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Mi Yodeya field trip: synagogue notes
Friday we went to KMS (Kemp Mill) for kabbalat shabbat. There were several women there -- way more than I've seen Friday night in any Orthodox synagogue in Pittsburgh, where I've often been the only one (awkward!). The mechitzah (division between the men's and women's sections) was reasonably friendly -- down the center rather than pushing the women to the back, and not so high as to block view of the front of the room. There was a lot of singing (led by the youth group, if I recall correctly); I recognized some of the melodies and could sing along with pretty much everything, invoking my knack for singing along on the first verse with a song I've never heard before. The community felt warm and friendly. A woman gave a short d'var torah.
Saturday morning we'd thought to go to the other large synagogue (Shomrei), in part because their well-regarded rabbi would be giving the d'var torah, but logistics happened and we went to KMS instead. This time we were in the main sanctuary (we'd been in a smaller room the night before), again with a friendly layout. They run a very efficient service: the morning was about two hours, and that might be the first time I've seen a full (Orthodox) torah service come in under 45 minutes. Part of it is that they don't do long-winded mi sheberachs after each aliya like some places, and part of it is that people knew when they were supposed to be where and didn't dawdle. The leining (chanting) was also pretty fast.
They had the d'var torah after the end of the service. Since the service was over the mechitzah was no longer necessary, so they lowered it -- the top part could be lowered with the flick of a lever. I don't know if that is a reason for this timing or a consequence of it, but I took positive note.
The d'var was given by another woman and was excellent. She talked for about 12-14 minutes, starting by talking about Yosef, transitioning into the values of Chanukah, and ending up at education values. I haven't retained as much of it as I'd've liked and I don't know if she's published it anywhere yet. Bummer, but that part's par for the course on Shabbat. (Yes, I know I'm guilty of doing this to other people too. Sorry. I will try to be better about that.)
Toward the end of Shabbat we headed over to Shomrei for mincha (afternoon service) and ma'ariv (evening service), between which their rabbi was going to give a class about Chanukah. When we entered the building someone told me there are two women's sections, one in a balcony and one on the main floor. I headed for the downstairs one and almost immediately realized that was a mistake; it was tucked in the back corner of the room (so hard to hear), and the mechitzah was tall and opaque so I wasn't going to see anything either. No one else was there. So I found the stairs and headed up to the balcony, where I could sit in the front center and be able to see and hear. There was one other woman there, and a couple more came in later.
The rabbi's class was mainly a question-and-answer session about the laws of Chanukah, mainly things having to do with the chanukiyah (Chanukah menorah) and candle-lighting. We talked about what to do if you're not at home, about timing, about people who live in apartment buildings, and assorted other stuff. I asked one question (and felt welcome to do so).
Sunday we went to the earlier morning service at KMS so I could take my hosts out for breakfast and still drive home in daylight. We were in the main sanctuary again, and as on Shabbat, it was a efficient service. There were a few women. I was the only one wearing pants, oops. (I'd worn skirts on Shabbat, but I don't consider that practical for everyday wear -- what are you supposed to do without good pockets??)
A couple observations:
First, none of the services felt rushed, but I do not know how people pray that quickly. I couldn't keep up without vocalizing everything, while the service leader was spitting out the Hebrew cleanly and clearly. I guess it comes in time? But on the other hand, if I haven't gotten it by now...
They sure do a lot of kaddishes. If I recall correctly, at the end of the Sunday-morning service there was a bit of torah learning followed by kaddish d'rabbanan, and I came away with the impression that the former was there mainly to justify the latter. (Kaddish is said at certain points in the service, mainly to act as a division, but it also may be said after any learning.) Unlike in Reform services, kaddish is said either by one person or the mourners as a group. I found myself wondering how that's coordinated -- who gets which ones, how do they know, and if you particularly want one that day, how do you signal that?
Both of these synagogues -- and, now that I think about it, several other Orthodox synagogues I've been to -- had a bunch of different siddurim (prayer books). The content is basically the same in all of them, but sometimes there are minor variations, they may or may not include English translations (which may or may not vary subtly), they may or may not contain commentary, and so on. This has a few consequences:
- You actually get, and have to make, a choice. Friday night I just took a book; it was all Hebrew, no English translation. That's fine for the prayers (I'm going to do those in Hebrew anyway), but I had to work a little more at navigation.
- Some people bring their own, an option that simply had not occurred to me.
- Because not everybody is using the same book, and also I assume because there's an assumption that if you're there you're fluent (which breaks down in some individual cases, of course), they don't call out instructions or page numbers -- you're just expected to be able to follow. I can do that for a Shabbat or weekday service, but might be challenged to do so on, say, the high holy days.
I'm glad I got the opportunity to experience all that.
Re: Siddurim
As for fluency, yes, in an Orthodox synagogue, you're typically expected to be fluent enough to find where you need to be at any given point.
Yup. For me the challenge wasn't being fluent in the service (I know my way around a Shabbat morning service, for instance) but, rather, knowing the particular siddur. Sometimes there are jumps, and sometimes they're organized a little differently. If you know the siddur, or bring your own, you never have to worry about that. Presumably, over time, one learns the specifics of all the siddurim that the congregation stocks, and then you just choose what you like.
Thanks for the hint about the page-number sign for unusual days. Now that you mention it I've seen that before.
Actually, now that I think about it, there was one point on Shabbat -- can't remember if it was morning or mincha -- when I was a bit mystified about where we were. But a minute or two later I heard something I could use as a milepost and got back on track. So no harm done. When I was less fluent I'd just listen for the next kaddish. :-)
Re: Siddurim
(Anonymous) 2014-12-22 02:39 am (UTC)(link)"For me the challenge wasn't being fluent in the service (I know my way around a Shabbat morning service, for instance) but, rather, knowing the particular siddur."
Most Orthodox Siddurim follow the same rules, within traditions of course. Ashkenaz will differ from Sephard, which will differ from Sephardi. But Young Israel of South Beach (if there is one) will follow the same order of things as Aish HaTorah of Las Vegas. Which is why it matters little, but for personal preference, which Siddur you pick up from the shelf. It helps for your own confidence, if you're a non-Orthodox visitor, if you find that everyone is using the same edition. But in reality, if you've got a handle on the order of things, you can make assumptions about the relative location in any Siddur of where to find the prayer currently being recited.