cellio | the western wall

Current Location: Yerushalayim

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israel

the western wall

I'll return to chronological order later. Today we visited the wall, and that deserves an entry of its own.

I wasn't really sure what to expect at the kotel, the main plaza in front of the western wall. As I wrote before, on Friday we visited a different section of the wall and, while it was nice, it didn't really move me.

I guess I expected to have an intellectual/historical experience today. I don't believe that the wall is religiously special; I am convinced that God hears my prayers just as well in Pittsburgh as in Yerushalayim. For the same reason, I'm not the sort to leave a note in the wall. Some people get fervent about the wall, and sometimes I've thought they go too far, bordering on fetishism or even idolatry. It's a historially and nationally significant place, but, well, at some level it's just a wall. I should clarify that I was not (and am not) at all hostile; I just didn't really get it.

We had some time for private reflection, and I went down into the women's side. (The mechitzah is excessive, and I noticed several women standing on chairs looking into the men's section.) I ignored the mechitzah and focused on the wall. Near the center there were three soldiers -- with hair uncovered, by the way -- praying quietly and intensely. I of course don't know what they were praying, but it struck me that most of us probably don't have call to pray for our lives like they probably do. The pictures I took (respectfully) probably don't convey their mood very well, but I tried.

A space cleared up down near the far end, so I went up to the wall. It's quite tall, so from close up it really does tower over you. It was too late for shacharit and too early for mincha and I didn't have any texts with me, but I silently recited the one psalm I could do completely from memory (150). (While writing this I realized I also know Ashrei, which is mostly (I think) psalm 145; didn't think of it at the time.)

And then I touched it. And that's when it hit me. I felt a strong, emotional connection. It was overwhelming, and it completely surprised me. There I was, touching the western wall, staring at all the notes cramming every nook and cranny, and I felt this connection with something bigger than myself -- history, God, the nation of Israel, I'm not really sure.

Epilogue: As I walked back from the women's section into the main plaza, an older black-hatter -- long white beard, peyot, serious appearance -- looked at me and said "welcome home".

I wonder if first-time-ness shows in people's faces, to the experienced eye.

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Wow, it sounds like an amazing experience!

Wow, I didn't expect to get a comment in the time it took me to scan email headers after posting this. :-)

(Now signing off to write more stuff; net access is metered.)

I wonder if first-time-ness shows in people's faces, to the experienced eye.

Apparently, it really does. The same thing happened to me the first time I went. (Friday night my first week at yeshiva, with some friends of mine who had been before. Apparently the "first time at the wall" thing was noticed by some charedi and chardal guys near me, and some really nice conversations ensued. Probably one of the nicest memories I have from my year there.

Nesiah tovah!

Nifty. I didn't get the conversation, just the greeting, but maybe I missed a cue after "thank you".

If you have a chance to take the tunnel tour of the wall, that's pretty cool, too (you get to go in tunnels to the left of the mens' section.

The placement of the mechitza at the wall was pretty unequal when I was there... I doubt it's gotten better. Plus there's a sheltered part on the mens' side, for when it's rainy...

It's a wall, but hundreds of years of people making it holy has given it some holiness.

Enjoy your trip! I wish I was there...

I did notice that the men (but not women) get shelter from rain, yes. And a much bigger section. I assume that's born out by demand at regular service times; when I was there the numbers of people were closer to balanced, such that men got to go up to the wall at will but women had to take turns or just stand farther back.

I have, over the years, had a love-hate relationship with the fundamental concepts of Zionism: I've been soured (especially lately) by many Israeli responses to the Middle East crisis generally, I've had doubts as to my direct connection to Zion itself due to the implications of the Khazar connection...things like that have altered my thinking from my position of some decades ago (which was pretty absolute). But there's something very very deep that is making me want to touch your hand, the hand that touched that Wall. That part of me gets it.

They're complicated feelings, yes. On the one hand it's just a retaining wall, but on the other hand... yeah.

