cellio: (star)
2018-09-16 03:03 pm

a few Rosh Hashana links

Sunday evening our associate rabbi gave a sermon (video link) on how we use words to include or exclude. Readers of this journal will recognize the talmudic tale she includes. (So will lots of other people; it's kind of famous.) It's easy for discourses on this topic to be pat bordering on dismissive of real human complexities, but this talk was more nuanced. When she posts a text copy I'll add a link, but for now all I have is a video (~20 minutes).

Monday morning our senior rabbi spoke about pachad, deep fear (video link, ~21 minutes; text). I'm not going to try to summarize it.

I chanted torah on the second day. I didn't realize it was being streamed/recorded until somebody told me on Shabbat. Since it was, I'll share video evidence for anybody who wants to know what I'm talking about when I talk about chanting torah. (That's high-holy-day trop or cantillation, which is different from how we chant on Shabbat.) I decided fairly late to do my own translation from the scroll; by default my rabbi would have read it out of the book. It's not a hard translation, but word order is different between Hebrew and English, which is why there are some brief pauses in places you might not expect just knowing the English. (Also, I never really did settle on a good English word for rakiah; I've heard several.)

cellio: (torah scroll)
2010-09-01 11:24 pm
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high holy days

First I was asked to chant torah on Yom Kippur afternoon, which I accepted. Then last week my rabbi asked me if I could also do so on the second day of Rosh Hashana, which I accepted. Then today the second rabbi (knowing all this) asked if I could also do so on the first day of Rosh Hashana. (One short aliya each, not everything.) I am pleased and flattered by the amount of trust and confidence they show in me. I had told both of them that I've done these latter two portions before and could refresh them quickly if a last-minute fill-in was needed, and they took me up on it.

(I did tell the second rabbi that I felt funny taking three before the other regular readers capable of doing this on short notice had two. He said he had other gaps to fill too.)

Two of these three should be a fairly quick refresher. It's possible, actually, that I can still do one of them cold. (pause to check) Ok, not completely, but not far off.
cellio: (shira)
2009-10-11 07:23 pm
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Simchat Torah

Simchat Torah went well for me this year. I felt more included than in past years; our rabbis are doing a better job of making it not just about kids. There was still a lot of kid stuff, but this non-parent adult did not feel as alienated as at some times in the past.

Friday night (we follow the Israeli calendar, so Friday rather than Saturday) was pretty packed, and also pretty rowdy because of a large number of kids. There wasn't a lot of actual dancing with the torah, but that's normal for my congregation and people had a good time regardless. Everyone who wanted got multiple chances at carrying either a torah scroll (adults who felt up to it), a scroll of the prophets (adults who wanted something lighter), or one of the small stuffed torah toys (kids). There was a lot of singing.

On Simchat Torah everyone who wants one gets an aliya. We do four, two at the end of D'varim and two at the beginning of B'reishit. (I don't know if that's the usual number, though those are the usual readings -- finishing and starting again being the whole point.) The way my rabbi makes sure everyone gets an aliya is to divide it up by birthdays in batches of three months. That works.

We had previously agreed that I would read (well, chant) the beginning of B'reishit. I had wondered how this would work -- if my rabbi did D'varim and then I did one aliya in B'reishit and then my rabbi did the last one, wouldn't that look a little funny? (I had offered to do as much of B'reishit as he wanted; I'm doing the whole thing next week for Shabbat.) Not to worry, though -- it turned out we had all three rabbis there, so each rabbi and I took one aliya. I really liked hearing from all three of them; one of them is very rarely on the pulpit. (His focus is education.)

My birthday was in the last batch, so after I finished reading I stayed up there for an aliya. So my rabbi handed me the other sefer torah to hold. (I don't know who was holding it before -- possibly the rabbi who was about to read.) None of the rabbis seemed interested in taking it back afterwards, so instead of going back to the congregation I (at the urging of the third rabbi) stayed up there for the conclusion of the torah service. Standing in front of the ark with all three of our rabbis felt indescribably special.

