daf bit: Nedarim 48

[cellio]

The mishna discusses using an intermediary to get around a vow. Suppose a father has vowed not to benefit from his son. His son wants to host a banquet for his own son's wedding, and the mishna proposes that he give the banquet (that is, the resources to pay for it) to a neighbor on the condition that his father be invited. The gemara debates whether this is valid, and concludes that if he says "so that my father can come" it is legal but if he says "on condition that my father can come", it is not a legitimate gift. The decision must be left to the recipient, but the giver is allowed to make a request. (48b)

Comments

Re: Tangential, but significant I think:

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

The Rambam (Moses Maimonides, 12th-century big-name scholar) outlines eight levels of "charity" (the word's complicated; that'll do), with the top of the list being to teach someone a trade. That's pretty different from "give lots of money to the poor" -- which is also called for, but handouts are inferior to helping people get on track so they don't feel beholden to anybody.

There's also the common thread through the lower levels that the less possibility of the giver & receiver knowing each other's identities the better, so as not to make the giver feel more powerful (socially) or the receiver feel in debt or less powerful.