daf bit: Gittin 76

[cellio]

The mishna teaches: if a man says to his wife "this is your get (bill of divorce) if I do not return within twelve months" and he dies in that year, it is not a valid get and she is not divorced. However, if he says "this is your get from now if I do not return", and he dies, it is a valid get. The mishna later makes clear that a get's "effective date" must fall within the lifetime of the man issuing it. (76b)

I have heard anecdotally, though I don't know how common it was, that men would sometimes write gets before setting out on dangerous journeys, lest they be killed but that not be provable (e.g. sea voyages). That would be to avoid the problem of the agunah, the woman who cannot remarry because she has no get (and it cannot be proven that her husband is dead). I suspect that the mishna here is discussing that sort of case, though it does not say so explicitly. (Why else would someone set up a time-delay divorce?)

Comments

[goljerp]

First of all, Congratulations.

I don't know if a "civil ketubah" really makes that much sense -- it's basically a prenup, just one in aramaic. If you wanted "jewish trappings", some things that I've seen at civil ceremonies have been:

* Chuppah (wedding canopy). A friend of mine who's into crafts spent about a year creating her own; if this isn't the kind of thing you're into, I'm sure you can get one pre-made
* Breaking a glass at the end (or a lightbulb - louder pop). Just a warning: be sure to get a *fragile* glass, and step on the open part
* Wine during the ceremony -- have someone do kiddush during the ceremony