Saturday morning the crowd was smaller and mostly adults. It was also fun, with lower decibel levels. :-) I read again -- possibly a little better, as the previous night I had learned that with that scroll and that desk and a portion that (of course) starts at the top of a column, I couldn't get close enough to see well for the first several lines. (I pulled more of that torah reading out of my head than is, strictly speaking, proper.) After the service Friday night I found out where they keep a small stepstool -- ah, much better!

We have a beit midrash after services on the second Saturday of each month, and the rabbi in charge saw no reason to change that just because it's Simchat Torah. So we had a nice little study session around some midrash about the death of Moshe and his numerous appeals to God (and the angels, and the sun and the moon, and...) to get to go into the land. I'd heard some of this before but not all of it. Interesting stuff.

And thus ends the marathon of fall holidays.

cellio: (torah scroll)
2009-01-04 08:56 pm

not my best torah-reading day

Yesterday morning I read torah. It went ok, I guess, but it wasn't one of my better days. Sigh.

I read the seventh aliya of Vayigash, which is a bit long (Gen 47:11-27, about a column in the scroll). That's not the longest I've read, but it's up there. The vocabulary was mostly ok, though there were some minor variations I had to keep track of, like the rule that changes certain vowels if the word is the last one in a sentence. (No, I don't know why.) There was a higher-than-normal concentration of unusual tropes and a few cases where usual tropes came in unusual groupings. I guess it was just a little bit of a lot of things.

I realized while I was reading that I really should have broken this up for translation purposes -- chant several verses, stop and translate, chant more, and so on. If I were translating from the scroll (sometimes I do) I would have thought of that, maybe. But I didn't plan it in advance and didn't feel confident in just picking a spot on the fly. So I might have created an awkward situation for those not fluent in Hebrew. I got compliments nonetheless, but I don't feel they were earned this time.

My rabbi was there too. I don't think that had a direct effect on the torah reading, but by the end of the reading I was feeling a little flustered (made more mistakes than I should have), and that might have fed on itself a bit. So by the time I got to the d'var torah I was feeling off, and I think I probably talked too fast because I do that when I get nervous. So I need to find ways to detect and deal with that while it's happening rather than only figuring it out after the fact.

Oh, I just realized one thing I can do in that situation, and maybe if I write it down I'll remember. My usual sequence is: torah, d'var, halftarah, both because I tend to talk about the torah portion and because by the time of the haftarah someone is sitting and holding the torah scroll, and it would be a kindness not to make someone hold it through my d'var. (I have tried unsuccessfully to get people to put the dressed scroll back on the reading table so this wouldn't be an issue.) However, if something happens during the reading to throw me off, I can buy some time by doing the haftarah reading first. That's read right out of a book and (in my congregation) is in English, so that can be a chance to catch my breath.

Anyone else have tips for preventing or recovering from performance problems? (I count public speaking in the "perforamnce" bucket.)
cellio: (star)
2008-11-16 01:57 pm
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interpreting Vayeira

I chanted torah and gave the d'var torah yesterday. (I'll post the d'var separately.) I read the Akeidah, the binding of Yitzchak, which is a challenging passage.

The text itself is pretty sparse: God decides to test Avraham, telling him to offer up his son Yitzchak as a burnt offering in a land some distance away. Avraham gets up in the morning, gathers what he'll need, and heads off with Yitzchak and two servant-boys. Three days pass and then they arrive. Avraham tells the servants "wait here and we'll return". Avraham and Yitzchak head up together, and Yitzchak asks "err, dad, where's the lamb?" and Avraham dodges. Avraham builds an altar and binds Yitzchak on it, and just as he's about to slaughter his son an angel cries out "stop!". Avraham sees a ram and offers it instead. The angel then tells Avraham that he'll be rewarded through his descendants -- they'll be as numerous as the stars or as grains of sand on the shore, they'll possess the gates of their foes, and everyone will be blessed through them. Avraham then heads back to the servants (Yitzchak is not mentioned) and they leave for Be'er Sheva, where Avraham will live.

