interviewed by cecerose

[cellio]

1. One of your major "gripes" about your fellow Jews in the Reform movement is that how unsupportive (and at times hostile) they are of those within the movement who choose to be more religiously observant. Why do you think that is?

Some people identify culturally, but not religiously, as Jews; they want to be able to say "I'm a Jew" but without the burden of mitzvot or believing in God or the like. Some of them gravitate to Reform congregations -- for things like school for their kids, not because they want to attend services. They know that non-observance is accepted by the Reform movement, so they don't think they have to worry about people questioning them on kashrut issues at potlucks or tsk-tsking them for going to a movie on Saturday afternoon or whatever. They see Reform as "freedom from religion".

Now add people who do take religion a little more seriously but believe that traditional observance is "outdated". They will have a lot in common, on an outward basis, with the secular Jews above.

Now along comes someone who appears to be more traditional. For the secular Jew this is inconvenient, but for the modernist this is a threat. I have heard lots of people in this group complain that we're becoming "too Orthodox" if we do more prayers in Hebrew or ask people to not bring meat/milk mixtures to potlucks. For them, the Orthodox are the enemy, and they do not distinguish practice from theology. (Most have probably not even spent a lot of time thinking about the question.) To them, traditional observance is sort of like someone deliberately returning to pre-modern values like subjugation of women. It doesn't matter if that isn't true; it's a visceral reaction. Or so it appears to me, anyway. The people I've talked to seem completely unable to comprehend that someone might willingly choose to keep kosher or walk to shul or the like.

2. Both the reform and the reconstructionist movements hold that religious observance of halacha is nonbinding and voluntary -- what I find troubling is that lay reform and reconstructionist Jews often don't have enough of background to make meaningful choices. Do you see this as a problem?

Yes, it's a problem. I think it's something that's getting better; with the current swing toward tradition comes increased education, including for adults. But it's a challenge, and in practice only a very small number of Jews will put in the effort to approach this intelligently.

It's not a huge problem, though, because I think most of the rest wouldn't have "done religion" anyway, so this approach doesn't lure people away from practice. I think those who want to practice will practice, and ask questions as needed, and those who don't want to will avail themselves of the "I don't have to" excuse.

I'd actually be happier if my movement were, say, a fifth its current size but with five times as many people taking these questions seriously. Any outcome is fine but I'd love it if more people would make the effort and could articulate their positions.

3. How did you get involved in gaming? What do you enjoy most about it? (I've tried, Lord knows, I've tried and my character is currently riding around in someone's sack.)

I assume from your parenthetical comment that you'e mostly talking about role-playing games. I started playing D&D -- badly -- with a group of friends. We were all social-outcast geeks anyway and this sounded cool to several of us, so why not? We bumbled along but never really connected with experienced players. I hooked up with other players in college and played in some games then. I also got into the SCA in college, and found that there was high overlap among SCA people, D&D players, and my circle of geeky friends.

At this point, gaming is something I do with friends because it's an activity we all enjoy. I haven't sought out strangers to play with since college, and I've never played at conventions or competitions. I think I see it as primarily a social activity, so I naturally want to do it with people I like to socialize with.

As for what I enjoy about gaming itself, I think it's the chance to experiment with a character who isn't me in a world that isn't mine. Even if my characters often bear a striking resemblence to me, I can at least try. It's a creative outlet, but in a shared environment so I get help from other people.

4. Describe your favorite childhood comfort food.

Hmm, that's tough. There were several. Grilled-cheese sandwiches (unadultrated with other ingredients such as tomatoes) and cream-of-tomato soup often filled this role. So did baked ham-and-cheese sandwiches -- take a bun, load it up with thinly-sliced ham, american cheese, mustard, relish, and onions, wrap it all in foil, and stick it in the oven until gooey. No, I don't know where that came from. (Obviously, I haven't had this in rather a while...)

And then, of course, there was chocolate. I had a pretty serious sweet tooth. :-)

5. If you were given a year long all expense scholarship for Jewish study, where would you go?

Assuming I could qualify for admission (a pretty big assumption, but so's the funding :-) ), the Jerusalem campus of Hebrew Union College (the Reform seminary). Part of this is a cop-out, though; no Orthodox institution would take a woman interested in the rabbinate, which rules out most formal learning programs, and I don't think I'd gain much from the material that is traditionally taught to Orthodox women. So that means that if it's a formal program it's connected with one of the other movements, and of those Reform speaks most clearly to me.

