more about Steve

Thank you everyone for the condolences.

I went to the funeral today. It was packed! There was no real mingle-space; it was go in, sit down, wait for service. So I didn't get a good sense of who all the people were -- many coworkers, probably some colleagues from CMU and maybe elsewhere, and of course family. Oh, and I assume some people from the congregation, though I didn't spot anyone I knew.

My rabbi gave a really good eulogy, blending the many aspects of Steve's life. Ok, I've never heard him give a eulogy before so I have no baseline, but it sounded good to me. (This was my first Jewish funeral, too.)

The burial was private, but my company had arranged to take over the back room of a nearby restaurant so we could spend some time together. I didn't realize until I was leaving that we'd spilled over into a second room, which would explain the apparent absence of people I'd expected to see there.

Steve's Hebrew name was Tzadik. It fits.

I went to tonight's shiva minyan and it, too, was packed. We ended up holding it out on the porch because of geometry and weather. I wonder if the first night will have been abnormally large or if it'll be that big every night. (I've seen this go both ways.)

I held up well through all of this. I think I've gotten past the first couple stages. What's supposed to come after denial and anger? I think I've made it to acceptance, actually; I mean, it sucks and things are going to be rough, but he's gone and there's nothing to be done about that.

I think part of why this hit me kind of hard was the timing. ( Read more... )