ritual dress

[cellio]

velveteenrabbi wrote an interesting article about being visible in one's faith. She, as a liberal Jew in rabbinic school (and chaplaincy), wonders whether she should wear a kippah (or some other sign of her faith) all the time, or if that would give wrong impressions, and she wonders about the reasons for doing so. (I recommend reading the article.)

I have had some similar thoughts for a while (though obviously without the complications of being a rabbi in training like she is). I've occasionally thought about wearing a kippah, but rejected the idea for a number of reasons. First, by doing so I'm a visible ambassador of Judaism; do I want the responsibility? (Yes, I wear a star of David, but that's a little less prominent.) Second, there is a strong association out there, correct or not, between kippot and a particular form of Judaism to which I do not subscribe; would people draw incorrect conlusions? Throw my gender into the mix and two more complications arise: first, if people have incorrectly concluded that I'm Orthodox they'll then think me uppity for wearing a man's object, and second, the non-Jews I interact with will think it's especially weird because they've probably seen few kippot and none on women. So I concluded that I wouldn't wear a kippah. (I do own a couple, because it took me some time to figure this out.)

Having decided not to, I do not then adopt the practice of wearing one at some times, like during services. I don't think a kippah is just about worship; if you wear it as an expression of your Judaism, or because you feel obligated, do you stop being a Jew, or obligated, when you walk out of the synagogue? I don't think so. Wear it with confidence or don't wear it, but it's not in the same category as the suit you put on to go to shul, I don't think.

Now I do wear a tallit at (morning) services, and I've caught occasional snarking about this. I overheard one of my classmates in the Sh'liach K'hilah program going on at some length about how only a hypocrit would wear a tallit but not a kippah, and I might have been the only person in the program last summer who did that. I wasn't in a position to address her during said snarking, but I have actually thought about that and I do not believe it is inconsistent. The cammand for tzitzit, which is why you wear a tallit at all, is biblical. The kippah is minhag (custom) -- strongly-held minhag in some communities, of course, but minhag nonetheless. I see no problem following a biblical commandment while declining a minhag that some people associate with that biblical commandment.

The command for tzitzit isn't for just during services either, at least from the plain meaning of the text, but there is a strong custom of wearing the tallit only during services. The talmud rules that you must remove it before engaging in dirty activities; this might include sweat-inducing ones like farming (don't know) and it certainly includes answering the call of nature. So there's a practical justification for just taking it off after the morning services, and halacha seems to support that.

However, there is a strong minhag (I don't know if it's seen as halacha) among some to wear what's called a tallit katan, a little tallit, under one's regular clothes, and to wear it all day. Most Some people wear the tzitzit (fringes) out (in case you were ever wondering what those guys in black suits trailing threads are doing), though I learned some years back that I have at least one observant friend who wears them in. The commandment for wearing tzitzit is "so you will see them and remember the commandments", but I guess so long as you see them at times during the day that's covered. (I have no idea, by the way, why you can wear a tallit katan in places where you can't wear a tallit gadol (the type of tallit worn for services).)

I find myself oddly attracted to tzitzit. While all of the kippah arguments would come to bear on wearing them visibly, wearing them in would have none of those problems. But I can't quite bring myself to (1) try to purchase them for a woman's body and (2) explain it to the only person who would pretty much have to notice. I suppose (1) could be solved if I make my own.

But I have to ask myself why this attracts me. Do I need to be reminded of the mitzvot? No, not really; I really don't think I'm in danger of forgetting that I'm a Jew. Does the star of David I wear already fulfill whatever talismanic function tzitzit would serve? Possibly -- probably, even. So why?

A major reason that I wear a tallit during morning prayers is that it evokes a feeling of being wrapped in God's (metaphorical) hands just as I'm wrapped in the garment. There is a sense of closeness that, while present at other times, is heightened by the physical object, the ritual aid. And maybe I wonder if wearing a tallit katan would carry that sense of closeness into the rest of the day.

Comments

[geekosaur]

...though I learned some years back that I have at least one observant friend who wears them in. The commandment for wearing tzitzit is "so you will see them and remember the commandments", but I guess so long as you see them at times during the day that's covered.

I gather it's a little more complicated than that; apparently the Zohar makes the argument from mystical grounds that they should not be visible, notwithstanding the Biblical commandment or the linguistic evidence ("tzitz" means "spark", which in context is clearly alluding to something that catches the eye).

(I've also heard that Sephardim consider the argument suspect enough that they mostly either don't wear talliyot katanot, or wear them with the tzitzit visible — not "in" as is common among some Ashkenazim because of the Zohar.)

[(Anonymous)]

I just wonder in our wonderfully paternalistically focussed religion, how do women express their feeling outwardly. I know that we are supposed to be modest. We are supposed to cover our heads. Is that enough? I dont know. I'm not married, but I've had a child which confuses me even more (where on earth does family purity start and end for me!)

One thing I do know for sure. My child needs velcro for hair. There is no way a kippa is staying on that kopf without a major amount of assistance.

[cellio]

Thanks. I didn't know about the Zohar connection or the Sephardic practice.

