The post includes an image (which I scanned from a newspaper insert). I'm guessing this image failed to load for you for some reason. Other people are seeing it, so trying again might pay off.
The jingle bell notation does not appear to adequately disambiguate the length of notes
Each line ends with a spurious repeat
As I learned the words, the second line was "Jingle all the way!". Not Jingles, plural noun - it is, in fact, unclear whether "Jingle" in "Jingle all the way" is meant to be a verb ("jingling all the way") or adjective ("all bells in this population are of the 'jingle' variety")
The subsequent phrase "Oh what fun it is to share Nestle Crunch and Butterfinger today!" doesn't scan. If you could replace "Butterfinger" with something that's only one syllable, it would be much improved.
Nice catch on the bell type! I just realized that I have no idea what a canonical sleigh bell looks like. (pause for Google.) Yes, you're right -- definitely wrong.
Well, for one, it should be "jingle all the way" not "jingles all the way." For another, if the different color represent different notes, they should be yellow-red-green, yellow-red-green in the first line and not yellow-red-green, yellow-green-red.
Also, all the pitches on the top line should really be on "A" instead of "B" in order to be consistant w/ the song - the pitches on the second line are fine if the first line's pitches get moved down a step.....
So much to choose from - where do we start? :-) Obviously the rhythm is incorrect (and one can't even make the charitable assumption that the color of candy implies a different note value, since the first green candy and the second one occur on different temporal note values), each line should be broken into two bars, and the repeat bars at the end of each line don't belong there. Oh, yeah, and I learned it as "jingle all the way" not "jingles."
- The key signature is wrong--it should be F, not C. - There are repeat marks at the end of each line when there ought not be any. - I originally thought the "jingles" in the second line was wrong, but since that's the name of the candy being sold, I guess it's okay. - The continuation of the text after the musical section rhymes but doesn't have the right number of syllables.
I don't know if this is the wrongness you were looking for, but I'm amused by the incorrect repeat signs at the end of each staff. I mean, I'm all up for singing "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!," but I suspect that could get annoying after a while. :)
That's odd. I simply used an <img> tag in the entry, pointed to my own web space. I'm nowhere near bandwidth limitations so far as I know, so I have no idea what the problem is.
How very strange. Are you having trouble with images on other sites, or just LJ? (Could you be bumping into bandwidth problems with your ISP, for instance?)
When I scanned it I deliberately bumped the resolution and size down to keep the file size reasonable for download (128k). I wouldn't expect that to be big enough to cause problems. (And, of course, user pics are much smaller than that.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2005-12-12 12:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-12 01:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-12 01:51 am (UTC)Seriously, the repeats oughtn't not to be there.
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Date: 2005-12-12 01:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-12 03:18 am (UTC)Wrong key
Date: 2005-12-12 03:28 am (UTC)But then you knew I'm a music geek.
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Date: 2005-12-12 04:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-12 03:45 pm (UTC)"Jingle Bells" x4 "Jingles all the way" x2
Also I think it should be "Jingle all the way" (no 's') But the candy is named "jingles" (with an 's'), so this might be a deliberate change.
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Date: 2005-12-12 04:29 pm (UTC)- There are repeat marks at the end of each line when there ought not be any.
- I originally thought the "jingles" in the second line was wrong, but since that's the name of the candy being sold, I guess it's okay.
- The continuation of the text after the musical section rhymes but doesn't have the right number of syllables.
That more or less what you were looking for? :)
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Date: 2005-12-12 04:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-12 11:03 pm (UTC)Uh, I suppose that's not what you wanted comments on, is it?
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Date: 2005-12-13 02:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-13 03:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-13 03:20 am (UTC)When I scanned it I deliberately bumped the resolution and size down to keep the file size reasonable for download (128k). I wouldn't expect that to be big enough to cause problems. (And, of course, user pics are much smaller than that.)
I can mail you the image if you want.
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Date: 2005-12-13 02:27 pm (UTC)