It says somewhere in the talmud that a sage who can't find 150 reasons for a beetle to be kosher is no sage at all. I don't have 150 interpretations of the Akeidah, but I can see more than one. Here's the one I brought out in my chanting:

God gives this command. Avraham reluctantly heads off to comply; God gives him three days to stew over it (either to be sure or to bail). Yitzchak questions him and, with tears in his eyes, he says "God's in charge". Once they arrive and things are set in motion, though, Avraham's approach changes: it's like pulling the big sticky bandage off your skin; you can try to do it slowly and make things worse, or you can just grit your teeth and yank. I read it as Avraham gritting his teeth and trying to get it over with, which is why the angel had to rush in (calling from heaven instead of arriving) and had to call Avraham's name twice. After a tense moment, Avraham snaps out of it and says "yes?". For the first time Avraham looks up and sees the ram, which he offers up in place of his son, while Yitzchak sits by, stunned. The angel gives his promise, Yitzchak bolts, and Avraham returns alone, knowing he can't go home to his wife now.

Last time I read it I read it differently, and presumably next time will be different too. Torah is like that.

Even though I made some mistakes and had to be corrected, I think this went pretty well and I got lots of compliments. People appreciated the effort I put into reading it interpretively. (They didn't have the text in front of them, so I gave a summary and some keywords to listen for in advance.) I'd like to be able to share that reading with interested friends, though I'm not sure how to do that usefully for folks not fluent in Hebrew. If I produced an audio file, is there an easy way to turn it into a video with "subtitles" timed to the chanting?

We had a visiting rabbi this morning. (Not known in advance and not official; this was a relative of a member of the minyan.) I noticed that she was very quietly chanting along with me. Alas, she and her family left right after the service, so I didn't get a chance to talk with her. It did strike me that, usually accidentally, the more-knowledgeable-than-most-laypeople visitors tend to show up disproportionately on my weeks. Hmm. (It's not always accidental; there was one time we were having a visiting cantor who declined the offer to chant the portion, and consensus was that I was the congregant least likely to freak.)
cellio: (torah scroll)
2008-10-05 11:20 pm
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oh, that makes it easier...

Yesterday the person in charge of this asked me if I can read torah in two weeks, which will be the Shabbat in the middle of Sukkot. All the holidays (and their intermediate days, as in this case) have special torah readings, so I asked what it was. No one present remembered. I said sure, I'd take care of it; I could look this up at home. I hoped I wasn't biting off something that would be too hard on that timescale, but figured I could roll with it, whatever it was.

I pulled it up in Trope Trainer today (forget about its cantilation features; it lets me print nice big copies to practice from!) and started to read. I fell into chanting it easily -- too easily. Err, wait a minute, I recognize that turn of phrase. Heh -- I chanted this exact passage last winter. Ok, this just got easier. :-)

The Sukkot portion is from Ki Tisa, after the incident with the golden calf when Moshe talks God into giving the people another chance and they make the second set of tablets. There's a reference to Sukkot somewhere in there, which might be why it was chosen for this holiday, but I can't help noticing the parallel between the servicable fragility of the sukkah and the fragility of our people's relationship with God at that point in time -- and, perhaps, individually since then. So maybe I'll work that idea up into a d'var torah.
cellio: (star)
2008-08-21 11:29 pm

NHC: services

The "H" in "NHC" stands for "havurah" [sic :-) ], which suggests a certain style of prayer: participatory, musical, casual. (I don't know if it's fair to equate chavurah with the Renewal movement, but there's clearly overlap.) The institute actually had a variety of services, and some of what I found surprised me.

Read more... )

cellio: (menorah)
2008-07-20 09:38 pm

services this Shabbat

Summary: Friday night ok (or good considering circumstances); Saturday morning quite good.

Read more... )

cellio: (Monica)
2008-05-20 11:39 pm

random bits

Overheard from a Diablo game: "...as long as you resurrect faster than they heal..." Um, yeah. :-)

I didn't know about the Netflix prize until [livejournal.com profile] siderea posted about it. Nifty! Improve their predictions by 10%; win a million bucks. It'll be interesting if the psychologist ends up beating the mathematicians.

