interviewed by ichur72

[cellio]

1. Has it been easy or difficult to deal with non-observant in-laws?

Some of each. Most of my in-laws are remarkably understanding and accommodating; they want to do the right things to make me comfortable but don't always know what those things are. Sometimes they'll ask or I'll anticipate a situation and raise it (or plan to just deal with it); occasionally, like with Shabbat lunch while we were there for Pesach, we'll all just get blind-sided by something. There's goodwill and we all just deal, but of course if they were observant the situations wouldn't come up in the first place.

There are things that are minor enough that I feel bad asking them to make additional changes, but that can still be a bit of a hassle. For example, I haven't figured out what it takes to get a bathroom light left on on Shabbat/Yom Tov; it seems to be a very energy-conscious family. C'est la vie.

One person in the family acts as if she is hostile to observance, but it might just be that she's remarkably self-centered and she would be just as hostile to other constraints. She's one of those classic "how dare you question the ingredients in my cooking; I know what's good for you better than you do" sorts. Since she's pretty snarly no matter what, I haven't felt an urge to probe the situation.

2. What Jewish observances resonate most strongly with you?

Prayer, particularly in community (which you probably already figured out :-) ). Saying blessings before and after eating, and kashrut, for the same reason: they elevate a base subsistence act to one that forces me to be conscious of God. Torah study for its own sake (rather than just to get an answer to a question). Making Shabbat different from the other six days.

3. Have you decided to take on any observance that proved to be more difficult than you anticipated?

One aspect of kashrut has turned out to be harder than I anticipated: eating at the homes of friends/relatives. It's not that I don't trust people to heed my food restrictions if they say they will; my friends and family have gone out of their way in that regard and I completely trust them to do what they say they'll do. But I still feel awkward about it because I am asking them to take special steps and, by its nature, the request is pretty uncompromising. I mean, I cut corners in some cases that I perhaps ought not cut, mostly for the sake of peace in the family, but even so there are limits. Maybe I just don't like saying "no, I can't", and maybe I'm uncomfortable calling down that much of a spotlight. I'm not sure.

Not manipulating electricity on Shabbat has turned out to be very challenging in the summer, and I just plain didn't see that coming. I need breaks from reading but often don't have people to visit with. It would be nice to be able to turn on the TV or stereo. Or it would be nice to punt on daylight savings time so that Shabbat didn't end at close to 10PM in June. (Anyone local who's reading this: this means Saturday-afternoon visits are definitely welcome if you're in the neighborhood!)

There are some challenges from having a non-observant husband, but I think you were asking me about "internal" difficulties more than "external" ones.

4. Who's your favorite SF character and why? (Can be from TV, book or movie.)

Hmm, that's hard. I really feel for Ender; I'm inspired by Manny O'Kelly; I'd like to be Mike Callahan; I'd like to meet Jean-Luc Picard; I'd like to be able to study Kerr Avon. But those are all aspects. I'd have to say that my favorite character (not further specified) is Susan Ivanova from Babylon 5. She's smart; she's direct (some would say blunt); I think we share a lot of personality traits. And she's funny and I think would be a neat person to get to know.

5. What period or style of music appeals to you most?

I'm going to assume that while it's often the name of a very short section in stores and catalogs, "medieval and renaissance" is too broad. Within that, there are two that come to mind immediately. One is the 13th-century estampie (or istampita, depending on language) and saltarello style, which tends to be perky, playable, hummable dance music. The other is also dance music -- 15th-century Italian balli. (And probably the contemporary bassadanza, except that we don't have full music for many of these.) The balli are sometimes perky too, but sometimes they are also elegant and graceful, and the source materials provide room for performers to add improvisation and arrangements on top of what's given that can really shape the character of the piece. I like playing them, I like listening to them, and I like composing them.

I also enjoy 16th-century counterpoint, particularly immitative. It's fun to sing and nifty to (try to) write. Palestrina is the standard exemplar there.

Comments

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

But I still feel awkward about it because I am asking them to take special steps and, by its nature, the request is pretty uncompromising. I mean, I cut corners in some cases that I perhaps ought not cut, mostly for the sake of peace in the family, but even so there are limits.

Boy, I hear that. I mean, my reasons are medical, but just as strict.

[cellio]

I sometimes wonder how you manage in restaurants. I go the vegetarian+fish route and sometimes still have trouble; your restrictions are much more severe than that.

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

I carefully pick restaurants - if I can I call ahead. I have a good sense of what mistakes they make, what foods are easy to modify, and I eat whatever they can come up with.

When I talk to waiters, I tell them it is a medical requirement not a preference, and I ask their advice. It is all I can do. Under some circumstances I eat a few things, and sneak a PowerBar which I keep in my gym bag at all times.

One place I did the unthinkable - I joined a large party, the restaurant could not or would not accommodate me. I got take-out from a nearby Italian place, and brought it back. They were nice about it, I tipped the waiter for the meal I didn't get to order. But it was damned odd...