LJ etiquette 101

[cellio]

My friend grouchyoldcoot is a relatively new user of LJ (but has been around the net for a long time), so he asked me about the etiquette norms. LJ itself doesn't seem to have any beyond the guidelines for indecent material, so I thought I'd start a discussion here. Related topics often come up in blog_sociology too.

(Let me get this out of the way early: the word "friends" is very wrong in this context. Personally, I think of it more like a "subscriber" model. But I will use the word "friend" here, because that's the LJ lingo.)

LJ is big. Really really big. Over 5 million users, half active, or there-abouts. The vast majority of them are teenagers, and their norms probably differ from those of my circle of friends. I haven't been a teenager for a very long time, and to the best of my knowledge none of my LJ friends are teenagers. These are my opinions; YMMV, especially if your demographic varies.

Adding friends: Some people like to be asked before you add them; others don't care. The user info might contain a hint. I generally do not ask; I figure that if they put it out there for the public to read, there's no difference between reading discreetly and subscribing explicitly. If I see that the person has a very small friends list, I am more likely to post a comment fairly promptly upon subscribing.

Introductory comments: Some people like new subscribers to pop in and say hi explicitly; others don't care. I personally do not leave comments that consist entirely of "hi, I added you"; that sounds kind of high-schoolish to me. The first time I post something of substance, though, I'll often add something like "by the way, I found you via so-and-so".

Recipricocity: Some people expect you to add them back if they add you; others don't care. My advice is to not get into the game of keeping score; add the people you want to read and/or the people you want to give access to your restricted posts. While I don't automatically reciprocate, and it might be for reasons ranging from general content to grammar/format/spelling to the number of posts per day to a high concentration of quizzes to, in one past case, not speaking the language the journal is written in, I do periodically pop into the journals of the people I didn't add back. Journals and posters change over time, after all, and I may subscribe later. Or I may just pop in once every couple weeks, catch up, and maybe leave some comments. Usually it's just about managing my reading list and is not at all personal; there are only so many hours in a day. :-)

Quizzes: Mistakingly called "memes", these are the entries along the lines of "what LotR character are you" or "what color eggplant are you" or whatever. They usually have a graphic (sometimes large) and boilerplate text, with no original content. There are gazillions of them out there. Personally, I dislike them and appreciate it when my friends put them behind lj-cut tags, especially if they're doing a bunch in one fell swoop.

Other "memes": there are lots of things called memes floating around. My recent interview entries are part of one of them. There are also surveys floating around, and some others. I personally like the ones that involve original content, that tell me something about the person posting them. I really like the interview meme because not only does it tell us something about you but it encourages interaction. I think that's kind of neat. Yeah, it's a journal and not a bulletin board, but if you didn't want some level of interaction with your readers you'd just keep a private journal on your home computer, right?

Long posts: there is a convention that long posts should be partially or entirely behind an lj-cut tag so that people don't face excessive scrolling when reading their friends' pages. The definition of "long" varies. You'll get a feel for the local definition among your own friends just by hanging around. There's also a convention of putting large pictures, which consume a lot of bandwidth, behind a cut, particularly if you're posting more than one.

Ok, what basic ("101") topics have I missed, and what do the rest of you think about these?

Comments

LJ Etiquette

[anniemal.livejournal.com]

I'm still figuring it out.

My "friends" list is short, and my "bookmark" list is long. You are right. There are only so many hrs/day. So to anyone not on my "FL": I am reading you maybe, but not unless the people I already know in real life and/or care about aren't taking up all my attention and thought. I don't expect anything of anyone, and hope no one feels let down.

My cardinal rule is to not post something I don't want the whole world to read. Unless I:
A.) hide the identity of said person, and
B.) know for sure they won't find out I've written anything because they shake their heads at computers in general. (Yes, I know many.)

So my first entries were insipid. I have offended enough people to know how easily I give offense. Thus try to pick my transgressions instead of getting nasty surprise responses.

Eh. I am coming more o the atitude of "It's my journal, and I'll bore if I want to." I will also probably offend some who read one comment or post and don't know me as a whole. I have a statement I make, but don't feel yet: (Expletive) you.

As time's gone on, and I've come to feel freer, I find I like seeing what gets said. Sometimes someone takes a read on what I've written that I didn't see or intend when I wrote it. Sometimes it stings, sometimes it enlightens, or both.

I don't know what to say to newbies about LJ etiquette. It's a matter of watching what as many others as you have time to read write, finding others you're comforable with, finding your friends whoa are already here, and time and experience. I still offend, transgress boundaries, commit faux pas...but I have a better idea abou whether it's OK than 1.4 yrs ago.

My best guess.

Re: LJ Etiquette

[cellio]

My cardinal rule is to not post something I don't want the whole world to read. Unless I: [...]

Yup. Remember that a public entry can be read by anyone, and might be archived (so even if you delete it later, it may come back to haunt you). There is a saying from an earlier time: "If you would be upset to see it on the cover of the New York Times, don't say it in email". While I think that exaggerates the point a bit, you do need to remember that written words are a little more permanet than spoken ones, and written words in public places even moreso.

The flip side of that, as tangerinpenguin points out, is that you will live a much happier life if you try to give other users the benefit of the doubt.