I recently attended a religious service that had a lot of poetry in it. Or, at least, I assume it was poetry, but it made me wonder: surely modern (meterless, structureless) poetry is more than just doing things with white space, right? I mean, I understand a sonnet or a sestina at some level; I see the challenges that faced the author and can appreciate the artistry worked within those constraints. I have, thus far, been unable to develop such an appreciation for the choice of where to put a line break, except in the small subset of cases where that creates a change in meaning or creates an accrostic or some such. It feels, to me, sort of like composing music without concerning oneself with key, mode, or time signature. Obviously I'm missing something.

I was asked a few days ago to read a short torah portion this Shabbat. I wondered how long it would take me to learn (it's about 12 lines in the scroll). Answer, for first-order learning: 35 minutes. That was surprising. Of course, it will require daily reinforcement to keep it, but that's fine.

Note to self: I was talking with someone recently about what I look for in candiates for the laurel (the SCA's highest award for arts and sciences), and remembered that I had written about this a while back. Yup, still believe all that, almost six years later.

cellio: (menorah)
2008-05-15 02:00 pm
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upcoming torah portions

I am reading torah this Shabbat. The portion, Behar, is part of the double portion that is arguably "my" portion -- the week I acquired a Hebrew birthday we read both Behar and B'chukotai, which are sometimes doubled up and sometimes not. So to the extent that I have a designated portion, it's either Behar, B'chukotai, or the combination. This year they are not combined, and since I was semi-randomly picking a week to read anyway, I picked one of those.

Today I was asked to read the other one next Friday night. Clean sweep. :-) I'm glad to finally be at a level where my reaction to "can you read in 8 days?" is not "aiiieeeee!" but "sure". (My congregation only reads one aliyah -- the sixth, this year -- so we are usually talking about 10-30 verses, not several chapters. Both of these ones are short, so that when they're doubled up the reading is not burdensome. I can read or chant, but, honestly, the chanting is easier for me to learn.)

I won't actually start learning it until Sunday, probably -- don't want to distract myself from this week's, and there's an SCA event on Saturday. But that still gives me six days.

This grew out of something more general: I'll be helping to lead services next Friday night. So we knew I'd be involved, but we didn't actually talk about division of labor until today. (Yay! I get to lead services again!)

cellio: (moon-shadow)
2007-12-29 11:28 pm

last few days

Friday at work I completed a big merge of my project's code to the main branch in source control. (Yeah, two hours before leaving for a four-day weekend, but I'd done a lot of testing first.) I've learned some new things about Perforce (source-control system) and our build system. I have also learned that while I can do this sort of configuration management, I really, really want us to hire someone who actually wants to do this stuff on a regular basis.

This morning I was asked if I could read torah next Shabbat. ("How much?" "As long as it's a valid reading, I don't care what you do." "Ok.") This does get better with practice; I don't think I would have been able to learn a non-trivial chunk in less than a week a year ago. Cool.

Thursday we got email from our Hebrew instructor. She is, alas, sitting shiva in Israel, so she sent mail to tell us that (1) class was on anyway as originally scheduled and (2) we'd have the sub again. Only three people showed up; the sub told me that happened at the last class (three weeks ago) too (different three people; that was the night my in-laws were in town, so I missed it). The sub is good, so I hope she's not taking that personally. The bad student I previously wrote about wasn't there, so we actually covered new material. I suggested to the sub that she send email to everyone with the assignment and what we would be doing next week; with luck this will innoculate us some against "but I don't know this!" whines from people who miss classes and don't do the homework. We'll see.

I had a nice conversation with the sub on the way out of the building, and then for half an hour after that, about theology, observance, the local community, learning languages, and the like. That was pleasant. (And hey, we now have each others' email addresses...)

Today we visited with my family. They do Christmas, so Dani and I still do the gift thing with them for their sake. My parents got me two more volumes of Rashi's commentary on torah (yay!), and we got a bunch of other goodies. In a moment of "oh, you did that too? oops", both my parents and my sister got us nice tea assortments. Tonight we cleaned out the tea cupboard (I've been meaning to prune it for a while); who knew that tea had sell-by dates? (This revelation came when considering a box that neither of us remembered buying.) Mmm, new, fresh tea.

