why observe Jewish law?

[cellio]

A friend asked (in a locked post, so I won't link) why I follow Jewish law. What do I get out of it? I want to record my answer here.

I follow the law because it improves my relationship with God and because it elevates mundane tasks.

Consider eating. Animals eat. Humans need to eat, but we have minds and souls and we don't have to be like animals. The simple act of saying a blessing before ("getting permission") and giving thanks afterwards ("grace") elevates the otherwise-coarse act of eating to a holier status. Now consider actually choosing to restrict what I eat (and how I eat it) because I understand that this is what God asks of us. It's such a simple thing to skip the shellfish and, in return, God might reach out a little to me just as I reach out to God. That's a win!

When I was in the process of becoming more religious (that is, moving from being an apatheist to actually paying attention to God), I found that if I sincerely tried, even with baby steps, I saw positive results. Psychologists might well say that that's because I caused those changes through a more positive outlook; if so, so what? Does that matter if God -- or my God-concept -- was the underlying force? We're supposed to take an active role; if by praying to God I get no direct effect from God, but the act itself causes me to improve my own behavior, isn't that still a win? Well, it's not just prayer that can produce that effect. Keeping Shabbat, eating properly, striving to repair the world, studying torah... it's all bundled up in there.

Comments

[nobble.livejournal.com]

You know, I find you a real inspiration. Your views, although quite different in terms of theology to mine, are refreshing and thoughtful and directional. I wish I could motivate myself in the same way and direction that you have, but along the orthodox path that I see to align with.

My parents think that I'm mad, at this age and stage of my life wanting to keep a kosher home and send my little boy to a jewish school. They never did. They justify their actions in reaction to the experiences they had as children in a world that persecuted difference and intelligence, thought, culture and enlightenment (from every walk of life). They cannot understand why I even admit to being a jew. It's really weird.

But even wanting as much as I do, I just wish I could get off my proverbial and do it. I have to find that motivator. Mind you. Interacting with a particularly dogmatic rabbisten is no incentive ...I can hear her voice "so why do we do that Rachael - because God said to". My brain powers down like something out of a cartoon.

Anyway, I need to find some guidance and a group that is quite interesting to go along and participate with I think. Do you think that is the key?

[cellio]

Thank you. I'm flattered.

It can be hard for people (like your parents) who live through a transition from "must appear to assimilate" to "ok to be different". It happened here too -- typically the immigrants stayed traditional, their kids chucked it all so they could succeed, and their kids (or sometimes grandkids) started to reclaim their tradition -- sometimes by a return to orthodoxy, sometimes by taking a different approach. Your parents have spent so much of their lives in the closeted mindset that they're not going to make big changes now. They might make small ones, gradually, if they didn't completely rebel.

Interacting with a particularly dogmatic rabbisten is no incentive ...

Yeah. Dogma and seeking don't go together.

Anyway, I need to find some guidance and a group that is quite interesting to go along and participate with I think. Do you think that is the key?

I imagine it's different for different people. A local community that you participate with regularly (e.g. going to weekly services) is certainly one way to do it, especially if it's a smaller group where you can get to know people. In my experience the regulars are all too happy to help out a newcomer (and even a not-so-newcomer). A group of friends (local or not) who you can discuss things with in detail can be helpful, particularly if you're trying to tease out how you feel about theology or its implications. When I was going through this I had half a dozen or so people -- mostly in different cities -- with whom I corresponded regularly; one in particular was really, really helpful in both supplying information and asking challenging questions. And sometimes a personal relationship with a rabbi can do it.

But I do think you have to engage personally in some way if you're going to try to change your path. Reading books and journals only gets you so far. I was initially terrified to go to a synagogue and talk to a rabbi, but there came a point where it was obviously the next thing to do. And that showed me things that the books I'd read up to that point could only hint at.

What is your local community like?

[nobble.livejournal.com]

The local community is orthodox, funny that, and in the locale where I grew up and still live. It's within walking distance from hom. We've been attached there for almost 30 years. How scarey is that.

The congregation up until quite recently has been ageing and really Hungarian, which isn't a problem culturally for me, my father is Hungarian (but not a jew - although he participates and is really quite amazing in every respect. I'll tell you about his mother some time. I'd love to get your reaction...anyway). But the Rabbi and his wife although amazingly cultured and travelled are really quite 'israeli' in their outlook, and as I explained before quite dogmatic. The social demographic has become quite South African of late, especially with the large migration from South Africa to Australia in recent times. Certainly leaning in the habad direction. Not my thing. I still want to be me. I dont think that I need necessarily to wear a skirt, headscarf or wig every waking minute to proclaim my beliefs. But that's a different thing. They're OK. But I think I need something more. Someone who can have a discussion and isn't going to respond "just because" if I ask a question. Perhaps also I'm looking to get away from my ex before NKJ. Peter. Peter peter peter. Peter who turns up in the supermarket and follows me around, Peter who rides past my parent's place on his pushbike, Peter who stops me in teh street on the pretext that he is going somewhere and doing something. I think I have a stalker.

