strange Pesach conversations

(Gentile) coworker: When we realized that the pot-luck dinner was during Pesach, we decided to try our best to accommodate the Jewish attendees. So we kashered the oven, boiled the utensils, used a foil pan, etc... but I didn't kasher the drill bit.

Drill bit?

Spade bit, he said -- for coring the pears.

Some of you guys probably sigh when software geeks like me go off on something. What makes software geeks sigh? Hardware geeks. :-)

(Ok, ok -- it's clever, and he says you can do a dozen pears or apples in under a minute so it's efficient for large-scale prep. I suppose if I happened to have a drill lying around in my kitchen...)

Another coworker caught the last part of this and asked if wood is kosher. (That being the only substance the bit had been in contact with.) I said it's a plant, so I guess so.

(Yes, I know -- none of this addresses whether the drill bit -- or anything else in this story -- has been to a mikveh.)

* * *

Someone: Is there a market for kosher-for-Pesach pet food?

Me: Surely. But I handle the problem a different way. The food belongs to the cats, who are not Jewish.

Someone: You sold the food to the cats?

Me: No, they aren't valid buyers. I gave it to them.

* * *

Me to guest for Wednesday lunch: Any food allergies?

Guest: I can't eat gluten -- bread, noodles, oats...

Me: So this is pretty much the perfect time for me to invite you?

(I didn't ask what she does about the matzah that must be eaten at the seder.)