cellio | Thursday

Today has been a long day, so this entry will be briefer than the last few. I'll try to pick up some of the omissions later (after Shabbat). I'll give priority to things people ask about in comments.

The schedule is catching up with all of us. Some people are getting tense, to the point where after tonight's final class, when things had been somewhat rowdier than usual, we got a lecture on remaining respectful of the teachers. I think they really, really need to rethink some of their decisions for next year. Specifically:

The day is scheduled from 8:15AM to 9:15PM, with very short gaps that do not always account for travel time between buildings.
Meals, in addition to sometimes being short, are sometimes stacked with program items. During breakfast we spend about half an hour reviewing the previous two services, giving feedback to the leaders. In addition, each group leading a service has to meet several times, including with a staff advisor who isn't necessarily available at 10PM. So that happens during meals.
Things often run late, so the 15-minute break on paper vanishes.
The dorm with the TV and the comfy lounge is locked at 10PM. The dorm we're in has no large communal space. (Each floor has a poorly-lit area with a couple couches.)
Contact with the outside world is very limited, whether we're talking internet, news, or opportunities to call home at civilized hours.
Skipping classes isn't really an option. I mean you could, and with 20/20 hindsight I would have skipped one of today's, but they're trying to teach us a vast amount of valuable material in a small amount of time, and most of us don't want to miss any.
For a few of the instructors, organization isn't a strong suit.

I think the answer is a combination of the following:

Spread out the classes a little more. Drop or shorten a couple to make room, or add a day to the program. Starting on Shabbat (well, say Friday afternoon) instead of Sunday would be really good, actually; it would give us a lower-key, comfortable environment in which to meet each other and begin learning. And it only costs one more day from work than the current program.
Rethink certain classes; maybe some instructors need to change, or maybe they need to think more about the course-specific syllabi.
Move certain classes to the chug format, where you choose one of several electives. This means some people will miss some things, but it also allows people to focus a little on the things that matter most to them.
Important: ease up the pressure on the group-led services so that people can actually socialize at meals and in the evenings. More about this later.

The feedback form doesn't have room to hand-write all of this and I don't have access to a printer here (or a stapler :-) ). Hmm.

Our service

My group is leading shacharit Friday morning. I think we've done a very good job of putting something together that will speak to people, further the broad educational goals (we're using the draft of the new siddur), and play to our strengths. It was like pulling teeth to get there, though, and I definitely had some bad-diplomacy moments today as I got frustrated with my teammates. We INTJs are about expedience and correctness, not touchy-feeliness, vagueness, and revisiting each decision eighty-bazillion times just in case something has changed in the last hour. (Ok, I exaggerate. A little.) Sigh.

Working with other people isn't a problem, of course; we all have to do it "back home". It's the combination of too much flexibility in the service, not knowing the other people the way you do back home, and trying to both make everyone comfortable and push everyone's limits a little (because we're supposed to grow) that makes it challenging. I also think three is an unconventional number for a service-leading group; in most congregations I think a lay leader will work alone or with one other person, who is a professional (rabbi or cantor) -- or will be working with a mob, like when, say, the sisterhood leads a service. I don't see three coming up much, at least in my own congregation. But every person in the group multiplies the challenge, so I think they'd be better off pairing up people. Or add mincha and do a mix of pairs and solos (mincha is short, so use solos for that) -- maybe give the more-experienced people the solo slots, or let people make requests, or something.

Or lower the class size. That should have been in my list above, too. We have, as it turns out, 29 people. This is too many to have in a class that's going to involve discussion, and some of the classes focus on affective issues and practical skills and discussion is important there. I don't know how many people applied to this program and were not accepted, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's a small number. I don't want to be snooty and exclusive, but I think they need to cap it at 20. If necessary, they could run the program more than once a year.

But all that said, I'm looking forward to our service and I think we're going to do a good job, even if I did finally decide (at about 10:30PM) that I'm going to punt on some of the still-rocky weekday nusach. (In some cases we're just going to read rather than chant, and in one place I'm going to use the weekday nusach I already know instead. It's for chatzi kaddish and the response parts are obvious, so that's ok.) So I'm looking forward to it, but I begrudge some of the prep time.

Oh. Tonight during the read-through we bumped into "meitim" in the g'vurot. This is a huge theological argument, and I completely forgot that it might be in the new siddur. I'm fine with it, but my two teammates are bothered. It's way too late to try to change anything, though. I pointed out that at least half the people there aren't reading but saying it from memory, so there are going to be plenty of "hakol"s in the room and we'll just shrug and move on. I'll bet it will come up in the breakfast discussion.

Classes

This morning's midrash class was taught by Rabbi (Dr.) Richard Sarason, and it was fantastic. He reminds me in many ways of my own rabbi -- teaching style, certain turns of phrase, organizational approach, etc. It turns out he was one of my rabbi's teachers. I would love to have the opportunity to learn more with this rabbi; it's a pity this was his only class this year. More about this class later, I hope.

The next class was on working with families at the time of death. This wasn't about funerals and burials; we did that Tuesday. This was more focused on the practical side -- what details do you need to talk to them about, how do you structure those first couple days, what kinds of questions will they have, etc. We also talked about stages of grief and related things, to better enable us to get into their heads. It was a good class, taught (as it turned out) by the rabbi whose services and torah study I went to Saturday morning.

The next class was on leadership, which was mainly about understanding synagogue politics. (No, I don't -- not in an hour and a half. But I'm closer.) More about this later.

Today's chug on cantillation went well. We chanted actual torah portions (slowly), and just for grins we learned the weird tropes that are very rare and very fancy and fun to sing. The instructor was commenting on one in particular being great for getting the congregation's attention, but it only shows up twice in the entire torah. (Or maybe it was four times. I forget.) I looked at the passage (it's in our book) and said it's a pity they missed a chance in this program, then. It's in this week's portion. Oops. :-) (Yes, it is days too late for the student who's going to chant on Saturday to learn a different passage.)

Last week I wondered what "spiritual accompaniment" meant. It sounded like it was going to be pastoral care, but the class pretty much stayed on bikur cholim visits (visiting the sick) and didn't really cover it well. The answer to a lot of questions was "I don't know" or "you have to stick with what's comfortable for you" -- but surely there are techniques for people who are currently uncomfortable doing this to get minimally comfortable. We didn't discuss them. It sounds like there was a disconnect somewhere in the planning. I was pretty frustrated.

Et cetera

Today's services were both done well. The morning service was pretty traditional (as these things go) and was more formal than we've been tending toward, which is fitting for a day with a torah reading. The music in that service was very, very effective -- what was supposed to be majestic was very majestic, what was supposed to be meditative was very meditative, and so on. The kedusha was stunning, and that point was the closest I've felt to God all week.

Tonight's service was more mellow, which fits the end of a long day. (They couldn't have planned in advance for today's higher stress all around, but what timing!) They did a nice treatment of Hashkiveinu -- sang a melody that I need to learn (but have failed to retain) that covers the first sentence, then played quiet music while someone read the English translation of the prayer, and then finished with that melody again. Very nice treatment for a lullaby prayer.

Tomorrow: talmud, outreach (two sessions), Shabbat. I'm looking forward to Shabbat; I hope we're all able to relax. (There are classes on Saturday afternoon, but not all day.)

Oh, small-world moment: the sister of one of my classmates is someone I went to CMU with. ("With" as in actually knowing her, not just being in the same 1000-person class.)