ritual dress

[cellio]

velveteenrabbi wrote an interesting article about being visible in one's faith. She, as a liberal Jew in rabbinic school (and chaplaincy), wonders whether she should wear a kippah (or some other sign of her faith) all the time, or if that would give wrong impressions, and she wonders about the reasons for doing so. (I recommend reading the article.)

I have had some similar thoughts for a while (though obviously without the complications of being a rabbi in training like she is). I've occasionally thought about wearing a kippah, but rejected the idea for a number of reasons. First, by doing so I'm a visible ambassador of Judaism; do I want the responsibility? (Yes, I wear a star of David, but that's a little less prominent.) Second, there is a strong association out there, correct or not, between kippot and a particular form of Judaism to which I do not subscribe; would people draw incorrect conlusions? Throw my gender into the mix and two more complications arise: first, if people have incorrectly concluded that I'm Orthodox they'll then think me uppity for wearing a man's object, and second, the non-Jews I interact with will think it's especially weird because they've probably seen few kippot and none on women. So I concluded that I wouldn't wear a kippah. (I do own a couple, because it took me some time to figure this out.)

Having decided not to, I do not then adopt the practice of wearing one at some times, like during services. I don't think a kippah is just about worship; if you wear it as an expression of your Judaism, or because you feel obligated, do you stop being a Jew, or obligated, when you walk out of the synagogue? I don't think so. Wear it with confidence or don't wear it, but it's not in the same category as the suit you put on to go to shul, I don't think.

Now I do wear a tallit at (morning) services, and I've caught occasional snarking about this. I overheard one of my classmates in the Sh'liach K'hilah program going on at some length about how only a hypocrit would wear a tallit but not a kippah, and I might have been the only person in the program last summer who did that. I wasn't in a position to address her during said snarking, but I have actually thought about that and I do not believe it is inconsistent. The cammand for tzitzit, which is why you wear a tallit at all, is biblical. The kippah is minhag (custom) -- strongly-held minhag in some communities, of course, but minhag nonetheless. I see no problem following a biblical commandment while declining a minhag that some people associate with that biblical commandment.

The command for tzitzit isn't for just during services either, at least from the plain meaning of the text, but there is a strong custom of wearing the tallit only during services. The talmud rules that you must remove it before engaging in dirty activities; this might include sweat-inducing ones like farming (don't know) and it certainly includes answering the call of nature. So there's a practical justification for just taking it off after the morning services, and halacha seems to support that.

However, there is a strong minhag (I don't know if it's seen as halacha) among some to wear what's called a tallit katan, a little tallit, under one's regular clothes, and to wear it all day. Most Some people wear the tzitzit (fringes) out (in case you were ever wondering what those guys in black suits trailing threads are doing), though I learned some years back that I have at least one observant friend who wears them in. The commandment for wearing tzitzit is "so you will see them and remember the commandments", but I guess so long as you see them at times during the day that's covered. (I have no idea, by the way, why you can wear a tallit katan in places where you can't wear a tallit gadol (the type of tallit worn for services).)

I find myself oddly attracted to tzitzit. While all of the kippah arguments would come to bear on wearing them visibly, wearing them in would have none of those problems. But I can't quite bring myself to (1) try to purchase them for a woman's body and (2) explain it to the only person who would pretty much have to notice. I suppose (1) could be solved if I make my own.

But I have to ask myself why this attracts me. Do I need to be reminded of the mitzvot? No, not really; I really don't think I'm in danger of forgetting that I'm a Jew. Does the star of David I wear already fulfill whatever talismanic function tzitzit would serve? Possibly -- probably, even. So why?

A major reason that I wear a tallit during morning prayers is that it evokes a feeling of being wrapped in God's (metaphorical) hands just as I'm wrapped in the garment. There is a sense of closeness that, while present at other times, is heightened by the physical object, the ritual aid. And maybe I wonder if wearing a tallit katan would carry that sense of closeness into the rest of the day.

Comments

[geekosaur]

Sure, but the Baal Shem Tov also brought in a bunch of Sephardic minhag; presumably he switched back from the Zohar-inspired Ashkenazic hidden tzitzit to visible tzitzit, while emphasizing other parts of the Zohar.