Lech L'cha

Nov. 10th, 2006 12:01 am
cellio: (hubble-swirl)
Last week I had the chance to study torah with Rabbi Arthur Green and a bunch of other lay people. The week's parsha was Lech L'cha, the beginning of the Avraham story, so we studied that. More specifically, we looked at a passage from B'reishit Rabbah, a midrash collection from somewhere between the third and fifth centuries (common era).

This source tells a strange parable (a mashal). What follows is my translation, augmented by a few notes, from the Hebrew (he didn't give us English): One day [a man] crossed from place to place (that is, was travelling) and he saw a tower (birah) "on fire" (doleket). He said, this tower has no owner? [A man] peeked out and said "I am the owner". The parable ends here, without telling us why the man seems unconcerned that his tower is burning. Fortunately for us, the midrash doesn't end there. :-) It continues with a nimshal, an explication.

The traveller, the midrash says, is Avraham Avinu, who said: this world has no owner? And ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu, God, peeked out at him, saying: I am the ruler of this world. According to this midrash, God didn't reveal himself to Avraham until Avraham deduced that the world must have a creator/ruler and went looking. Avraham was a seeker; God didn't just speak to him out of the blue and say "lech l'cha" (go forth from your homeland to the land I will show you, etc).

We talked in the group about the alarming vision in the parable. The translation of doleket isn't entirely clear; Rabbi Green initially did not translate it (wanting to see what we would come up with) and then we more or less settled on "on fire" -- but he suggested that it could also mean "full of light" (think "blazing with light" in English; when you say that you usually don't mean a literal fire). "On fire" suggests brokenness in the tower; did Avraham see brokenness in the world? I suggested that seeing a tower "full of light" might inspire one to seek hospitality, a very different interpretation. (This seemed to meet with some approval.) Someone else in the group drew a connection between the birah doleket and the burning bush. Another suggested that Avraham's birah doleket could be an internal event, not a vision but a question he was "on fire" with. (Nice.)

I'm used to thinking of Lech L'cha as God choosing Avraham, but maybe Avraham chose God first. I'm told that Heschel wrote a book that explores this question, God in Search of Man. That sounds like something I should take a look at.

My own quasi "lech l'cha" experience was not nearly so clear-cut as Avraham's (which is good!); now I wonder a little whether this interpretation applies a little to myself. Not consciously, for sure, but the subconscious is a funny thing sometimes.

Food for thought.

lj bug

cellio: (shira)
I've just had one instance too many of thinking I should just write a FAQ, so here goes. If I receive additional questions I'll update this entry.

Read more... )

Shabbaton

May. 15th, 2005 08:53 pm
cellio: (star)
This weekend was my congregation's annual Shabbat retreat. I had a really good time, and I found myself focusing inward more than I have in the past. Neither of the unpleasant people who sometimes come came, which probably helped. Unfortunately, a couple of our regulars couldn't make it at the last minute due to illnesses. We had 24 people in the end, which is a good size for discussions.

I'm not going to do a detailed chronicle here, but I'll mention a few things that particularly struck me.

Read more... )

I have heard the following story before, and my rabbi told it again at the shabbaton:

A poor man in the shtetl has a dream one night that he should go to a certain bridge in Prague and dig under it to find a treaure. The man shrugs it off. The next night he has the same dream, but it feels more urgent. He'd love to have enough money to feed his family, he thinks, and mentions the dream to his wife, but following a dream is silly so he shrugs it off again. The next night the dream is even more intense, metaphorically picking him up by his shirt, shaking him, and telling him to go to Prague and dig under the bridge. The next morning, over objections from his family, he says he's going to do this and sets out.

After several days he arrives in Prague and finds the bridge from his dreams. He feels embarrassed, and there's a watchman there, so he just stands around for a while. Eventually, overcoming the awkward feeling, he begins to dig in the dirt with his hands, at which point the watchman asks what he's doing. He answers evasively and the watchman summons the police, who escort the man to jail for loitering.

