thread clash

[cellio]

When praying (which usually means when at services), I've noticed that there's a background thread that runs in my brain. While the foreground task is reciting the words in the siddur, the background thread is analyzing the words (ok, only some of the words) based on what I've learned so far of grammar. Sometimes I notice something new (oh, that's how that verb is put together!). This is good; direct application aids learning.

But... is there a way to prevent that thread from grabbing focus? Its job, most of the time, is to note things to come back to later, but sometimes it distracts me when I ought not be distracted. Like, say, when I'm leading services. I don't want to surpress it; I just want it to behave.

(Please tell me that other people's brains work this way too? Pretty much any time I'm doing something vaguely "intellectual", there are at least two things going on in my brain, the main activity and the "meta" level that's noticing how I'm processing that main activity.)

Comments

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

It is a rare day when I can completely focus on my davening. Especially at shul, I tend to think about shul issues, irksome people at the shul, the next task I have to do, how many people we have at which point in the minyan and who else might come, whether this person who didn't call me last night will show up, etc. It doesn't help to daven before coffee, as I did today. I do also find myself looking at minute details, especially when the rabbi is there and has been gabbai for my lehning and corrects my "va-ye-dabber" to "vay'dabber", which is a pretty subtle thing to anyone who doesn't actually speak Hebrew as a living language. If you're leading the service, catching and correcting yourself is what you do once you have the basic rhythm down. So it's hard to stop.

One reason I've heard for why we daven at breakneck speed is so that yetzer hara won't catch up with us -- the idea being that speculating on the words engages a kind of dissonance, and it can actually be destructive. At least it's good to know that even for the greatest, complete kavvanah in prayer is very hard to achieve.

[cellio]

It is a rare day when I can completely focus on my davening. Especially at shul, I tend to think about [...]

Oh, me too. I think that happens to everyone. And some days it's easier to squash those distractions than other days. This feels a little different because the threads are interconnected; the one reacts to the other.

It doesn't help to daven before coffee, as I did today.

That definitely makes it harder, yes. I generally don't get caffeine beforehand either. (Does the halacha that says no breakfast until after shacharit also apply to coffee, I wonder? I'm pretty sure it doesn't apply to water.)

One reason I've heard for why we daven at breakneck speed is so that yetzer hara won't catch up with us -- the idea being that speculating on the words engages a kind of dissonance, and it can actually be destructive.

On the other hand, you're required to understand what it is you're praying, too. So you have to strike this balance between that and the speculation you mention.

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Somewhere in the back of ArtScroll it says you can have coffee before shacharit, "even" with sugar and milk in it.