Sunday

[cellio]

Sunday afternoon I went to that interfaith gathering. There were (at peak) 27 people there. It was moderated by the sole Baha'i. I was the only Jew; there were 7 or 8 Muslims (including Farooq Husseini and his wife, a pleasant surprise), two Quakers, I think one Buddhist, one person who said he was both Hindu and Christian (?), one or two others (specifics forgotten), and the rest Roman Catholics. Yes, there really were no non-RC Christians there, except that Hindu. One of the Muslims was a convert who had previously been a Methodist, but that's as close as we got to Protestants.

I had talked with the organizer (one of the Roman Catholics) on the phone between the planning meeting and this session, and I told her that I wouldn't be continuing with the meetings but I would attend this specific session. So I was a bit taken aback when she introduced me as the newest member of the planning committee. I failed to meet her gaze across the circle at that point. I was willing to chalk it up to flightiness at the time.

The moderator passed around a handout that consisted of the "Our Father" in transliterated Aramaic (or so he said) and, line by line, seven or eight translations, some of them rather creative. (I didn't bring the handout home, so I can't cite specifics. But you know the ultra-"creative" readings that sometimes show up in prayer books where you might have expected a translation? Stuff like that.) Anyway, he said he was passing this out as a possible conversation seed, but he was the only person who ever referred to it. I thought it was poor form to choose something Jesus-centered as his opening position. (And yes, it was very much about "Jesus said this", not "here's a reasonable prayer anyone might utter".)

After he talked vaguely for a couple minutes and distributed the handout, he called for a minute or two of silent prayer -- to help us gather our thoughts for the discussion, he said, though he hadn't framed the topic very well and people asked him to clarify, which he didn't really do. I sat there and twiddled my mental thumbs; as I've said before, random prayer like this, absent a specific reason, doesn't really work for me. Also, while they had removed the big cross from this space-that-used-to-be-a-church, I would have felt uncomfortable really praying in what was still pretty clearly a Christian space. (I assume it had been de-consecrated, but I didn't ask.)

There was some general discussion of prayer after that, in the big circle. It was mostly "what prayer means to me", and it was low on intellectual (as opposed to affective) content. Given the numbers present, I was really hoping to hear more about Muslim views of prayer, but the Hindu/Christian, the Baha'i, and a few of the Christians dominated the conversation and I learned very little. The Baha'i either doesn't really have a theology or can't articulate it, and the Hindu/Christian struck me as confused. Both had a high word-count to content ratio.

The leader then called for us to break into small groups and discuss times when prayer had touched us personally in some way -- but first, let's have some more silent prayer to get in the mood. Once we got up to move around, I began looking for a Muslim, determined to get into a group with one. The organizer found me first and asked if we could be in a group together; since there was no polite way to say no to her I said ok so long as we got a Muslim. She then grabbed the Hindu/Christian, which in my opinion doomed our group, but there was nothing I could do.

I didn't talk about personal experiences, nor did the Muslim. (I just met these people; I'm not that open.) I made a comment about the silent-prayer stuff (that Jews don't really do things that way as a matter of course), and the organizer asked me to explain Jewish prayer. This was something I thought I could contribute to, but she and the Hindu/Christian got off onto a side topic before I could say very much. I talked about the t'filah (the central prayer) and how it breaks down into praise, petitions (on behalf of the community), and thanks, and they laughed when I said that we omit the petitions on Shabbat because God is entitled to a Sabbath too.

Mostly, though, the organizer and the Hindu/Christian dominated our group without saying very much. Pity. The Muslim said a few words about Islam meaning submitting to God, but she didn't talk about practice. She seemed like a smart person (she was the convert, so she's probably pretty educated), but she didn't get to talk much. I considered asking her for an email address, but didn't. There's a difference between striking up a conversation with someone who happens to be there and seeking someone out afterwards, after all.

We re-formed the large circle, a few people brought up points from the small groups, and the leader called for -- you guessed it -- silent prayer before breaking up. They distributed fliers for the next session, which will be a Quaker healing service. (Hey, fliers!) I'm not interested in that, but I took a flier to pass on to someone from my congregation who I think will be interested.

I chatted briefly with Farooq Husseini, who has done some interfaith work with my rabbi. He had very good things to say about my rabbi and asked me to say hi for him, which I will do later this week. I said I hoped he, my rabbi, and a local minister would repeat the joint lectures they did a couple years ago, which I had missed at the time. I think they're working on it, if I understood him correctly.

The organizer approached me to tell me about the next planning meeting, and I said something like "as I told you on the phone, I am not the right person for this group". She then said "well you're the only Jew, so if you quit you have to find me another one". Now, I don't know if that was an attempt at humor or not, but I think it was poor form. So I said "well, I don't have to do anything, but I will convey your request to my congregation". Someone else who was standing there said "she's praying that you'll find someone" and we all laughed, diffusing that.

I talked with my rabbi last week about this group. I said I wasn't interested in being involved; he suggested that I bring it up at the worship committee meeting (next week) to see if anyone is both interested and sufficiently patient, and if not we'd just punt. For all I know there might be someone on the committee who fits that description, and if so I'm happy to see it go forward with a representative from our congregation. But not me. :-) There are just too many things about it that make me uncomfortable, but I'll readily admit that others might not have these issues.

In the evening we had a very pleasant dinner at ralphmelton's and lorimelton's house. Lots of good conversation; I enjoy spending time with this group of people. The cats were better-behaved than usual; I guess Louie was under the weather. :-)

Comments

[murmur311.livejournal.com]

you have considerably more patience than i would have. i don't deal well with inter-faith things, even when i was nominally still involved in the catholic church. it always ends up as a forum for the christians to tell everyone else about how they pray and view god and not the other way around. and i think the comment from the organizer about you finding her another jew would've set my temper over the edge.

[cellio]

I have seen Christians participate in true dialogue without being pushy (some of them might even be reading this :-) ), so I was willing to give this group a try. These particular Christians, in fact, weren't really pushy per se; it's more that they had blinders and had never really considered that other people might see things differently. I don't judge all of Christianity by this group, though. I've seen better, and I've also seen much much worse. As with any group, there's a spectrum.

The organizer's comment, though, was completely out of line. If someone else from my congregation goes to their next meeting and she behaves badly to that person too, I'd say that's a sign that she's not really as interested in dialogue as she would like to believe she is.

Or maybe it's just that our styles clash; I don't know. You know that old maxim that "if you want to get something done, give it to a busy person"? These people are really not busy, but I am -- so maybe my get-to-the-point goal-oriented approach is just not what this group wants. Several people made comments about getting to know each other better; that is not my goal. I don't object to getting to know people, of course (waves to half my LJ friends list...), but it has to grow out of common interests. I'm not looking for lots of new casual friends just for the sake of having friends; I will naturally become friends with the people I interact with who share my interests. And I don't think the members of this group and I share many interests -- a couple individuals maybe, but not the group as a whole.