We got my sister an iPod (nano), which she was pretty excited about. She does not have a computer, but she has access to several nearby (her kids, our father, and if worse comes to worst she can come to our house, though it's farther for her). She has a long commute and no CD player in her car, so I figure she'll spend an afternoon loading a bunch of CDs onto her iPod and be good for a few months before needing to do it again. Not having a computer of her own shouldn't be a huge hardship, despite the protests of her kids. (We bought her an adapter to charge it from house current and an adapter for playing in her car.)

My father just got a laptop (Macbook), apparently prompted in part by the thought during their trip to Italy that it would have been convenient to have. (Duh; if I'd thought of it I would have lent them my iBook for that trip.) So he's now playing with Leopard, 'cause that's what came installed. He mentioned that he still has a G3 machine (predecessor to his desktop machine); I wonder if it can run iTunes. :-)

Tomorrow I'm getting together with friends to play a game of "Dogs in the Vineyard", an unusual role-playing game I previously wrote about. This should be fun!

cellio: (torah scroll)
2007-10-06 09:19 pm
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Simchat Torah

We got a huge crowd for the evening Simchat Torah service (Wednesday night). There were lots of kids; someone had organized a gathering before services where the kids could make paper flags to parade around with, and I suspect that made a difference. (We always get lots of kids, but the "lots" seemed bigger this year.)

Lots of kids means lots of noise, especially when you factor in today's trend toward permissive/oblivious parenting, and that continued through the first two aliyot of the torah reading (read by our two rabbis). As I went up to read the third and fourth aliyot (from B'reishit), I mentally braced myself for the distraction.

I should mention that the previous aliyot were read, not chanted. I began chanting -- and everyone shut up, just like that. Wow! I don't think they were just being polite to the layperson; I must conclude that it was the unexpected music that did it. I won't complain. :-)

I got compliments that night (and the next morning when I repeated it), which is not uncommon (it's polite, after all). The person who stopped me on the street to compliment me was a little unusual, and the rabbinic student who told me Shabbat evening that he was especially pleased with the way I'd chanted one phrase made me happy. It's nice to know that those little details matter to people other than me. :-) (This was, in fact, a passage I'd worked on to get the expressiveness right.)

The hakafot (dancing, or at least parading in a somewhat-perky manner) were more lively this year than in the past. We've been attracting more Israeli members (I suspect because of our Israeli rabbi); maybe that's part of it, as they bring in the enthusaism that (I'm told) characterizes this holiday there. Some of it is coming from the rabbis and cantorial soloist, for sure. I think we've got a fair number of congregants who will follow a lead to cut loose a little but won't lead, which isn't surprising.

Thursday morning during one of the hakafot I had a sefer torah that had silver crowns on it (not all of ours do), and the crowns had bells on them. So I could produce sound effects in time to the music. :-) (The scroll was too heavy for me to safely hold over my head, alas, especially as it was wound to one end. At other times I had smaller ones that I could do that with.)

Learned in passing: we are one of three (Reform?) congregations in the US that has a complete set of Nevi'im (Prophets) and Ketuvim (Writings) on scrolls. (I do not know how this came to be.) We pretty much only use these on Simchat Torah and Kol Nidrei, alas; most bar-mitzvah students want to read their haftarot with the permitted vowels, which you can't really blame them for. (While we read torah on Friday nights, we do not read haftarah then.)

cellio: (torah scroll)
2007-08-19 06:36 pm
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small torah question

In the passage I'll be reading for this coming Shabbat there is a small oddity. There is a pronoun, which must be feminine per the grammar, which is spelled "hei (chirik) vav alef" and understood to be "hi" (fem). "Hi" is correctly spelled with a yud, not a vav; "hu" (masc) is spelled "hei vav alef", so if reading without the vowels you'd normally read this "hu". Except, as I said, it's part of a phrase involving a feminine verb, so it can't be.

