leading services

[cellio]

I've been wondering about this for a while: how do clergy pray? Not "what mechanics do they use" or "do they pray privately" or anything like that, but rather, how do clergy who are leading services set aside the stage-management aspects enough to be able to actually pray? Or do they mostly give up, on the theory that the officiant doesn't get to personally connect while doing so?

Of course it's not always this or always that, but I do sometimes wonder, when watching my rabbi, whether he gets out of the service anywhere near as much as I do as a mere participant. When I have been the leader, I've noticed varying degrees of this, from being purely a stage manager to being just one of the daveners. It depends on the formality of the setting, my connection to the other people there, and -- somewhat -- on the presence of microphones. (I feel that a mike fundamentally changes your role with respect to the other people. That one time I was leading services at Tree of Life during a power outage, I was actually glad that we were forced to all work together a little harder. And it's not like I can't make myself heard in a moderate-sized room...)

In our Shabbat morning minyan, the service practically runs itself and if the rabbi has to leave early we just keep going. This Shabbat that happened (unexpectedly); he looked at me and said "torah service?", I said "yes", and I led it while he left. (The torah reader, who would normally get dibs on this, had a sore throat and was trying to conserve word-count.) No problems there. When, last summer, the worship committee jointly led a Friday-night service (both rabbis were out of town), I spent the service feeling like I was herding cats and didn't really pray. (This is not a comment on the other people; it is a comment on the nature of group efforts.) Another time I and one other very-competent person led the Friday service and it went better, but I was still mindful of the fact that I was up on a bima with a mike in front of a congregation that wasn't fully participating. I think, though I haven't done it yet, that when I lead shacharit services at Tree of Life I'll just be one of the louder daveners, and that'll be kind of neat. Of course, I'm also confident that if I mis-step, half a dozen people will jump in to correct me. :-)

But to an extent, every person leading a service is paying attention to some meta-issues. How are we doing for time? Is the person with the next aliya ready to walk up here? What happened to the person who's supposed to read the announcements when I'm done with this prayer? Do we read tachanun today? And so on. I find myself wondering how often people who make a career of this really pray, as opposed to leading prayer. And while I'm talking here about Jewish prayer, I imagine the question generalizes to other religions.

Occasionally my rabbi and I will be the only ones who show up for a weekday service. (This happened this past week.) When that happens we just drop into Hebrew and go, independently for the Amidah per tradition rather than in unison as is common in the Reform movement. And he always thanks me for the opportunity when we're done.

One of these days I'll get around to asking my rabbi about this. I'll probably ask this summer during the sh'liach k'hilah program, too. It would be pretty frustrating if the people who are so committed to religion that they're willing to make a career of it are the ones who are least likely to be able to pray effectively during services!

Comments

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

I can relate. Once upon a time I was called upon to provide flute music for some Yom Kippur services (obviously reform) through CMU Hillel. And while I enjoyed the experience as a performer, I felt a tad deprived of the Yom Kippur experience to which I was accustomed.

On the other hand, whenever I have led a prayer in front of a congregation I have felt the same connection that I had sitting in my seat. But then, I have never had to run the whole thing, so perhaps that doesn't prove anything.

Perhaps that is why there are committees to take over the 'herding cats' aspects of synagogue business, so the rabbi can give over more of his/her mind to the prayers and connection with God. Perhaps the 'herding cats' aspects become second nature to a rabbi and no longer interfere with the rabbi's experience as a davener after a while.

On the other hand, maybe there's something else to be gotten out of it. It's a mitzvah to provide an opportunity for someone else to do a mitzvah, to say "Amen" to another Jew's prayer, and to pray so that other Jews can say "Amen." So maybe the 'herding cats' aspects become another type of worship, and give another feeling of connection. At least, I like to think so.

I think I will ask my rabbi what she thinks of this question. Do I have your permission to quote you in my email to her?

[mrpeck.livejournal.com]

I wonder about that a bit as well. From my limited experience, I know that I can become distracted if I'm on the altar for some reason. I've been so distracted by (usually worrying about) whatever job I have to do that I lose track of what is going on. I've also gone the other way and become so engrossed in the service that I have forgotten that I'm supposed to be doing a job. I suspect that the rarity of the situation affects this. I am not in a position that places me up there for any length of time. I suspect that those who lead services regularly eventually develop patterns so there are times when they can function more as leaders and times when they can bring themselves deeper into prayer.

[aliza250.livejournal.com]

I'd like to forward this to my father (Retired C Rabbi); I'm curious what he would have to say about the subject.