The police ask him why he was digging and eventually he says "this is really silly, but I had this dream that if I came to this bridge and dug, I would find enough money to feed my family". The guard laughs at him, saying: "Ha! Just last night I had a dream that if I went to the home of some stupid Jew 50 miles west of here and dug under his stove, I'd find a treasure! You don't see me doing that, do you? Dreams are just dreams. Go on, get out of here." And he sends the man on his way. The man, of course, goes back home, digs under his stove, and finds a treasure.

Sometimes you have to travel away from your home to find something that was there all along. This Shabbat was kind of like that for me.

cellio: (mars)
1. What prompted you to seek out a new religion? I suspect you have already written on this so a pointer to what you have written before would be fine. Read more... )


2. I liked the time machine question Liam asked so, with no chance of death or injury what five events/people/things in history would you go back to witness? Read more... )


3. What music projects do you have going on this coming year? Read more... )


4. If you could have your Pennsic house made all over again, what changes would you make to it (or have Johan make to it)? Read more... )


5. You have just witnessed the murder of a loved one. You are safe and there is no danger to your life. You have the power to immediately kill the murderer or let them get away and potentially never be caught. What do you do? Read more... )

cellio: (shira)
A quick aside: one of the articles I came home with is "Music in the Synagogue: When the Chazzan 'Turned Around'", by William Sharlin (CCAR Journal, Jan 1962). It asserts that when the chazzan (cantor, prayer leader) faced the ark (and thus had his back to the congregation), prayer -- both his and the congregation's -- could be more heart-felt, private, and perhaps spontaneous. However, when the chazzan started facing the congregation, everyone got self-conscious. So how do you find seclusion for prayer in that kind of situation? He raises the question but doesn't answer it. I'm not sure I accept his premise; it sounds plausible but I haven't thought a lot about it yet. But he could be right. I certainly did notice on Friday night that I wasn't sure what to do with myself, physically, during the silent prayer at the end of the Amidah, when I was facing the congregation.

On to outreach...

The instructor stressed that "outreach" really means two things to her -- ahavat ger, welcoming the stranger, and kiruv, drawing (everyone) near. Our goal should be to build welcoming communities in general, recognizing that we have a diverse community with different needs. She also scored points with me by saying we need to not neglect the knowledgable, committed Jews in the process, or assume that everyone is a family (with kids). Data point: the NJPS survey in 2000 found that only 20% of Jewish households consisted of two parents plus kids; we (she says, and I agree) under-serve 80% of our households. (She talked about some programs that the Reform movement encourages to aid in all this; we received literature. :-)

We also received some good checklists on the theme of "is your congregation user-friendly?". Some of the points are excessive in my opinion (e.g. they suggest that your yellow-pages ad include a map), but others are things we could definitely be doing better on.

During the conversion class we looked at two texts, Avram's covenant with God and Ruth's conversion to Judaism. I noticed two interesting things here. First, with Avram God is the priority; with Ruth it seems to be more about peoplehood, with God as a side-effect. Second, Avram is given some assurances by God; Ruth is making a leap of faith with no real basis for predicting the outcome. (Will she be accepted by these people?) At least Avram had an invitation. So I guess it makes sense that Ruth rather than Avram is the model for conversion, because most of us don't receive divine invitations to do anything these days, but Avram's story makes a better source in setting priorities IMO. Yeah, we're also a people, but I think God has to come first or what's the point? (I realize this view is controversial with some.)

I found the CCAR guide on conversion to be largely familiar, which isn't surprising. :-) (The guide post-dates my conversion but had clearly been in progress for some years. My rabbi didn't follow it, but he did a lot of the same things and surely had input into the guide.) The format is clever: they have the core guidelines in the center of the page, with commentary, alternatives, and suggestions for implementation around the outside. It sort of resembles a page of talmud, which can't have been an accident.