I've seen spelling errors before and the tikkun (reference text for torah readers) has always noted it, thus far. This time, no note. None of my chumashim have any commentary on this passage (or that part of it, anyway). I don't own the correct volume of Rashi. I asked another torah reader (experienced and fluent in Hebrew) and she shrugged and said this happens a lot and it probably doesn't mean anything.

I'm curious, though. If it is an anomoly, it happens in a particularly interesting place (i.e. I can see an interesting interpretation). But if this sort of thing is common, I don't want to read into it.

Do any of the torah readers among my readership have any thoughts on this?
cellio: (menorah)
2007-06-23 11:50 pm

Friday night's service

I led services Friday night at my synagogue. (In this congregation, for a lay person, this is a big deal.) It went really well!

Read more... )

cellio: (star)
2007-02-17 11:47 pm
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Shabbat morning

The person who was supposed to read torah this week got sick, so earlier this week the chair of the worship committee asked me if I could do at least some of it. I said sure. The fifth aliya begins with some difficult vocabulary (well, I thought it was difficult); after I concluded that I wouldn't be able to learn the whole thing in a few oherwise-busy days anyway, I chose a part out of the middle that looked easier.

Also for the sake of time, I decided to read rather than chant. But I was having trouble getting it to flow right and getting all the phrase boundaries in the right place. Friday night, on a whim, I looked at the trope. An hour later (!) I had it, and I chanted it this morning. Wish I'd thought of that a couple days ago; I might have learned more of the aliya. Oh well.

The d'var torah was kind of ad-hoc (those cycles had gone to preparing the torah portion). No written-out copy and no notes; I just spoke. (Yes, I did practice.) I knew it would be shorter, so I figured that would be ok. I thought my delivery was decent but could have been a lot better.

Here is roughly what I said (some phrasing improved in the writing): Read more... )

cellio: (menorah)
2006-07-30 02:44 pm

Shabbat with the new rabbi

We have a new associate rabbi (just ordained, from Jerusalem), and this Shabbat the senior rabbi was away so he was on his own. So much for a gradual introduction. :-)

He did a very good job with the Friday-night service. He seemed at ease on the bimah, and he spoke well during the sermon. (Not reading and mostly not from notes either; I want to learn how to do that!) I know that he feels a little uncertain about his English (not his first language), but really, he did fine. Nothing to worry about there. (Hebrew aside: he pronounces the ayin. I can't quite figure out how; more observation is needed.)

He had never been to the informal morning service, so he asked the chair of the worship committee to have someone in the group lead it and the chair asked me. (I told him to give others the chance first and he did ask a couple people, who declined. Only later did it occur to me that maybe some people are nervous about leading in front of a rabbi, as opposed to when we're on our own. I, on the other hand, am not bothered by that in the least, any more. :-) )

Read more... )

cellio: (menorah)
2006-07-15 11:33 pm

Shabbat

I'm not a rabbi, but this is the Shabbat when I played one at my synagogue. Overall, that went quite well!

Friday night )

torah study )

bar mitzvah )

All together, this was the longest torah portion I've learned (one chapter, 23 verses, one full column -- and it had the decency to actually fall out as one column, so I didn't have to roll the scroll mid-reading). I read different, overlapping parts Friday night and Saturday morning; I didn't read all that at once. I realize that to some of my readers this sounds piddly; a full parsha is generally three or four chapters (sometimes more), and readers routinely prepare that much. My congregation doesn't read the entire parsha -- never has, so far as I know. But still, this was a milestone for me.

I need to get some hair clips or something. Because I have medium-length hair and need to get fairly close to the torah scroll to read, my hair was hanging down while I read Friday night. It wasn't blocking my view, but a couple people told me that it meant they couldn't see my face. I wouldn't have thought that my face would be an interesting visual target at that point, but I guess I'm wrong. I think wearing a ponytail on the bimah would seem too casual and unprofessional, so I need to figure out something more decorative. I haven't got a hair-aesthetics gene, so this could be interesting.

I really enjoyed this stint in my rabbi's shoes, and I hope I get to do it again someday. I have high hopes that sometime this fall I will lead a Friday service when my rabbi will be there to see me.