sunk costs

[cellio]

Friday I closed a (previously-)permanent browser tab. A web site that I've been quite active in helping to build over the last year has gone in an unpleasant direction in recent months with no sign of improvement, and recently the badness has accelerated. Badly-behaved people do not have my permission to live rent-free in my brain, so it was time to sadly say "enough" and move on. (No, I won't be naming the site here. It's nothing I've ever promoted in this journal, to be clear.)

This was hard because I struggle with sunk costs. In principle I know that once you've spent money or time or effort on something it's gone and you can't get it back -- so if it's not paying dividends, hanging on "to preserve your investment" does not help. There's no such thing. If it's a faulty product and you can possibly get some of your money back that's one thing, but otherwise, sunk costs are gone and should not affect current decisions. This idea usually applies to investments (if the stock is tanking and you don't think it'll change, get rid of it), but sunk costs aren't just about money.

Yeah, intellectually I know all that, but it was still hard to close that browser tab. I want the time I spent on that site to matter; I want to feel good about what we built. It was hard to start to walk away from the SCA years ago too -- same principle, though measured in years rather than months. (I'm still minimally active, but I choose carefully what I want to do.) And historically I have had a great deal of trouble leaving jobs that are no longer fulfilling because I've invested in them. In all of these cases the answer is to be happy for the good times and recognize that things change and that can mean that things you invested in are no longer worth sticking around for. My intellect knows this; could it please arrange to convince my heart of it too?

Comments

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

Much sympathy. I also have trouble "walking away", although there was one case where I actually told someone who I had been close friends with for years that I didn't want them in my life anymore as they were, although I did leave open the possibility that if they changed and they wanted back in then they could ask... That was more than 10 years ago and I haven't heard from them since, and I honestly don't miss them (or even think about them very often) anymore.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Good on you for not allowing the free real estate to the jerks...I really understand.

I have similar issues with sunk costs of my time and caring. It's hard, and sometimes you just have to just grit your teeth and let go of something even though you still have ties to it. That part is easier said than done!

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Tagged for memory.

[dragonazure.livejournal.com]

It is always tough walk away from something you've invested a lot of time/emotion/money/etc. into. However, sometimes those things are energy vampires/money pits and need to be walked away from.

When the issue is financial, the decision is easier. Emotional investments are harder to relieve yourself from, and because the choice to involve yourself in the first place isn't always rational, it makes sense that trying to move on isn't always rational either....

my sympathy!

[meiravberale.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, it's hard to walk away, but it sounds like sinking even more time and energy into it would be a waste. It's hard to say goodbye to the hopes, I think - the hopes you had for what could come of it. fwiw, you have my sympathy.