I may come across as incoherent or inappropriate in part, because I am:
* from a country which is not culturally congruent * neurodiverse * unconnected with StackExchange
First of all, are you doing Ok? I am struck by the weird/unfairness of the situation you find yourself in, and for no obvious reason, sympathetic. I hope your holiday break has allowed you to connect with some sources of strength and equanimity. Something tells me you have these. I admire your self-control, as I would expect you to be angry or hurt. If you do, make sure these feelings get listened to somewhere.
Second, most parties speaking on the SE matter seem to be orbiting a vacant point in social space and this intrigues me. I will disregard the matters of contention, because I perceive something more interesting going on. The substrate to the grievances (of both ‘sides’) appears to be failing assumptions about the nature of the working relationship. Can I suggest that the role of volunteer moderator is insufficiently defined in the relational dimension? The social contract you imagined you signed up to is being forgotten or repudiated, possibly ‘because they can’.
SE corporate and the mods each seem to believe the other party needs them more than they need the other party. This is evident from rhetoric and actions. SE corporate seem to be performing a capitalist-autocratic script, with only tokenistic inclusion of visitor and moderator concerns. If they cannot be induced to relate outside that bubble, the relationship isn’t just damaged, it doesn’t exist.
I observe in both David and Sarah’s communication a disconnect between _discussion_ of issues and the (absence of) acknowledgment of the emotions and individuals affected by the issues, i.e. full empathy. Can’t or won’t - doesn’t matter. Resolution in any meaningful sense will not be possible - this is basic emotional intelligence that’s missing.
Finally, AFAICT you are a talented person with broad interests, and many opportunities ahead of you. Respect your potential and choose your own path - you will find a meaningful life again.
I’m trying to be optimistic with these thoughts, but I apologise if I have brought any sadness.
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Peace and clarity
Date: 2019-10-11 12:33 pm (UTC)I may come across as incoherent or inappropriate in part, because I am:
* from a country which is not culturally congruent
* neurodiverse
* unconnected with StackExchange
First of all, are you doing Ok?
I am struck by the weird/unfairness of the situation you find yourself in, and for no obvious reason, sympathetic.
I hope your holiday break has allowed you to connect with some sources of strength and equanimity. Something tells me you have these.
I admire your self-control, as I would expect you to be angry or hurt. If you do, make sure these feelings get listened to somewhere.
Second, most parties speaking on the SE matter seem to be orbiting a vacant point in social space and this intrigues me. I will disregard the matters of contention, because I perceive something more interesting going on. The substrate to the grievances (of both ‘sides’) appears to be failing assumptions about the nature of the working relationship. Can I suggest that the role of volunteer moderator is insufficiently defined in the relational dimension?
The social contract you imagined you signed up to is being forgotten or repudiated, possibly ‘because they can’.
SE corporate and the mods each seem to believe the other party needs them more than they need the other party. This is evident from rhetoric and actions. SE corporate seem to be performing a capitalist-autocratic script, with only tokenistic inclusion of visitor and moderator concerns. If they cannot be induced to relate outside that bubble, the relationship isn’t just damaged, it doesn’t exist.
I observe in both David and Sarah’s communication a disconnect between _discussion_ of issues and the (absence of) acknowledgment of the emotions and individuals affected by the issues, i.e. full empathy. Can’t or won’t - doesn’t matter. Resolution in any meaningful sense will not be possible - this is basic emotional intelligence that’s missing.
Finally, AFAICT you are a talented person with broad interests, and many opportunities ahead of you. Respect your potential and choose your own path - you will find a meaningful life again.
I’m trying to be optimistic with these thoughts, but I apologise if I have brought any sadness.
Peace,
Ian