Personally, I've never gotten the kavanah out of leading services that I do from praying; during the Torah service at Naamah's Bat Mitzva I was a combination of nervous about my own Aliyah (my first in many years, and my first ever in a "real" shul) and proud of all the family members who helped celebrate the occasion.

BTW, your comment about you and your rabbi praying together in Hebrew when it's just the two of you at services reminds me of the time that I was the only one to show up for an exercise class; the instructor and I had a great workout that would not have been possible if members not ready to graduate from the "exercise for sedentary blobs" classes had been present.

It's also similar to the feeling kids have the first time they're moved up into the Gifted classes...

[cafemusique.livejournal.com]

From discussions with one of our our ministers, I think she's come to the conclusion that there is too much going on to be able to worship effectively while leading. I know that she deals with some of that from other occasions to worship: occasionally sitting in the congregation of another denomination's mid-week service, or when she's at a conference that has worship.

I also encounter the same type of thing as an organist. I'm too busy thinking "what's the next piece of music?" "is it on piano or organ?" "when should I move to the other instrument?" "does the person leading the psalm remember that there's a sung refrain this morning?" etc., etc., ad nauseum.

In other places, there's often been a service with no music (or a service with music for which I wasn't responsible) earlier in the morning, which I've used to worship, before I help others to worship. When I can (which isn't often), I go to a said service here at a church down the street (where I grew up). That said, it's not entirely satisfactory, as I find there's something really missing without the music. Makes me wish I was in a city, where I could find a church which offered Evensong in the afteroon or something, so I could get that aspect in my own worship.

Not sure exactly how much any of this will transfer between the faiths, but there it is...

[sethg]

Personally, I think my kavannah is actually better when I'm leading a service, but that's probably a sign of how bad my kavannah is most of the time ... the feeling of obligation to the whole community, not just myself, makes me take my job a little more seriously.

There's a great short story, "Neilah in Gehenna" -- I can't remember the author's name, unfortunately -- that touches on a chazzan's relationship to his community. I don't want to say more about it because I don't want to give away the ending, but look for it.

(I feel that a mike fundamentally changes your role with respect to the other people. That one time I was leading services at Tree of Life during a power outage, I was actually glad that we were forced to all work together a little harder. And it's not like I can't make myself heard in a moderate-sized room...)

David Mamet wrote an essay called "Against Amplification", where he told actors that if they can't make themselves heard clearly in a thousand-seat auditorium, they don't belong on stage.

But to an extent, every person leading a service is paying attention to some meta-issues. How are we doing for time? Is the person with the next aliya ready to walk up here? What happened to the person who's supposed to read the announcements when I'm done with this prayer? Do we read tachanun today? And so on.

In almost every Orthodox shul I've davened in, there's a division of labor between the ba`al tefillah, who davens, and the gabbai, who picks people for aliyot. (And Artscroll, which tells us whether or not we're saying tachanun. :-) Do Reform congregations not have this?

[goljerp]

That's a good question.

I have a feeling that for a Rabbi, some of it comes down to practice: you get to a point where you concentrate on your own amidah, and do it quickly, and then come up for air and start worrying about the other stuff.

I don't lead services, but I am a coordinator for my minyan right now, and so I'm responsible (or meta-responsible) for a lot of the mechanics of the services. I certainly don't get to pay as much attention to the Torah service as I'd like when I'm "in charge", because I'm aware (and worrying) about the fact that the person who's reading the 6th aliyah hasn't shown up yet, and wondering who to give the various honors to, and also keeping track of time because the kiddush coordinator needs a hand or two setting things up... I'm glad that I've been able to help out my minyan, but there are aspects of being in charge that I won't miss when my term ends in October.

[ichur72.livejournal.com]

Personally, I believe it would be very difficult for me to be in a position of leading the congregation. I don't generally go to shul except for Shabbos; I daven at home, have a couple of spots where I usually stand, etc. It's much easier to concentrate there. I like to go to shul on Shabbos, esp. to hear the leyning, but frankly I find it harder to daven there.

Total tangent...

[magid.livejournal.com]

Years ago, I was a gabbai, which played into my natural tendencies towards using time well, making sure there was a minyan as on time as I could make it, and that things flowed smoothly, at a good pace, also setting up for kiddush :-). And in reading the other replies to your post, I think I've figured out some of what is making it harder for me to daven with a minyan these days: I know I could do a much better job (if there weren't mechitzah issues and suchlike). When I first started going to this minyan, there were excellent gabbaim, and there has been a real slide in quality the last five years, unfortunately. So my personal davening doesn't work as well when the gabbaim aren't doing their jobs.

From what I remember of when I used to lead services (half a lifetime ago), I wasn't able to focus on davening as well when I was leading, but some of that was definitely a function of (lack of) age and experience.