strange Pesach conversations

[cellio]

(Gentile) coworker: When we realized that the pot-luck dinner was during Pesach, we decided to try our best to accommodate the Jewish attendees. So we kashered the oven, boiled the utensils, used a foil pan, etc... but I didn't kasher the drill bit.

Drill bit?

Spade bit, he said -- for coring the pears.

Some of you guys probably sigh when software geeks like me go off on something. What makes software geeks sigh? Hardware geeks. :-)

(Ok, ok -- it's clever, and he says you can do a dozen pears or apples in under a minute so it's efficient for large-scale prep. I suppose if I happened to have a drill lying around in my kitchen...)

Another coworker caught the last part of this and asked if wood is kosher. (That being the only substance the bit had been in contact with.) I said it's a plant, so I guess so.

(Yes, I know -- none of this addresses whether the drill bit -- or anything else in this story -- has been to a mikveh.)

* * *

Someone: Is there a market for kosher-for-Pesach pet food?

Me: Surely. But I handle the problem a different way. The food belongs to the cats, who are not Jewish.

Someone: You sold the food to the cats?

Me: No, they aren't valid buyers. I gave it to them.

* * *

Me to guest for Wednesday lunch: Any food allergies?

Guest: I can't eat gluten -- bread, noodles, oats...

Me: So this is pretty much the perfect time for me to invite you?

(I didn't ask what she does about the matzah that must be eaten at the seder.)

Comments

[magid.livejournal.com]

There is gluten-free oat matza. It costs an arm and a leg (about $33 per 1-lb box around here).

[cellio]

$33 a pound?! Yikes. You'd almost want to just buy it by the sheet at those prices... (Except, of course, no one would be selling it that way.)

[magid.livejournal.com]

There were boxes available more cheaply online, though the per ounce price might have been more: high teens to low twenties for a box with just 3 sheets of handmade oat matza.

[tashabear.livejournal.com]

The drill bit to core pears was on

Good Eats

-- the episode about vanilla, IIRC.

[cellio]

He did mention Alton Brown as the source, yes. (Didn't know which episode.)

[kyleri]

*mad laughter*

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Oat matzah has less gluten than regular matzah. Spelt matzah works for some people. It's still got SOME gluten, but less, and the gluten is slightly different, somehow. I don't understand how it works, but I know my mother can eat spelt matzah, even though she's sensitive to gluten.

So most people who are sensitive to gluten can deal with it by using spelt or oat matzah and eating the absolute halachic minimum to fulfil the mitzvah.

[cellio]

It makes sense that different grains would have different levels of gluten. I hadn't thought about it. (And I don't know enough about any of this to have instincts for quality differences.)

[paquerette.livejournal.com]

Oats do not naturally contain gluten but many are contaminated in processing so you can't get just any oats. Bob's Red Mill, among others, does certified gluten-free oats.

[richardf8]

On point the first - I made Lamb Tagine for first night. Used a hammer to crush whole cloves. It had never been used with chametz, but for those who care, the hammers and lineman's pliers are fleishig, the Jigsaw is parve. I've never had to take had or power tools to anything dairy.

On point the second, there is KLP pet food available in the Chicago area.

On point the third, one gluten free guest goes with corn tortillas. Oat matzah is prohibitive in cost, though one year I will provide it for him. I thicken with rice flour (Potato Starch is not an option for me) when I have him at my Seder.

[cellio]

Tools: *laugh*

When I need to bring extra force to bear on a problem, I usually put the target in a sealed bag first. That way I can crush nuts (or whatever) without having to chase the escapees. That this has the effect of preserving the status of the tool hadn't occurred to me.

(My best "rolling pin" for this sort of thing is actually a particular glass bottle, long since devoid of its contents, that I keep on hand. My (wooden) rolling pin isn't heavy enough for crushing things, and I don't use a rolling pin often enough to go out and get a marble one.)

[hlinspjalda.livejournal.com]

The drill bit makes perfect sense to me. It also reminds me of the story about Rufus cutting the frozen cheese with the circular saw....

I like the solution to the petfood issue!

[cellio]

I don't know this Rufus story. There was no time to thaw it?

The pet-food solution is real, actually. Sometimes I'll trade food with a coworker, if either of us found something interesting or our cats have gotten picky after we bought a bunch of a previously-favored flavor, or something like that. Can't do that with anything currently in the house. And yes, I did make a declaration transferring ownership before nullifying chametz.

[dvarin.livejournal.com]

Are you still their distribution manager? Or, hm, I guess the more proper phrasing would be holding it in trust and doling it out as an annuity. (Er, only for days instead of years. Dieity?)

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

re the pet food: My parents used to buy non-kosher baby food of various meat/poultry flavors because (a) given that it was meant for people it had to contain only the ingredients on the label (pureed meat, water) and anything else was nullified by the pre-pesach declaration and (b) non-kosher doesn't matter for the cats. Nowadays they buy kosher-for-pesach cat food with a neighbor (since neither household's cat eats enough to finish a bag).

[cellio]

That's a good idea. Canned tuna would also work. (In this case, one of the cats has enough health problems that I really can't vary from his normal foods for a week, so even if I had the special KfP food, it's not clear I could use it for him.)

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

You mean "Fascinating Pesach Conversations".

[dagonell.livejournal.com]

Of course the cats paid you for the canned food. What did you think all those mice were for? It's not their fault you don't have convertion tables for their currency! :D
-- Dagonell

[magid.livejournal.com]

FTW!

[cellio]

Oh, good point!