my rabbi and the morning minyan

[cellio]

I talked with my rabbi today about my leading services at the other shul. He already knew that I've been going there for shacharit for years (not every day); I told him that this was because of ties to a particular group of people, not to that synagogue or movement in general, and if that minyan were to disband I would not seek out another. I'm committed to my movement, my synagogue, and my rabbi; I just don't see a conflict with also participating elsewhere in small doses. (My synagogue does not have a daily morning minyan.) I then told him that I'm leading that service once a week, that this was because they had asked me (I didn't initiate), and that I'd said "no" for a good long time before agreeing. I asked if this was a problem for him. (I also apologized for not coming to him about this much earlier.)

The discussion went in two main directions. There were the liturgical questions -- how do I feel about praying for the restoration of the temple sacrifices, resurrection of the dead, and so on? I work around the first [1] and am comfortable viewing the second metaphorically, so those aren't problems. We are going to discuss the liturgy more next time, when I actually remember to bring a copy of that particular siddur along.

The other part of the discussion had to do with appearances. How large is this minyan? Could I be seen as being the leader of the group in general, which has implications beyond the service? We concluded that there is not an issue here; I'm one of several people who leads (and I'm not the main one), I'm on a short leash liturgically, I'm not doing anything else in that congregation, and the group is small (we usually have a minyan by Barchu, but usually not by Kaddish d'Rabbanan).

We also talked about my motivations and whether this fits with my educational path; everything appears to be fine there after discussion.

So everything's fine, but I really should have had the clue to talk with him when it first came up. I find it really hard to initiate conversations sometimes; with luck I'll get better at this. I really feel close to my rabbi, but there's also this professional arm's-length separation that prevents us from just being friends who talk about things. I wonder how I can change that.

[1] Ok, this is going to be surprising for a Conservative morning service, but: we don't do a chazan's repetition of the Amidah. Everyone does the first three brachot together, and then after Kedusha everyone completes it individually. When I get to R'tzei, I use the Reform text (which I have memorized). [2] Also, Sim Shalom has toned that passage down somewhat, at least in translation.

[2] This is one of the reasons I said "no" for a while: could I legitimately be sh'liach tzibur (prayer representative) for the congregation if I did not say exactly the text in the siddur? The primary concern here was actually abbreviation, not substitution -- I pointed out that I am much slower with the Hebrew than most of them are but that I could use the alternative text for the intermediate blessings. The folks in the minyan seemed to care not one whit what I did during the individual reading. So ok.

Comments

Re: forgive my ignorance

[dmnsqrl.livejournal.com]

Those who do not believe in physical resurrection... do they tend to believe in a not-necessarily-physical afterlife or do they tend to not believe in an afterlife at all?

Or is it pretty consensusless on that point?

Re: forgive my ignorance

[goljerp]

You're expecting consensus from Jews? :-)

In the current day and age, I would say that many Jews tend to focus on "this world", with possibly vague, warm, and fuzzy thoughts about some sort of afterlife... but it's not something that's talked about much.

My personal opinion? I'll find out far to soon what happens after I die... I'm in no rush to spoil the surprise.

At other times, Jews have believed more or less in an afterlife of various descriptions. I haven't read Neil Gillman's book on this yet, but I would reccomend it nevertheless if you're interested in learning more about the subject from a Jewish point of view.

Re: forgive my ignorance

[dmnsqrl.livejournal.com]

which book would that be?

Re: forgive my ignorance

[dmnsqrl.livejournal.com]

Sheesh, I actually read this at first as "Neil Gaiman" and I was _all_ confused

Re: forgive my ignorance

[goljerp]

OOps, that would be confusing. :-)

The book is The Death of Death: Resurrection and Immortality in Jewish Thought, and it is by Neil Gillman.

Re: forgive my ignorance

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

You're not the only one. I was wondering when that author had written a book relevant to this subject/