and after, there is tech support

[cellio]

My mother is not computer-savvy, and when she's ready I'll help her sort out my father's computer stuff and (I hope) break into his account so we can sort out whatever household stuff he was managing online (like bill payments). She has "an old password" written down; here's hoping that helps.

She mentioned, in passing, that she'll contact their cell carrier to drop his line -- no sense continuing to pay for a second phone, after all.

Do I need to prevent her from doing that until we determine whether he was using 2FA for anything? I haven't figured out the right search queries that will cut through what you should do in advance lest you lose your phone. Like, I don't know where or if he was using 2FA, so I can't just go in and set alternate recovery addresses or something. The point is to be able to get into those accounts later, when my mom is ready. Does she need to keep paying for cell service so that phone number will be able to receive texts, or is there some other way to handle that? Should I go with her when she visits the cell provider (yes she was going to go to a store and do that in person)?

Anybody among my readers navigated this before?

Comments

[madfilkentist]

That sounds like a mess. Do you know Ellen in Arlington, MA? She's been immersed for months in resolving her parents' estate and may have some ideas from experience that would help.

A common backup to 2FA is a series of one-time codes you can use. If and when you have access to his files, you might look for anything like that.

It may be wise to keep the phone number, but can you reassign it to a lower-priced service that lets you receive SMS messages?

I know it's rough, and I'm not sure how to give tech advice while still sounding sympathetic. Rest assured I am anyway.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with madfilkentist on this.

You absolutely want to keep the phone number until everything is sorted. Consider this non-negotiable, and find a way to make it work.

You probably want to keep a small data allowance tied to that phone number.

You definitely don't need a high-end tier service!

Not knowing what kind of cell service your dad had, it's hard to give specific recommendations beyond that.

Most likely the provider's cheapest tier will do eminently. Maybe you can even convert that cell service to a prepaid SIM card?

Just as long as you keep the phone number active!

SMS 2FA is a reasonable thing to expect to run into. Yes, you probably can work around it, but it's much easier if you can keep the number. TOTP 2FA (the six-digit 30-seconds codes and "use our Authenticator App to scan this QR code to set up 2FA") doesn't rely on the phone number, just the shared secrets, but that's less likely for someone not computer-savvy.

/The Internet Dog

[richardf8]

When my MiL passed, we were handed a cell phone that didn't even have a password on it, which was great, because we were picking up the pieces of a life we new little about.

My thoughts is that you shouldn't even be treating this as a technical problem. If your mother is aware of what he was managing just let the each know he's dead and billing should come to her by whatever means she will find easiest.

And the best thing we did was to engage an attorney to help us navigate all that. It cost a bit, but having a "paid bailee" is well worth it.

[ellenmillion]

I'm juggling the same sorts of things. My Dad took meticulous notes about passwords. I have a spiral notebook full of them. The spiral notebook is not searchable.

[sine_nomine]

Be prepared for a bunch of hoops, including presenting a death certificate at various places. It is appalling how hard companies make such things so challenging at this most challenging of times. I would not rush into it. I also second the person who suggested hiring someone.

[cyndin]

I was reading this and thought, okay, it's no problem if she doesn't know the passwords as long as she can access his phone and/or email. Then you're talking about dropping his phone? Nooooo.... I'd give it a month or two. Not just for passwords (and you don't even have to sign up for 2FA to get codes on your phone) but because there may be people calling him who don't know he has passed or who do know and have no other way to reach the family. Most will have done so already but it could take a while.

I remember a few years ago when a friend suddenly became widowed and she was trying desperately to get into her late husband's phone. If your mom has some way to get to passwords and such, it will make these days so much easier to navigate. Just hold off. A couple extra months won't cost very much.

[cellio]

Thank you. These are useful tips. I need to find out what their phone plan is and if it has any contracted durations.

[cellio]

Thank you. My dad was tech-savvy, so he might have used an authenticator app, and if so that should be fairly easy to discover when I get access to the phone. But even with auth apps, sometimes you need 2FA. I know I deal with some services that only support SMS and not the apps. So you're right; the number needs to stay in service. I will ask my mother to not try to do anything with it yet -- don't try to change the plan (which could go awry and she might not notice), if the cost is a problem I'll pay for it, just don't touch it.

[cellio]

For bills, I assume she'll find out eventually because she'll get notices or something. But there could be other accounts that don't leave that trail. Did my dad have a PayPal account, for example? That would never generate a paper letter; it's all online. Patreon? Kickstarter? Games? Maybe not those, but maybe other things I wouldn't know to look for. Searching his email for things that look like receipts should provide clues, I hope.

[cellio]

He kept a paper password log up to date? I'm impressed.

[cellio]

Oh that's a good point -- we should look at his recent calls to see if there are people we haven't thought of who need to know. And people might call. I will tell her to not touch the phone plan and if that's a financial burden for her, I will take care of it. It's too important.

I guess I'm going to need to teach her to use email. My father spent years (nay, decades) trying to get her to learn that and she didn't think she needed it so she didn't listen. Now she needs it and this is the very worst way to have to climb that learning curve. I'm hoping I can do all the digital sleuthing for her and push that off for now.

[cellio]

Yeah, my mom said something like "they said they're sending me 8 death certificates and why do I need so many?", and I said to hang onto them and the reasons will likely become apparent. They have a financial advisor who can presumably help, after I confirm that he is a fiduciary to them and not just a broker who gets paid by commissions.

[rectangularcat]

First off, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. Big hugs. It's hard to lose a parent.

You're probably not going to be able to do any account changes before you get a death certificate. It's surprising who asks to see it and who doesn't. We've just recently gone through this process and it's a slog, very absurd at times. When we cancelled my MIL's cable, they offered us a better plan to keep her business!