daf bit: Ketuvot 61

[cellio]

A mishna teaches: if a married man makes a vow of celibacy, Beit Shammai says his wife must tolerate it for two weeks. Beit Hillel says one week. Rav says that this is only so when the man specifies a duration for the vow; if he does not, Rav says that both Shammai and Hillel require him to immediately divorce his wife and pay her ketubah. Samuel permits him to delay the divorce while looking for a way to be excused from the vow. (61b)

(There is no discussion here of limits on the duration, but I'll bet there is later in the gemara. Oh, and I don't know who Samuel is.)

This same mishna also gives the requirements for how often a man owes his wife intercourse (if she wants it), by the way. It varies by occupation, ranging from daily for men who don't work at all to every six months for sailors. I don't see scholars on the list. :-)

Comments

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

It is important to remember that this is not automatic. This is an issue that my wife and I have dealt with, since she cannot have sex, and we therefore have never had sex in the eight years we've been married, at least for the definitions of "sex" generally used in these contexts. However -- and we DID run this by our rabbi -- I am not REQUIRED to divorce her; it is just GROUNDS for divorce if I wanted to. Which I don't.

[nsingman.livejournal.com]

That's a very good point. I didn't think it was automatic or required, and am glad to know that your rabbi confirmed this. However, I was referring to situations in which sex (in these contexts) was possible, but willfully denied by a recalcitrant spouse. A "won't" rather than "can't" situation, in essence.