According to the guide there are six questions a would-be convert has to answer affirmatively before being accepted. (This is a necessary, not sufficient, condition.) My rabbi used those same six but added a single word to one of them when I had to answer them; he added the word "exclusively" to "if you should be blessed with children, do you promise to raise them as Jews?". I approve of his addition. While I'm all for being as welcoming as we can to interfaith families, I have seen too much evidence that a child raised with two religions ends up with zero, and if you aren't ready to raise your hypothetical children as Jews, perhaps you need to rethink whether you'll be able to keep Judaism alive in your home in other ways.

I note in passing that the CCAR resolution on patrilineal descent -- which doesn't quite say what many people think it does -- also requires an exclusive religion for the child. I wonder how widely this one is enforced; the class on education and curriculum brought up the problems of dealing with kids who alternate between your Sunday school and the church's, or who celebrate both Christmas and Chanukah. Of course, sometimes doctrine and poltiics are at odds with each other.

quickie

Jul. 16th, 2004 05:26 pm
cellio: (shira)
Services went well. We made a few small mistakes, but overall things went well. I personally received many compliments on two things: my voice, and that I apparently exude spirituality. The latter came as a bit of a surprise; people said that watching me or just being around me helped them connect. Wow. What a compliment!

(Apparently some people also like my speaking voice. I don't -- or, at least, I don't like what I've heard on tape recordings. But that might be due to an association with an unliked relative who I sound a lot like. Shrug.)

Classes went well today. The second outreach session was about conversion and was fairly intimate (lots of people skipped it). It was neat, and I now have a copy of the CCAR guide for rabbis on this topic. Not that anyone in this program will be doing conversions, of course -- that's for rabbis -- but some people in this program might help counsel or teach would-be converts, and it's useful for that. (Well, I haven't opened it, but I suspect.) This is something I would like to be more involved with -- there's none so enthusiastic as the convert and all that. We'll see.

Time to go get ready for Shabbat. Next update sometime Sunday. (Hey, I said it was a quickie.)
cellio: (galaxy)
1. How did you get into SF fandom? Read more... )

2. What made you decide to convert to Judaism? Read more... )

3. What made you decide to keep Kosher?Read more... )

4. When you're not listening to filk, what kinds of music do you listen to?Read more... )

5. If you were stranded on a desert island with only the essentials and were told you could only have one musical instrument or device, what would that be, and why? Read more... )

cellio: (mars)
I never got the story of how you either converted or became more observant, religiously speaking (I don't recall which is your situation but have surmised that the former applies). Care to share? Read more... )

What's your earliest childhood memory? Read more... )

Imagine that you could revisit two days from your past. You can't change them, but you can reexperience them in full. Which days do you choose and why? Read more... )

What brings you joy? Read more... )

You've been elected governor of a state with a troubled economy, high unemployment, and serious budget problems. ... )

cellio: (star)
A post in a community for Jewish converts (and converts in training) raised this question: the poster has a disabled sibling and has in the past been the person who accompanies said sibling to church on Christmas. (The rest of the family is in the choir.) Is this behavior permitted, required, or forbidden of a Jew?

Much of the feedback so far weighs in on the side of "required -- family is family". Someone cited honoring one's parents (the source of the request), and a couple people mentioned protecting a life (the sibling is apparently in real danger of injury without someone there).

I, on the other hand, am leaning toward "forbidden", though "permitted" is a possibility. Definitely not "required", though.

The issue is complex. While the sibling needs a caregiver, that's a service that can be hired -- so there's no apparent need for the poster to do it personally. Of course it's important to honor one's parents (this comes up a lot in text), but the talmud also teaches that if a parent asks you to transgress the Torah, you must decline (Bava Metzia 32a). This raises the question of whether attending another religion's worship service -- on its second-holiest day, to boot -- is avodah zara, forbidden worship. Is it enough if you don't intend to worship? What if you don't participate? What if you don't listen? That is a complex question with varied answers depending on circumstances, ranging from exactly what will take place to the strength of your own Jewish education and commitment, and you really need to ask your rabbi for a personal ruling.

