-done, both in the writing and the direction. I hope the show doesn't go into a death spiral with Sorkin gone.

I went to services this morning at Tree of Life, where lulav and etrog were provided for pretty much everyone who wanted them. I still cannot hold a lulav, an etrog, and a siddur (prayer book) in a useful way. Fortunately, I'm starting to memorize the responses. :-)

My brother-in-law-once-removed [1] called tonight asking for computer advice. He said he was sitting in front of a dead machine, he had the Windows 98 CD in the drive, and how does he boot from that? This spawned several mental threads: (1) Define "dead". (2) Hey, aren't you a Mac snob? (3) Beats me, but I think Dani has done this. I opted for #3 and gave the phone to Dani. :-)

[1] My sister-in-law's husband. I know that English doesn't distinguish between Dani's sister and Dani's sister's husband in the "-in-law" thing, but it still feels weird to call him my brother-in-law when he's not related to either of us. I mean, if my brother-in-law is married to my sister-in-law, doesn't that sound just a bit too much like incest to you? It does to me.

This Shabbat is Sh'mini Atzeret (cue chorus of "what's that?"s -- goljerp did a good job with this here). In the Reform movement it's also Simchat Torah. In my congregation, this year, it's also the b'nei mitzvah of my rabbi's twins. And, due to unfortunate timing, it's also baronial investiture, a once-in-every-several-years occurrence in the local SCA group. I want to be able to spawn clones in the morning and sync memories at the end of the day, darnit!

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I don't have serious cognitive dissonance referring to my brother's wife as my sister-in-law and thinking that if I ever marry, my wife's sister will also be my sister-in-law. The problem I've got is how to refer to my brother's wife's parents. They've made it clear that they want to include my other siblings and myself in their family closely enough for me to feel I want concise words/phrases for our relationship, but I'm pretty sure mother-in-law/father-in-law won't fly here.

It took me quite a while to figure out the whole family relationship thing and it does sound incestuous..

I would have said, Dani's Brother in law or my husband's brother in law.

Now you have me wondering what the proper French equivalents are.

Apparently the Boston crowd sucked
??? That doesn't sound like Monica
her into LJ
Ohh...

I still cannot hold a lulav, an etrog, and a siddur (prayer book) in a useful way.

You're not the only one. It helps if there's something you can lean it on! (During the hoshanot I don't bother; I just say "hoshiah nah" at the right points; during Hallel I put down the siddur when I thrash the foliage about. Which reminds me, I've got to go to services soon if I don't want to miss Hallel!)

I want to be able to spawn clones in the morning and sync memories at the end of the day, darnit!

Just make sure you use a Kiln that's OU-OK. (reference: Kiln People)

I don't have serious cognitive dissonance referring to my brother's wife as my sister-in-law and thinking that if I ever marry, my wife's sister will also be my sister-in-law.

I don't have problems with either of those, either. They're both relations of the same degree -- two steps removed. (Me -> sibling -> spouse or me -> spouse -> sibling.) It's when you add another step, without changing the terminology, that I do a double-take (me -> spouse -> sibling -> spouse, or me -> sibling -> spouse -> sibling).

The problem I've got is how to refer to my brother's wife's parents.

That's a challenge, yes. I suppose you could say "my brother's in-laws", or just "[brother's wife]'s family".

You're not the only one. It helps if there's something you can lean it on!

During the parts of Hallel where we were just holding (not shaking) the lulav and etrog, I sort of balanced the siddur on my fore-arm (with help from my torso). For the parts that required motion I just set the book down and sang the parts I knew from memory (and the responses, which are just repetitions of what you've already heard). Like you, for the hoshanot I didn't try to use the siddur.

Just make sure you use a Kiln that's OU-OK.

I haven't read Kiln People yet (though I certainly had it in mind when I wrote that), but I'm willing to bet that the book is utterly silent on the issue of hechshers for kilns. :-)

How about *four* steps removed?? My wife's brother is Garth, his wife was Sue. Every Christmas, Sue's mother Mary makes literally hundreds of cookies so she can give a dozen (all different!) to each family member. I used to get a plate of cookies because "You're family." This is my wife's brother's wife's mother. When Garth and Sue got divorced, the cookies stopped. I guess we were no longer family. :)

During the parts of Hallel where we were just holding (not shaking) the lulav and etrog, I sort of balanced the siddur on my fore-arm (with help from my torso).

I'm able to hold the (old, fat) Sim Shalom in one hand and my Lulav/Etrog in the other for these bits, but it's not too comfortable. What's best is when you can stand next to someone you like who doesn't have a Lulav, and they hold the book for you. Joy did that for me last Sunday. :-)

but I'm willing to bet that the book is utterly silent on the issue of hechshers for kilns. :-)

Umm... Actually it's subtle, but hekshers for kilns do show up. It's a minor and subtle enough point that I don't think this comment will ruin it for you, but you'll probably notice the reference when you see it (although I'm sure that many people will just blip over it).

Brin seems to like putting subtle Jewish stuff into his books on occasion... like the fact that the star in The Uplift War is named "GimmelHai". (Basically "GH" in Hebrew; probably doesn't mean anything since most Hebrew words have 3-letter roots, but then again my hebrew is lousy - is gimmel hey a word?)

Oh, heck -- you're not getting into the *difficult* "in-law" problems. Consider this: my grandparents were all close friends while they were all still alive. But how would my father's parents define their relationship to my mother's parents after my parents split? (I don't think they ever even tried to come up with a term, actually.)

And yes, Dad was still taking Mom's parents out for Thanksgiving dinner, fifteen years after the divorce. One trait I like about my family is a tendency to be disturbingly reasonable...

There is a group of folk to whom I refer as my "in-law-in-laws": those to whom I'm related through my sister's husband. Thus, my sister's brother-in-law is my brother-in-law-in-law.

The terminology was made necessary by the fact that I see these people on a regular basis, so it's a common occurrance that I have to refer to them. So, for instance, the answer to "who blew shofar?" is often "my brother-in-law-in-law, Bill."

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In-laws, Out-laws, and Terminology