Perhaps oddly given the Zohar stuff, I think the largest concentrations of visible tzitzit I've encountered have been among Lubavichers.

[cellio]

I think -- and I hope someone corrects me if I'm wrong -- that the traditional view is: first, women are inherently elevated (that's why they don't need many of the mitzvot), and second, women should be exceptionally modest because drawing attention to themselves could lead men to sin. So I'd guess that, traditionally, women aren't supposed to express their feelings or identity. Yes, you can probably spot an observant women by her dress (not just the head-covering for married women, but the modest dress in general), but that's not something she's particularly trying to communicate.

[geekosaur]

Sure, but the Baal Shem Tov also brought in a bunch of Sephardic minhag; presumably he switched back from the Zohar-inspired Ashkenazic hidden tzitzit to visible tzitzit, while emphasizing other parts of the Zohar.

[hakamadare.livejournal.com]

there is (surprise surprise!) extensive disagreement concerning the wearing of tzitzit inside or outside, leading to stories about famous rabbis who wore seven or so talliyot katanot simultaneously, thus enabling him to cover all the bases (in or out, next to skin or not, and with the tzitzit tied in different ways).

as for me, i really enjoy wearing the tallit katan; it feels like a good way to be mindful of my faith without taking on as much of the abovementioned “ambassador of Judaism” responsibilities (and, more to the point, i feel that they would really be “ambassador of Orthodox Judaism” responsibilities, since i get the impression the wearing of tzitzit is far more prevalent among the Orthodox).

as for purchasing them, btw, they’re nigh-on the least-fitted garment possible - essentially a big napkin with a head-hole in the middle. they come in a range of sizes, but as long as you’re not too far off, i wouldn’t think your body shape would pose much of a problem at all.

-steve

[geekosaur]

(ROFL at your icon :)

Yeh, Ki MiTzion Teitzei Torah had a shiur recently about tzitzit, and brought up things like the ruling by some rabbis that formal suit jackets are technically talliyot (i.e. have four "square" corners) and require tzitzit — but others rule that you should not wear tzitzit on them because all four corners are in front, whereas the Gemara talks about wearing tzitzit as "being surrounded by mitzvot" and therefore two corners must be in back for it to be a proper tallit requiring tzitzit.

I'm constantly amazed and amused by the amount of rules-lawyering, double-entendres, etc. that go on in halacha.

[estherchaya.livejournal.com]

Most people wear the tzitzit (fringes) out (in case you were ever wondering what those guys in black suits trailing threads are doing), though I learned some years back that I have at least one observant friend who wears them in.

Just about all the men in my community wear their tzitzit in.

[cellio]

Thanks. And I guess that's not something a woman can generally discern from casual observation, so I shouldn't have generalized.

[ichur72.livejournal.com]

My husband wears his in, except on Shabbos. I've never asked him why one way or the other.

My rabbi in Dallas splits the difference -- he winds the fringe around his belt loops and then tucks the strings in.

[siderea]

My child needs velcro for hair. There is no way a kippa is staying on that kopf without a major amount of assistance.

Woah. Suddenly my genetic heritage made more sense than it ever has before.

Chalk another one up for evolutionary biology.

[goljerp]

I think I've written before about the woman (whom I rented a room from in Jerusalem) who made Tallit Katanot for women. I don't know if I still know how to get in touch with her; from what I recall, she mainly made them for bat mitzvot, and they were something like a, um, camisole. I could ask around if you wanted...

As far as wearing a kippah, my personal minhag is that when I'm davening, I wear a Kippah. When I'm on my way to daven, I usually wear a kippah; on my way from, I also usually wear one. This means that, in practice, I wear one most of Shabbat, but not the rest of the week. If I'm doing something that Morris might have a problem with, then I take it off (i.e. there are times that I go to the library on Shabbat, just to sit and read. No problem with that, but I don't want to imply that it's OK to go to the library and check out books or whatever, so I take off the kippah.)

[cellio]

You have mentioned her before, but I think you didn't still know how to contact her last time we discussed her.

If I'm doing something that Morris might have a problem with, then I take it off

I know people who do that. I know others who think it's just too much trouble to monitor what other people might think about them if you twist things just the right way; this tends to lead them to either always wear it or never wear it (depending on the person) instead of making context-dependent decisions. I don't know what I would do were it relevant for me.

[cellio]

(and, more to the point, i feel that they would really be “ambassador of Orthodox Judaism” responsibilities, since i get the impression the wearing of tzitzit is far more prevalent among the Orthodox).

Yes. And to a lesser extent this is true of wearing a kippah as well. If I wear an outward sign that is generally assumed to be indicative of Orthodox Judaism, and I behave in ways not approved by that movement, then I'm going to give outsiders a mistaken impression of Orthodoxy and get flack from the Orthodox for (to their perception) being a bad Jew. But I'm not a bad Jew; I just have a different take on halacha than they do. I'm a very good Jew in my movement and theology, but that's not what anyone will see.