I think the experience of facing this issue is valuable for the conversion candidate, actually. As a member of a minority religion (that sometimes faces hostility from others), sometimes you are going to have to make choices between your religion and your family/friends/society -- things like this, or resolving Shabbat issues with your employer, or various other matters. Finding out how you will handle those choices before it's "too late" -- before you convert and acquire new obligations -- seems useful to me.

I assume that most conversion candidates face some sort of religion-vs-world-at-large test during the process, but I don't actually know.

cellio: (star)
Friday night's sermon was very good. This isn't a summary; this is a ramble inspired by it. Read more... )
cellio: (shira)
Wednesday I studied with my rabbi. Later I hope to write more about that -- in particular, the theology behind what the talmud calls "affliction of love". (Briefly, the idea that God gives you challenges because they'll make you better.) I have complicated feelings about this.

A few days ago I received email from a local gentile who's interested in converting to Judaism. (She found me via a mailing list.) She's been reading for a while but hadn't been to services and was nervous about doing that (this sounds familiar), so I invited her to join me for services and dinner.

She's a very nice person. Sounds like a seeker -- she's been thinking about this for years and isn't doing it because of a dating situation or the like. The more she learns the more it resonates for her. She got a lot out of the service, and I think she'll be back. I pointed her at other congregations in the area, too. Sounds like she really likes what she's seen of my rabbi, though; I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up with us.

Dinner was pleasant, and she and Dani also get along well. I'd like to invite her for a holiday -- maybe Sukkot, as she probably isn't ready to build her own sukkah yet. She's been to a few Pesach seders with friends, as it turns out. And if she decides to give our Shabbat morning service a try (she sounded interested, but not this week), I can also invite her back for lunch.

Yesterday there was no bar mitzvah, so we got to have a torah service and the rabbi didn't have to leave partway through study. After the service and study, some of us stuck around to discuss the new format, particularly implementation details. The plan is to do torah study first, so we can guarantee half an hour of the rabbi's time, and then do the service. The rabbi will leave partway through the service (if there's a later service for a bar mitzvah), right around the time the torah service would start. So we need minyan members to be able to complete the service, including reading torah. We have enough volunteers to get this off the ground, and I'm hoping we'll be able to get more, including supporting those who want to learn but aren't ready to just jump in.

We decided to switch in two weeks; we have someone who can learn a short torah portion in that amount of time. (We're not going to do the entire portion.) By virtue of having the foresight to bring a list of dates and torah portions, with room to add names next to them, I seem to have ended up as the person who keeps track of these things. :-) We're doing some delegation, though; the person reading torah in a given week is responsible for leading that part of the service (not just doing the reading itself) or recruiting someone, and also for assigning honors (aliya, hagbah...). That way I don't have to keep track of a bunch of different people for each week and worry about what happens on weeks when I'm not there. I call it distributed problem-solving; one of them called it "making my life easy". These are not contradictory. :-)

cellio: (moon)
Real Live Preacher (syndicated at [livejournal.com profile] preachermanfeed) wrote an interesting article, which he concluded as follows:

Ok, as long as I'm asking, could I get a letter officially confirming the existence of the God that I've given my whole life to following? Could that letter also tell me exactly where God is located? If "where" is an appropriate concept, that is.
This is the letter I'm sending him:


The God you have given your whole life to following is all around you. Not in that mystic "God is in everything" sense, but more directly. We are created b'tzeit elo[k]im, in the image of God; that can't be physical because God is not limited to a body, so what do you think that means? I think it means that there are echoes of God in people all around us. God is in the heavens (and no, we can't know "where"), but God's reflections are all around us. But you have to look and listen.

I pray to God, but it's the stranger on the street or the friend or the relative I interact with, and that is where Godly actions take place. Faith is nothing without action, after all. If I focus on the heavens alone, what good is anything I do?

Does God actually exist? Ask yourself if that really matters, if taking that as hypothesis leads you to live the kind of life you want to live. Why look for proof? Would it change anything?

