how good do we have to be?

[cellio]

I attended a talk tonight by Rabbi Harold Kushner, who is best known for When Bad Things Happen to Good People. This talk was based around a different book, How Good Do We Have To Be?. The talk was engaging, and motivates me to seek out the book.

I'm not going to try to summarize. Instead, here are some short takes (my attempts to capture what he said):

The torah tells us that in Gan Eden, there were two trees in the center of the garden. A midrash asks: how can two objects occupy the same spot? The torah does not, after all, say that the two trees were near the center; it says in the center, and the torah speaks precisely. So, according to this midrash, the tree of life grew from the center of the tree of knowledge of good and evil -- you need knowledge to gain life. Interesting midrash -- at odds with those that say that had they not eaten from the one they would have had eternal life, but midrashim sometimes contradict each other.

Pop quiz: what is the first use of the word "sin" in the torah? It's not eating the fruit; original sin is a Christian concept. (This sentence inserted to give you a chance to answer.) Ready? Kayin (Cain) -- not the murder of his brother, but the jealousy that led to the murder. Interesting.

Guilt is about what you did. Shame is about what you are. For minor guilt you can sometimes talk people out of it; for major guilt you can't, but can sometimes temper it by giving the person something to do (giving tzedakah, etc). Shame doesn't work that way; people need acknowledgement that yes, we know you're like that, and that's ok. Best response he's seen to shame: 12-step programs.

There are four people in every marriage: the man, the woman he thought he was marrying, the woman, and the man she thought she was marrying. A marriage doesn't survive on attraction; it survives on the ability to forgive, to put happiness above righteousness (maybe he said "rightness", but I don't think so).

If you can't get angry at someone, you can't love him. Moshe is angry at God in D'varim and then tells Yisrael "v'ahavta..." -- you shall love God with all your heart, with all your might, and with all your being.

This sounds like kind of a hodge-podge. The talk wasn't, and I'm guessing the book isn't. I wish this had been in a setting where taking notes would have been seen as appropriate. (It was a synagogue sanctuary, not a classroom or lecture hall.) I jotted down a couple things on the back of my ticket, but the rest is from memory.

Comments

[dvarin.livejournal.com]

Is the word different in Hebrew? I mean, in English we have no problem interpreting two trees being in the center as there being a central clearing or copse or basin containing those two trees (and possibly others), because 'center' doesn't usually mean 'exact geometrical center'. Or perhaps the trees were timesharing. Like, the Tree of Life is there most of the time, except for three months in the winter when it vacations in Aruba and rents its plot to the Tree of Knowledge.

[cellio]

I think the rabbis are being hyper-literal. They do that sometimes. :-)

Like, the Tree of Life is there most of the time, except for three months in the winter when it vacations in Aruba and rents its plot to the Tree of Knowledge.

*laugh*