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short takes
The husband of a member of the Debatable Choir posted video from our Pennsic performance.
I didn't know enough chemistry to fully parse this
geeky comic
by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ohiblather, but I still laughed out loud when I saw it.
xiphias reports
research that seems
to be begging for an IgNobel award. As he points out, it's worthy
because first it makes you laugh and then it makes you think. I mean,
what publishable conclusion would you expect from researchers
doing an MRI on a dead salmon?
I feel fortunate that "talk like a pirate day" fell on Rosh Hashana, meaning
I was shielded from most of the antics. But I enjoyed
top ten
halachic problems for a Jewish pirate, forwarded by dglenn.
Should I be worried that I have defensible answers for several of them?
Fun website mash-ups
from metahacker and others. From one of the comments:
"OKAmazon: People who had sex with this person also liked..."
Signal boost: kyleri makes hand creams, lip balms, soaps, and
similar items, and she is currently
having a sale.
I bought some of her creams at Pennsic and am happy with the results.
I haven't turned off the spelling checker in Firefox on this machine yet because I do sometimes make typos that it catches, but this post almost made me do so. :-)
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You place t'fillin on the weaker arm. The stronger arm is considered to be the one you write with. Unless the pirate has learned to write with a hook, this means the t'fillin go on the arm with the hook. I am not sure what the law is in the case of one who is illiterate.
Does your treasure map show how far the eruv extends?
I don't know; do you usually make an eiruv around buried treasure? I wouldn't; you have to wait until after Shabbat to carry it out anyway...
How long do you wait till after capturing a ship to put up a mezzuzah in the cabin?
Do you intend to occupy the ship? If it is your residence, you must do so immediately. If it is merely a vehicle or a temporary dwelling, you don't need one at all. We recommend having a non-Jewish crew member sail the ship home if you do not intend to keep it.
If Kalhua doesnt have a hashgacha, what rum do you make kiddush on?
(Kalhua isn't a rum. ?) You make kiddush on a good drink, one suitable for sanctifying the day, but you need not open a new barrel even if it is higher quality than your current stock. So the rum you have on hand will be fine.
Is owning a parrot assur cause it may cause you to speak loshon hora?
A parrot repeats what it hears. You should ensure that it hears words of torah.
Do you take maaser on an unlocked treasure chest? worse, what if there is chas vshalom, chometz in there!?
(1) Yes. (2) We recommend against piracy during Pesach to avoid this problem. (The rest of the year, who cares if there's chametz? Surely you can hold off for eight days, at least four of which you couldn't work anyway? (Note: I am assuming an Ashkenazi pirate from the spelling, hence eight rather than seven days.))
Do you cover your eye patch with your hand when you say Shema?
This is not a matter of halacha but of minhag (custom). You may but need not.
Are you able to carry on the plank on shabbos? If your parrot is on your shoulder, is that carrying?
The plank is part of your dwelling, like your porch is, so you may carry so long as you don't drop things over the edge. As for the parrot, a fascinating question: I think that if you put it there it is carrying, but if it perches there of its own accord while you move around you might be ok. I am not sure.
Is your pirate hat a zachor l'hamentashen? Can you wear a leather boot on your peg leg on Yom Kippur?
(1) Maybe. This, too, is not a matter of halacha. (2) You should avoid doing so for the sake of marit ayin, but since the prohibition on leather derives from issues of comfort, you could make a case that it does not apply to a peg leg.
Are you sorry you asked? :-)
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Sephardim keep Pesach the same amount of time as Ashkanazim, that being 7 days in Israel & 8 days elsewhere.
The plank is an interesting case. If it is large enough to have a 4 tefach by 4 tefach hole in it, and one can hang 10 tefach walls from it, one could draw things from the sea by means of this hole. This is unlikely with a plank, but possible (and actually discussed with regard to a balcony over the sea). If the plank is less than 4 tefachim wide (or long), I am unsure if it is significant enough to constitute a reshut hayachid, even as an extension of the ship.
Animals and small children are assumed to carry themselves, but rabbinicaly one is enjoined from carrying them without need ("We are going home now, Sally. You may not stay at the park." is sufficient need) Unless there is a need to bring the parrot around with you, you probably should not carry it without an eruv. If there is a single owner of the ship you are aboard, or an eruv chatzerot is made, this becomes less of a concern.
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Sephardim keep Pesach the same amount of time as Ashkanazim, that being 7 days in Israel & 8 days elsewhere.
I was taking an unwarranted shortcut: if you use Ashkenazi pronunciation then the odds are very good that you are not living in Israel. Sephardim of course could be anywhere, including Israel. I should have filled it in. (I was trying not to go over the character count for comments, but that was not a good place to conserve.)
Plank + hole: I didn't know that. Thank you for educating me.
Animals and small children are assumed to carry themselves, but rabbinicaly one is enjoined from carrying them without need
I thought there was a prohibition on baby slings because of carrying. Of course, that suggests a degree of premeditation that might not apply in your playground example. It's one thing to pick up the resistant kid, and perhaps another to leave your house carrying the kid in the first place.
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