When I became religious (I wasn't always) I found that something was pulling at me. I didn't know what it was, but I finally decided to hypothesize the existence of God, pray and act as if I believed it, and see what happened. I guess I'm a scientist (or perhaps an engineer) at heart. And you know what? I saw results. Not results that I could show to anyone else, mind you; that's not how it works. But results enough to convince me that there was in fact a God out there who gave a hoot about me. Pretty amazing stuff.

cellio: (star)
I talked with my rabbi tonight and he said I should just go ahead and assign the parts for the service in a couple weeks, rather than giving him a list of names like we've done in the past. That makes things easier, but I hadn't known whether he wanted anyone else doing it.

I also talked with the new cantorial intern tonight. She seems really nice and easy to work with. She asked me to fill her in on how services work when there aren't any rabbis, and I did so. I told her she should pick whatever music she wants; I'm not going to try to dictate to her. We'll have a little huddle 20 minutes before the service to make sure everyone understands cues and it'll all be good. (I warned her that while I'm not new to the congregation like she is, I am new to being worship chair and she should let me know if she sees any problems.)

The rabbis will actually be gone for two Shabbats (that one and the next). The plan had been for the worship committee to lead one and the cantorial intern to lead the other. She told me tonight that she's a little uneasy about that, being new to the congregation and never having led a full service. I told her we have people who can lead a service cold (including myself) if need be and she should think about it and let me know what parts she wants to offload. We can decide this at close to the last minute, after she's had a chance to settle in a bit more. (I've already lined up a torah reader and am working on someone to give the d'var torah, so she doesn't have to do those.)

The torah portion is coming along well. I have one verse left to work out; I got to it (after working on this for a while) tonight, saw that it started with a trope symbol I don't know how to sing, and decided that this was as good a time as any to pause. I'll come at that fresh on Shabbat, when I plan to spend a lot of time working on this. But hey, I read the previous two verses without having to consult the trope book, so I'm definitely internalizing the more common symbols. I can currently chant about half of the portion from the unpointed text, and all but one verse of the rest from the pointed text (sometimes with hesitation). It's often flowing well. I think I'm in good shape for a service that's two weeks away. My rabbi will want to hear me chant it when I see him next week, and my goal is to have it nailed by then.

This morning's mini-class (after minyan) was on tevila, aka immersion in a mikvah (ritual bath). Read more... )

bookmark

May. 25th, 2003 12:08 am
cellio: (star)
Jewish-geeky-stuff book review: After the Return.
cellio: (tulips)
The evil melding-of-church-and-state bill passed the House. Bah. Yes, it doesn't really mean anything on its face; it's just a resolution for the president to say some words to endorse religion, and he does that on his own all the time anyway. But it's still offensive coming from Congress. I don't want to live in a theocracy, even if I got to choose the theology.

I got an auto-response from my representative yesterday saying, basically, thanks for the email and expect a paper letter in several weeks. He voted for it, so I'll probably get some patronizing piece of drivel about how in these tough times we all need to unite and do God's will or some such. Sadly, an elected Democrat from Pittsburgh need not fear reprisal at the polls. (How did your rep vote?)

Speaking of government, I should really get around to ordering a copy of my birth certificate. Maybe even getting a passport, just so I'll have it. I can probably make off with my parents' copy of the former to help with the Pesach trip to Canada in a few weeks. I've never had my ID challenged at the border, but times are different now and I'm travelling with a non-citizen who was born in the middle east.

Speaking of Pesach (sort of), frozen gefilte fish is much better than the stuff that comes in jars. I'm never going back.

Speaking of religion (ok, the transitions are getting weak): For those who were interested in the "conversion reruns" journal, see [livejournal.com profile] shira_reruns. It'll get off to a slow start (I didn't write as much at the beginning), with the pace picking up in June.

Apropos of nothing (hey, I can tell when transitions are a lost cause), I had a very pleasnt lunch with a friend and past co-worker yesterday. It's way too easy to lose track of people when you no longer see them on a daily basis. He also found this journal, which intrigues me because it's not googlable. Not that I mind, of course; I was just surprised.

