lefkowitzga and her family invited me to their seder
Wednesday night. I'm really glad; it was a wonderful experience.
We did most of the haggadah, we sang, we had stimulating conversation,
there was excellent food... what more could one ask?
Gail, her parents, one other participant, and I had a meeting in advance
to go over the haggadah, decide what would be sung and to which melodies,
assign some roles, and so on. They were very open to doing parts I
suggested that they don't normally do, and I think people enjoyed it.
(It's important to me, but I certainly don't want to be a burden at
someone else's seder.) So we did more of Hallel than usual, and we
sang some other parts that usually just get read, and it was fun. We
used the generically-named "Haggadah for Pesach" published by the CCAR
in the 80s; I gather it's now been superseded, but this one worked well
for us. And it has the benefit of having sheet music in the back,
though not always the sheet music as we know it. :-) (They can't win:
they can do the kindness of providing the assistance, but any printed
version cannot account for the folk process.)
We had 16 adults and one child too young to ask the four questions.
The teenager present didn't want to sing them, so we sang them as
a group and he read the English. A few people brought supplemantary
articles, poems, or teachings. One person brought a nifty set of
illustrations on "Chad Gadya" from early last century, done by some
famous artist (sorry, I'm not up on my famous artists) who was a
contemporary of Chagall, if I'm not mixing up my references.
The only people I knew in advance were Gail, her parents, and (minimally)
the other person who'd been at the meeting, but due to fortunate seating
assignments that were surely intentional, I got to know some other
folks by the end (and got to know that other person from the meeting
better).
I gather that the seder ran a little longer than they're used to,
though only some of that was the extra bits we added. More was
the schmoozing, I think, and since schmoozing is a sign of a successful
gathering, why fret? We started around 6:30 and I think I left
around 11:15.
Thursday I had three guests for lunch, which was fun. (Tried for a
few more but ran into conflicts. One couple will come on the last
day of the holiday instead. I hadn't been planning for guests for
that day, but now that I have some I will invite some more.)
Menu from lunch: chicken in a tomato sauce (with oregano, garlic, pepper), roasted veggies & potatoes (white, gold, red-skinned, sweet; plus carrots and onions), roasted asparagus, fruit salad, and these semi-cookie semi-candy toffee-like things I bought on a lark (never seen 'em before) that turned out to be a huge hit. Someday I will learn to make vegetable kugel, but this wasn't the day. (I figured people might be too loaded up on matzah to want farfel or the like.)
Tuesday I had received an invitation from a neighbor and former
coworker to a second-night seder, but Thursday afternoon he called
to say that his wife had injured herself and they'd decided against
doing it. I hope she's feeling better soon. Some other time, then.
(She edits her own haggadah every year and I enjoy reading siddurim,
haggadot, and other liturgical materials. That's how I ended up with
an invitation. I assume she'll save this one for next year.)
I didn't try to find another seder for last night; I don't observe
a second day of the holiday so it's not necessary, and while I would
like to broaden my experiences (I go to other synagogues sometimes too,
just to see how other folks do it), walking around Squirrel Hill
knocking on doors really wasn't appropriate. If I'd been seder-less
on the first night, sure, but not for this. (Aside: most
people who would hold a second seder also wouldn't answer the phone
on a holiday.)
Shabbat will be quiet (no guests, no invitations). I'm leading
services tonight, and there's no bar mitzvah tomorrow so our
morning service can be leisurely.