I don't think I had any Zionist leanings before the trip. (Now maybe some seeds have been planted, or not.) My opinions on the troubles there, which I suspect are somewhat farther to the right than yours, are based on what I see as fundamental concepts of justice, having nothing to do with Jews in particular. I think, for example, that if you (any "you") initiate a war and manage to lose territory as a result, well, tough noogies; you shouldn't have done that. Until now my opinion on, say, giving back the Golan was just "that wouldn't be fair"; now, having seen it, I understand another dimension -- that it would be suicidal to give that to Syria. But I'm not feeling the "this is our homeland" reasons kick in, because "homeland" is way too complicated in that part of the world.

Err, don't know if I'm making sense...

I agree with the idea of "victors keepers" IRT to the Golan and West Bank, and
I also think that Israel has the shorter end of the general negotiative stick, since they're continually called upon to give up land (which is damned hard to get back
once relinquished) in return for promises on pieces of paper. And you better believe that if it were the other way around, the other guys would never give up a grain of sand. As for the Wall itself, it is the quintessential symbol of the Hope
-- ha-Tikva, after all -- that's kept our people going for millenia. And for me, there's the bonus that it is the wall of King Solomon's Temple, so there's the Masonic connection as well. (Read Kings on the building of KST and you have the great part of all you need to know about Freemasons....)

three soldiers -- with hair uncovered
They're most likely not married, so there'd be no expectation that their hair would be covered.

Probably unmarried, yes. I'd gotten the impression that women in general were expected to cover their hair at the wall. Who'd know I'm married if my left hand wasn't readily visible? Or is the presumption that anyone old enough that she ought to be married should wear a scarf? (I wore one to avoid offense, not because I believe it's required of me.)

I didn't get pushed to put a scarf on, and I was definitely old enough to be married.

To the best of my knowledge, the "rules" are the same at the Wall as anywhere else for heads being covered, but it's more likely that there will be 'frum police' encouraging head covering for those who would traditionally be required to do so, but don't otherwise.

I felt this connection with something bigger than myself -- history, God, the nation of Israel, I'm not really sure.

I think that's a big part of it. It's the concept of a pilgrimage. God clearly can hear our prayers regardless of location but when we undertake a journey (physically or sometimes just spiritually), make ourselves more receptive and we open ourselves up to God in a way that we might not have been before.

I'm glad your trip is going so well!

Pilgrimage -- good point!

I have always treasured my first experience at the Wall for teaching me much needed humility.

Please understand, I was a rather spiritual child. By which I mean I have always felt the presence of God as matter of factly as I feel a warm breeze in spring. As far back as I can remember, I have been aware of God about me and in all the ways the universe unfolds. It's just there, like the other nested patterns that make up the universe. That doesn't negate free will, mind. But it took me a very long time to discover that most people don't perceive God (or the rest of the universe for that matter) in the same way.

So when we went ot Israel, and I at age 17, to visit my older brother in Yeshivah, I (and my family) were looking forward with great expectation to visitng the Wall. Having been conditioned from youth with a zionist/religious education that saw Jerusalem and the Wall as the center of the Universe, I was convinced Something Important would happen.

We came at erev Shabbat. The sun was setting, a procession from Yeshivat Hakotel (my brother's yeshiva) singing down the steps. My father urged me to work my way forward to the Wall itself to have whatever experience awaited me . . .
(con't)

And, when I got to the Wall . . . .

A pigeon pooped on me.

I turned around, and I saw a bus load of Japanese tourists wearing their identical "timbul" orange hats, snapping pictures. I could almost here the imaginary "look at the cute natives in their religious ritual. Quick, get a picture of that!"

I have been to the Wall many times since, and always found myself awed and in sych with the air of spiritualty that eminates from it (for me). But I have never forgotten my first time. And I have often blessed the Lord in my heart for a much needed lesson in humility and my proper place in the universe.

Wow, what a great story! Thanks for sharing that.

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the western wall

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Touching the Wall

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Re: Touching the Wall

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My first time was a bit different . . . .

Re: My first time was a bit different . . . .

Re: My first time was a bit different . . . .