daf bit: Nedarim 33

[cellio]

The mishnah teaches: if a man has vowed not to benefit from his neighbor, the neighbor may still pay his shekel (temple tax), settle his debts (if the debtor does not otherwise benefit), or return a lost item to him. The gemara compares these acts to driving away a lion -- a neighborly act. (33a)

(Today is really daf 34, but the discussion there is pretty complicated, with no good entry points.)

Comments

[magid.livejournal.com]

I guess my assumption is that a vow is a huge deal, so while vowing not to eat the neighbor's food gives you a really legitimate reason not to eat it (in the sense that you've got a ready-made excuse), it just leads up the chain to why one felt it necessary to make that vow. Which the neighbor could figure out, presumably.

I think my understanding of how vows work in interpersonal dynamics is not the headspace the Mishnah is working in...

[cellio]

I suspect that neither of us is in the mishnah's headspace, yes.

I'm imagining a conversation like this one as possibly justifying such a vow:

"Honey, I know you're good friends with Peter Peter Bacon-Eater, but I'm just not comfortable with you spending time there, especially with our kids along."

"I vow not to eat anything, and to use this to teach the kids tact while keeping to the law."