I think I've just managed to put my finger on it. I need a change of scene. Also the first set of books that Rivka suggested I read is the 3 part Book of our Heritage. You probably have already dived into it. Not the right place to start to transition your life. Plunging headlong is just not the right way for me to tackle this, although that is the way I would ordinarily tackle something. I have to disengage and untangle many prejudices and ideas that my parents and my childhood expereiences exposed me to. Including the 3 months of Aish in Israel with no formal structure.

The next closest orthodox congregation is in the city, at the Great - the oldest congregation in Sydney and they follow the British traditions. I've recently been to a couple of things there. It's like going to an Anglican mass! Highly theatrical. Choir. Ceremonial outfits for the president all sorts of stuff. It is really different from the homely atmosphere of my local Synagogue. A little impersonal, but quite awe inspiring. The Rabbi is truly excellent. I'm not sure whether or not he takes the classes. Getting there is a problem. I work in the burbs and by the I'm home from the hellhole, friday night service is usually over.

Anyway, that's probably way too much info! Thanks for responding.

[cellio]

So only one shul within walking distance? That really limits your options, yes. (I'm used to a bigger community. I can walk to a dozen shuls from my house.)

Finding a community is partly about theological alignment, yes, but at least as important is getting along with people. It's possible that you would find people in non-orthodox movements locally to be less dogmatic while still supportive of your observance level. Or not; I don't live there and can't say. But if you've got, say, a local Conservative congregation, you might want to check them out. There's quite a bit of variation within all movements; as you've seen, not all Orthodox communities are the same, and that's just as true in the other movements.

Someone who can have a discussion and isn't going to respond "just because" if I ask a question.

I have found people like that in most communities, including ones far enough to the right that it surprised me. Ok, your rabbi and rebbetzin are not to your taste; there might be others in the community who are more your style.

Perhaps also I'm looking to get away from my ex before NKJ. Peter.

NKJ? (You've used that abbreviation in your journal a few times but I haven't figured it out.) I take it Peter is the ex?

I think I've just managed to put my finger on it. I need a change of scene.

It sounds like, yes. Do you have the option to get away temporarily, perhaps taking a short-term job out of town, to see how it goes?

3 part Book of our Heritage

I don't know that one, actually.

Plunging headlong is just not the right way for me to tackle this, although that is the way I would ordinarily tackle something.

Where would you like to start? Something theological? Something more practical (observance-oriented)? There are books for baalei t'shuva (people returning to observance) that might help. Heck, some of the books for would-be converts might help; you're not a convert, of course, but they tend to provide a perspective "from the outside looking in", and maybe that would help you.

Thanks for responding.

Happy to (try to) help.

[nobble.livejournal.com]

Anything on the reading front would be a great thing to start with (ie Ba'al t'shuva or conversion.) I think I am looking for practical to start with rather than theological. I have to dedicate the time and go to a shiur regularly to get into the text and the interpretation stuff I think.

NKJ is the father of my son (Nicholas Kent Johnston) and the person who I had a relationship with for almost 7 years.

Peter was the 'boy' prior to Nicholas. He is my shadow. We met at my local Shule while I was back from Law School and then were together for a while as I was doing postgrad law my first time in Canberra. he seems to be seriously twisted these days. The first time he saw me in the supermarket he ran away! At speed! I haven't really spent time with him since 1996.

[cellio]

Teshuva: A Guide for the Newly Observant Jew by Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz is quite good. It's got a lot of practical stuff and also some spiritual, and it's easy to jump around in it if that's what you want.

A book I didn't like, but others might, is After the Return by Rabbis Becher and Newman. I thought it was a little too, err, harsh? It didn't seem to focus as much on transition states for, say, dealing with relatives. But it's been several years since I read it, so I mention it in passing.

Pathways: Jews Who Return by Richard Greenberg is a collection of personal stories. Some will resonate and some won't; which ones fit which group varies by reader.

Becoming a Jew by Rabbi Maurice Lamm is for would-be converts and is written from an Orthodox perspective. I remember it being pretty informative and having a fair bit about practice, though I haven't reread it recently.

How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household by Blu Greenberg comes highly recommended, though I've only skimmed bits of it. Again, Orthodox perspective.

I hope some of these help. (I also hope you can borrow some rather than shelling out based only on my recommendation. I haven't checked which have excerpts posted at Amazon.)

[nobble.livejournal.com]

I'll have a look around and see what I can borrow. Thanks for the starting suggestions!