I don't like that symbols of Judaism in general are strongly associated with one particular type of Judaism, but I don't know what's to be done about it. I don't feel I can use the term "shomer shabbat" either, which leaves me no succinct term with which to convey that yes, I do take Shabbat seriously. A Reform rabbi (I forget who off hand) proposed adopting "zocheir shabbat", which is an interesting idea that hasn't taken off yet.

Now on the one hand, if we avoid outward signs because we think a particular movement "owns" them, we make it so. On the other hand, to break that perception involves a period of tension while it all gets sorted out. Were I to wear a kippah I would not be challenging Orthodoxy but rather expressing my own Judaism -- but that's not how it would be seen by everyone, which means some people would see me as a trouble-maker, and it would take a while for that to all sort itself out. Do I want to be that apparent trouble-maker? Not particularly.

(This is why, by the way, for years I did not wear a tallit in the weekday morning minyan (Conservative), because while they're egalitarian I had never, ever, seen a woman other than a bat mitzvah wear one there. Then one day a couple of the leaders said "so when are you going to start wearing a tallit?" and I learned it was ok.)

[goljerp]

You have mentioned her before, but I think you didn't still know how to contact her last time we discussed her.

True, but I could find out how to find her...

[magid.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a reasonably knowledgeable Jew, not a clueless non-Jew, a woman wearing a kippah is not an indication that she's Orthodox, but most likely not Orthodox, since generally Orthodox women who cover their heads do so in a different manner. With tzitzit, it's also less of an Orthodoxy marker for women, though most of the women I know who have considered taking on this mitzvah (committing to wear them every day) have been Orthodox.

I like "zocheir shabbat". It links to the phrasing of kiddush ("zachor et yom ha-shabbat...") and makes it obvious that someone is making Shabbat special, while not necessarily in strictly halachic ways (else "shomer(et) shabbat" would be used).

Side note: I've seen a number of non-Orthodox college students who wear kippot. I don't know if they continue to once they're in the 'real world,' but I see them as the vanguard of possibly changing the kippah = Orthodox idea.

PS I wonder, if it becomes more accepted for non-Orthodox people to wear kippot, there will be the same kinds of style markers that there are in Orthodox circles, with different groups choosing crocheted/fabric/velvet/etc (of varying radii).

[(Anonymous)]

Your child needs "Keepon!" (It might be spelled "kipon").

It's basically velcro for kippahs.

[cellio]

Wow. Who'd'a thought? I guess those little clips are out of style, then?

[bhakti.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a non-Jew who moves in liberal interfaith circles: I have frequently seen women wearing kippot, all (to the best of my knowledge) Reform or Reconstructionist, and many of them rabbis. They tended to wear more colorful styles, often of the crocheted variety.

So, for what it's worth, if I saw a woman in a kippah, the last thing I would think would be Orthodox -- I'd probably assume something much closer to the liberal end of the spectrum.

seconding a few things

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

(1) When I see a woman wearing a kipa, my assumption is that she's observant but not Orthodox, because I know that some non-Orthodox women wear kipot but most Orthodox women don't.

(2) The men in my family who wear talit katan wear the strings in. I remember both of my brothers having to deal with "what is that?!" at camp when they were changing from regular clothes to/from swimsuits (and removing/putting back the talit katan). This was also the norm at the (modern Orthodox) schools I went to, although some students/teachers wore theirs out, and is a standard at the various synagogues I go to.

(3) A woman shopping for a talit katan is not as odd as you seem to think - after all, even in Orthodox areas, women routinely shop for their husbands'/sons'/etc's shirts, socks, underwear... and, as was mentioned in another comment, they're usually sold by dimensions (x width, x length) so you can try draping a piece of fabric at home to figure out roughly what you want.

[aliza250.livejournal.com]

The tallit katan is clothing, the tallit gadol is a religious object, thus the different rules applying to them.

At my sister Debbie's old shul, most of the women who wore a talit chose one that was noticeably feminine - pastel colors, even one that looked like a crocheted shawl with tied tzitzit at the corners.

I will admit, though, that I've rarely seen a woman who wore a talit but didn't cover her head during services. At most of the traditional synagogues I'm familiar with, along with a basket of loaner kippot, there would be a basket of little "chapel hats" for the ladies. There's a very long tradition (in some communities) of women covering their heads in shul.

I'm confused, though, as to why you see a kippah as an all-or-nothing thing. For some people, it's just another way to show humility or respect for G-d -- what is it that makes it less meaningful in that way for you than a tallit?

[cellio]

The tallit katan is clothing, the tallit gadol is a religious object, thus the different rules applying to them.

Thanks. That makes sense.

I'm confused, though, as to why you see a kippah as an all-or-nothing thing. For some people, it's just another way to show humility or respect for G-d -- what is it that makes it less meaningful in that way for you than a tallit?

Maybe I think of a kippah as clothing rather than a ritual object? It does express humility before God, which doesn't only apply inside a synagogue. I think what I'm uncomfortable with is not wearing the kippah but taking it off to go back outside. Many people wear them all the time, after all, so what does it say about me if I choose to be selective? A talit gadol, on the other hand, is pretty much only worn during services. (Yes, once or twice I've seen people walking down the street wearing one because they didn't have an eiruv, but it was unusual enough to be noteworthy.)