daf bit: Chullin 60

The emperor of Rome (I don't know which one) once said to R. Yehoshua ben Hananiah: your God has been likened to a lion; show me this lion. R. Yehoshua said: that was no ordinary lion but the lion of Belalil. I will see it, the emperor said. So R. Yehoshua prayed and the lion set out from its place. When it was 400 parasangs away it roared once and all pregnant women miscarried and the walls of Rome fell. When it was 300 parasangs away it roared again and all the molars and incisors of men fell out and the emperor fell from his throne to the ground. I beseech you, he said, ask it to go home; R. Yehoshua prayed and it did.

Another time the emperor said to him: I wish to see your God. You can't, R. Yehoshua replied. But I will, the emperor said. So he placed the emperor facing the sun at the summer solstice and told him to look at it. I can't, the emperor said. R. Yehoshua said: the sun is but one of the ministers attending to God; if you can't even look at it then how can you presume to look upon the divine presence?

Another time the emperor said: I will prepare a feast for your God. You can't. Why not? His attendants are too numerous. But I will. Ok, R. Yehoshua said, prepare it on the spacious banks of Rebita. The emperor spent the six months of summer preparing and a tempest came and swept it all away; he then spent the six months of winter preparing and rains came and washed it all away. He asked: what is the meaning of this? R. Yehoshua said: they are just the sweepers and sprinklers that come before God. Then, the emperor said, I cannot do it.

The emperor's daughter once said to him: your God is a carpenter ("who lays the beams of his upper chambers in the waters"), so ask him to make for me a spool. Very well, he said, and he prayed. She was smitten with leprosy, and, per Roman tradition, was removed to the open square and given a spool to wind skeins on. (This was apparently so people would see her and pray for her.) One day R. Yehoshua passed by and said to her: my God has given you a beautiful spool! She said: I pray you, ask him to take back what he has given me. He replied: our God grants a request, but when granted he never takes it back. (59b-60a)

household mysteries

Household mystery #1: Dani and I both take multi-vitamins so we just share a jar. (And by the way, do you know how hard it can be to find "just plain vitamins", as opposed to vitamins for men over 53 or menopausal women or left-handed couch potatoes or... but I digress.) I've been noticing that the level in the jar is going down more quickly than I would expect, and his perception is the same. After the exchange of "I take one a day; how many do you take?", we were left stumped. Even if the cats could reach the medicine cabinet the lack of opposable thumbs would hinder them in opening the jar. It's hard to believe that somebody is breaking into the house daily just to steal vitamins out of the jar. (If someone is and you're reading this: hey, I'll just buy you your own jar, ok?) Perhaps we have gremlins. So, a mystery.

Household mystery #2: this year more than in the past, Baldur has been shedding prolifically -- not just in the spring, but all summer too. I think he sheds enough hair to make another cat about every week. I have no idea how he manufactures it at that rate. I speculate that he has opened a private worm-hole to the planet of the cat hair and that this year he got an upgraded baud rate.

Theory: these observations are related. Vitamins support growth, after all. Cat hair goes in one direction; vitamins go in the other direction. I don't know if the gremlins are giving Baldur vitamins (and there is no worm-hole) or if they're sending them through to the planet of the cat hair, but clearly our vitamins are causing an explosion of cat hair.

I liked it better before they were messing with us. :-)