I've advanced another hole on my belt, and many of my pants now require a belt. Woo hoo. But Pesach is going to be bad for this, isn't it? I guess I should work on keeping matzah consumption down; being dense, it's probably even worse than pita for calorie/benefit tradeoffs.

cellio: (tulips)
The poll is here.

Do you have any big regrets?

Yes.

Oh, that's probably not the question you really wanted to ask. Ok, I can elaborate. :-)

The only time that I initiated a breakup of a romantic relationship, it played out badly and I feel that this was largely my fault. I'm not certain what specifically I could have done better, but I'm sure I could have handled it better in some way. The other person got hurt pretty badly (though he tried not to let it show), which was certainly no one's intent, and the friendship has never been the same. (It wasn't a hostile breakup; it was more of a "this isn't going to work" situation.)


Somehow you are on my read list.... do you know how you got there because I don't remember...

I don't know. As far as I know we don't know each other in real life, and we don't appear to have friends in common right now. Maybe we did and you saw me on a "friends of friends" list, or maybe you surfed randomly or via similar interests?


How far is your shul from where you are and how long does it take you to walk there?

Approximately 1 mile (less as the mole digs, but that's not an accurate measure of surface distance -- it just means don't trust maps in Pittsburgh). It takes me about 20 minutes to walk there on average. I can rush it in 15 minutes or so, but I rarely feel the need to rush on Shabbat.


Would you mind telling your conversion story (the long version)?

I don't mind. Let me try to figure out the best way to bridge the gap between the short summary and the longer version that, among things, manifested in approximately 150 pages of journal at the time. This may take a few days.

Actually, here's an oddball question (which is not, itself, an answer to your question, but more of a tangent): I could post that journal over a similar span of time in a different LJ ("reruns"?). It would take about a year altogether. (I think there's value in not just reading it all at once. I can't just post the entire thing as-is anyway, as I have to edit out people's real names and stuff like that.) Would this be at all interesting to anyone? Don't worry; I'm not using this as a way to blow off your question.

I'll also entertain more-specific questions by email, if that helps any. The hardest thing about trying to tell a big story is figuring out the parts that would be seen as interesting and significant to others.

a memory

Apr. 30th, 2002 11:01 pm
cellio: (moon)
[livejournal.com profile] tigerbright was talking about possibly going to a tikkun this year, and that made me think again about my first one. Jewish memories ahead. )
cellio: (Default)
Another member of the "friends of ruth" mailing list (converts et al) turns out to be local. We exchanged some email last spring and then I was a klutz and lost her email address. She just got back in touch this week. We've never met, so she's going to come for dinner tonight after services. This worked out well, as it turns out that her husband and daughter are out of town this weekend so she would have been spending it alone otherwise.

She does have to sit through my cantorial pretensions, but she's ok with that. At least it makes identifying each other easy; she'll find me. :-) (She was, as it turns out, at Temple Sinai last week, not that either of us knew to look for the other. Her home congregation is Rodef.)

I enjoy putting actual faces and people with email addresses. I'm looking forward to it.

Hmm, last night there was a short discussion on the topic of responsibilities of board members. (Themes included the idea that you're always a board member, even in the check-out line at Giant Eagle, and what you do reflects on the congregation, and you're the eyes and ears of the board, and stuff like that. Those in the SCA can substitute "peer" for "board member" and recognize the ideas.) In light of that, I wonder if there are any PR-type issues with a trustee of one congregation playing a minor-but-public leadership role in a different congregation. *I* don't think so (if anything I think it brings honor to my congregation, not dishonor), but I wonder if anyone else would have issues with this. We've seen already that I do not really understand the synagogue-operations mindset.
cellio: (Monica)
A discussion in Laura's journal about religion has prompted me to post the following long message in my own journal. This is a letter that I wrote in late 1999, so apply that context. It's still accurate or I wouldn't be posting it.

Read more... )

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