Purim Torah

[cellio]

It's Purim Torah season at Mi Yodeya, where, in addition to the regular, serious questions, we also welcome parody questions. Our policy (yes, we have a policy) says:

It's gotta be distinctly "Purim" (not serious), distinctly Torah, and distinctly Q&A. Purim Torah questions that don't have all three of these qualities may be closed.

So, post sincere-looking questions (you know, the kind that invite answers) that:

• misinterpret a real Torah concept or Jewish text, or
• apply a distinctly Torah style (e.g. Talmudic analysis) to an irrelevant topic

Here's a sampling from this year. Purim Torah is welcome through this week, so feel free to join in.

• If Rabbi Google quotes Mi Yodeya, can i rely on his advice?
• How can I connect with God on Facebook?
• Using the Force on Shabbat, for Jewish Jedis.
• What kind of horns did Moshe have? (my first Purim Torah question)
• Why didn't Adam use the pen of earth? -- based on a misunderstanding of the first verse of the torah and the observation that the pen is mightier than the sword so he should have been able to get back into the garden
• For whom should I vote? (US presidential election 2016), seeking biblical or talmudic sources only
• Seeking texts of all prayers associated with the clock change (also links to other questions about time-shifting)
• What is the bracha when one eats the torah? -- "I keep seeing all these questions which discuss "Purim Torah, Ingest" but they don't seem to address the rules of actually ingesting the Torah." (What's a little homophone among friends?)
• And from the same person who, last year, asked Why don't Jews accept Our Lord and Savior? (I'm pretty happy with my answer there), we have another provocative-seeming question: What's the source/reason for allowing gay marriage for synagogue leaders?

There are a lot more, over 250 from this and past years.

Comments

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

I'm not registered there, and it looks like it'll be a nuisance on my phone. Would you please post this for me?:

The Arcturan kdopht has nine legs, in three rows. The three left and three right hooves are cloven (in thirds), but the midline hooves are more like the surface of a rough file, with innumerable small points protruding from a solid block of hoof. Its diet is purely vegetarian, insofar as the term can be applied to Arcturan biota. After eating, it regurgitates straight upward and catches (most of) the semi-digested mass in its mouth, then chews it over again before swallowing (via a separate throat) to complete the process of digestion. Is the kdopht kosher, assuming of course proper shechita and kashering?