daf bit: Nedarim 48

[cellio]

The mishna discusses using an intermediary to get around a vow. Suppose a father has vowed not to benefit from his son. His son wants to host a banquet for his own son's wedding, and the mishna proposes that he give the banquet (that is, the resources to pay for it) to a neighbor on the condition that his father be invited. The gemara debates whether this is valid, and concludes that if he says "so that my father can come" it is legal but if he says "on condition that my father can come", it is not a legitimate gift. The decision must be left to the recipient, but the giver is allowed to make a request. (48b)

Comments

Tangential, but significant I think:

[talvinamarich.livejournal.com]

The gemara debates whether this is valid, and concludes that if he says "so that my father can come" it is legal but if he says "on condition that my father can come", it is not a legitimate gift. The decision must be left to the recipient, but the giver is allowed to make a request. (48b)

I may be stretching it a bit, here, but in this I find something about Jewish culture that has had a positive impact on our feelings toward Jews (as compared to some other religions).

Jane is blind.

Because Jane is blind, people feel they ought to give her things. Clothes. Money. Occasionally "assistive devices" that are more hindrance or joke than help. (Yes. A story there. A few of them.)

A popular viewpoint among Christians is that they MUST help, and that by extension, Jane MUST accept. If Jane says "No thank you" or "I am not comfortable with that" or even "That really would not be very helpful to me", they take it as a cue to turn up the pressure. They also tend to take the view that now that you have "accepted" (I pushed it into your hand over your protests) a "gift" from me, you should come to my church, accede to other demands, etc.

When a Jewish...ah...samaritan-with-lower-case-s-used-in-a-secular-sense approaches her, however, that person usually (not always! Some Southern Jews have been contaminated by their Baptist neighbors!) understands that a gift is just that: a gift, no strings attached. It doesn't obligate the recipient to do something, to change their values or way of life, or even really to accept it.

I was discussing this a few years ago with one of our friends, and I told her that I wonder if it is because the mentions of Blindness in the Old Testament tend more toward (and I can't quote the exact passage here) "not putting obstacles in the way of a blind man", while the New Testament makes much of the miracles of laying on hands, healing the blind, and showing them the One True Way.

She agreed that could be part of it. Here, I see another part.

Regardless, when we have needed assistance, we have tended to turn to those Jewish s-w-l-c-s-u-i-a-s-s types. They understand the difference between "a legitimate gift" and "The Bible told me to run your life because you have a disability."

OK, sorry, that was a bit rant-like. But this made me think of it. :)