daf bit: Nedarim 13

[cellio]

When a man seeks to anul a vow, the court must find some cause for regret of the vow. The court must not hold as a reason that the vow is derogatory to his mother's dignity, but must find some other source. Why? Because this is too easy, and allowing it would encourage people to make vows lightly because they can be easily anulled. (Making vows was generally discouraged.) (13b)

(I would have thought that because of kibud av v'eim, honor your father and mother, there would be strong reason to accept "this dishonors my mother" as justification. I suspect the rabbis, in addition to trying to make it harder to make vows, are also trying to make people less casual and more thoughtful in evaluating parental honor.)

Comments

[osewalrus.livejournal.com]

I would have thought that because of kibud av v'eim, honor your father and mother, there would be strong reason to accept "this dishonors my mother" as justification. I suspect the rabbis, in addition to trying to make it harder to make vows, are also trying to make people less casual and more thoughtful in evaluating parental honor.

In both ways. In the first instance, you should not vow without considered whether such a vow would injure your mother's dignity. But in addition, you should not use your mother's dignity as an excuse to evade an obligation you now find onerous.

[talvinamarich.livejournal.com]

How literally/strictly are we to take this? I ask because I note it specifically says "mother". To me, this would tend to imply that a vow that would offend the dignity of the father could be used as a reason to anull.

However, there may be cultural undertones that I don't get. :)

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

Who knew that "Your Mama!" was Jewish? :-) :-)

Not looking at the Hebrew, I suspect the term "regret of the vow" is likely needing expansion or a better term. Most of us regret having to "pay the freight" on our agreements. We do it, as the right thing to do, but we are free to feel regretful.