Comments

Reform Jews

[blumindy.livejournal.com]

Hello Miss Monica
I am also a Reform Jew who has turned more traditional in recent years.
I have quite the problem with it because the rest of my family thinks I'm nuts.
I sometimes (though I know I shouldn't) refer to the synagogue in which my mother was raised and my parents were married as "St. Sinai by the Sea." (It's actually near Lake Michigan, not the ocean......)
My mother has always freaked out at the addition of ANY Hebrew to ANYTHING. My brother goes out to eat with our Rabbi and the Rabbi dares him to eat pork in front of him, which brother happily does. Oh, did I mention that by brother is president of our Temple board?
I still remember the former Rabbi here getting up during services and patting himself on the back (at about age 60) from giving up eating traife and encouraging others to do likewise.
My oldest daughter is the same age as our current Rabbi's youngest daughter and they are friends. The first time I invited this girl to sleep over, her mom asked what I was serving. When I told her, she started to clarify that they keep kosher. She was shocked when I told her that my kids and I do, too.
The list goes on but my point here is that I'm puzzled at what exactly it means to be a Reform Jew. By my very nature, or so it seems, I never seem to fit in anywhere and I don't just mean religiously. I've actually pulled back somewhat from the Conserv-odox pattern I was following a few years ago.
I just had a discussion with my mother on the topics of my oldest daughter's coming Bat Mitzvah and "The Passion." She admires my position that if people are going to hate us, my kids darn well better know all about being what other people hate. I've experienced religious prejudice all my life and it seems that my response to it has been to become far more religious. Does this seem strange? I'm curious as to why you became more religious (those sandwiches sound strange and like something my mom would love.) In the past, I've had to deal with my mom trying to feed my kids pork. She refuses to really accept these changes in me. When questioned, she *insists* that she and my dad are Jews. I know that the Jew-haters would kill them as Jews in a heartbeat but what does it mean when a Jew becomes so secular as to be indistinguishable from any goy on the street? Maybe this will make more sense when I'm less tired?

[dmnsqrl.livejournal.com]

Occasionally since I've started reading your journal I've found myself wishing that I could join a helpfully (but never in 'real life' ;) labelled 'Reform Catholicism' parish where I could be the crazy lady who continues to carry out some of the more conservative practices through choice :)

[goljerp]

the Jerusalem campus of Hebrew Union College

It's a very pretty campus. I spent a small amount of time there during my year in Israel; a group of Reconstructionist rabbinical students had a minyan on Shabbat every month or so, and HUC kindly let them have some space on the campus. (At the time I was there, the Reconstructionist seminary required a "year in Israel", but didn't have a formal program, so students studied at other programs.)

So that means that if it's a formal program it's connected with one of the other movements

That's not entirely the case. There are places like the Pardes Institute in Jerusalem or Drisha in New York City which provide the opportunity for non-denominational jewish studies. (A quick look to a friend's website who is currently at Drisha reveals a different program in Boston.)

[jonbaker.livejournal.com]

This impetus towards traditional observance leads me to wonder why you converted Reform. Regardless of the official stance of the movement, the social reality in this country is that Reform, and to a lesser extent Conservative, do not congregationally encourage traditional observance. Depending on the synagogue, of course - I've known traditionalist Reform rabbis (R' Irving J Block a"h) and Conservative synagogues which pressure their rabbis to be less observant.

As for what is "traditionally" taught to Orthodox women, vs. what is required for rabbinate or similar curricula, there are institutions that teach material similar to that required for rabbinic training, such as Matan, Drisha, Nishmat, Pardes, Bruriah (most in Israel; Drisha in NYC, Matan I think is in Boston) - but they presume, as do Orthodox rabbinical schools, extensive background in Hebrew, Tanach and Halacha/Talmud. They also presume that one is Jewish by Orthodox standards. IOW, you'd have a lot of catching up to do to get up to the level where you could seriously think about such training.

Between these programs, and the new minyanim such as Shira Chadasha in J'lem and Darchei Noam or Montauk Minyan in New York, you could find outlets for your religio-intellectual and liturgical interests within a lefty-Orthodox milieu. Even Conservative, particularly if you avoided the pulpit, but stuck to educational positions, could be a context for this. But I don't see Reform satisfying you in the long run. And in either case, you'd have to "upgrade" your conversion.

[jducoeur]

The people I've talked to seem completely unable to comprehend that someone might willingly choose to keep kosher or walk to shul or the like.

I'm not at all surprised. Most people just don't understand the value of formalism as a means of understanding a subject more deeply.

As an analogy, the same is true of poetry. Most folks don't grok why you would want to work in sonnet form, with all its restrictions on rhyme and meter. But many serious poets love they way it helps you focus, and really understand your writing better.

This is also true of dance -- most people don't understand the appeal of doing dance carefully and precisely in the SCA's social context, but the hardcore dance geeks love it. Indeed, it's probably true of most forms of human endeavor.

The issue seems to be depth. People who are into a subject deeply are often strongly attracted to formalisms, as a way of helping focus on that subject and in some sense to do it "well". This is often mysterious to those who are relatively shallowly into the subject, who don't understand why you would go to so much effort for an unnecessary straightjacket.