Monica

fluff break

2021-01-14T17:35:33Z

In the midst of all the stuff in the world, I hope that some customer-support person's day was a little brighter for a moment or two:

Hi Chewy! This is Monica's cat, Orlando.

I'm delighted by all the goodies I got today -- I'm so glad I finally got her to do autoship so poor pitiful me never starves! I mean, there was that time that she made me wait hours because she had to go to the store. Humans -- what can you do?

I noticed something with today's boxes, and I wanted to ask if you can do anything to help. She'll never admit it, but my person isn't as young and strong as she used to be, plus she's short, and that humongous 40-pound box was a struggle for her to get in the house. And that delayed me getting snuggles and treats! I'm sure you can understand the dire circumstances here. She didn't have any trouble with the largish box that had two 15-pound jugs of litter in it, so I don't think it was the weight. I think it was that the other (bigger) box was so wide that she couldn't get a good grip on it to carry it up the steps, and she doesn't have powerful claws to help hold things like I do.

Is there any chance that, next time, you could use another box instead of packing so much into one giant one? Or should I sneak in one night when she's sleeping and change her autoship to be a smaller order sent more frequently? I worry a little that she's going to sprain something and that might affect her can-opening ability, which would be terrible. Ok, it also wouldn't be great if she got hurt, but -- priorities! My dining depends on her being fully operational!

As a token of my thanks, I would happily share the next mouse I catch with you -- just let me know where to send it.

Orlando

(I hope the human doesn't find out I cracked her email password.)

(14 minutes later:)

Hi there Orlando,

Thank you so much for meowing in! At this time, our warehouse has an automatic system which chooses which box your items are placed in. The only way we can 100% guarantee a certain item will be packed alone or with other certain items would be to place a separate order containing only those items. As long as every order reaches the $49 your human will still receive free shipping.

In the meantime, we wish you and your human family to stay happy and healthy. If you have any further questions, please let us know and we'd be happy to lend a paw. (And don't worry, we'll keep your email cracking skills quiet)

Best Whiskers,

(name)
Customer Service
Chewy

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well, he asked...

2020-08-28T17:43:15Z

A (newer) coworker asked if he could pick my brain about a certain part of our product. Sure, I said -- and I asked some questions to figure out what he already knows (or doesn't). We chatted a bit, and then I said "Ok, I have some homework for you -- please read X and Y before we talk".

He responded with "pop quiz next Wednesday at 3".

So I scheduled the meeting. I mean, wouldn't you? :-)

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young coworkers

2019-09-09T13:48:42Z

Last week the director of engineering sent email announcing prizes for an "improve our tests" hackathon. He labelled one prize (about finding and fixing the most bugs) as "write yourself a minivan".

Later, in response to questions, he sent a copy of the 24-year-old Dilbert strip.

Over the weekend our CTO, in response to questions, sent email explaining what a minivan was.

I'll be over here, weeping into my prune juice and yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

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patches and fixes

2019-08-21T01:28:54Z

Yesterday, a delivery person came to our office door asking if so-and-so worked here -- he had a package that omitted the company name, so he wasn't sure where to deliver it. The package did have the suite number on it, which got him to the right floor, but he helpfully pointed out that none of the doors in our building actually have numbers posted on them. Huh! He's right!

After he left, I took a post-it note and a marker, wrote "suite #" on it (with our number), and stuck it to the wall next to the door at eye height. (The door itself has a company name at eye height.) That was a patch.

Today someone else printed a sign with a nice, large font and taped it to the door under the name, taping on all four edges to increase its durability. That was a fix.

If somebody else decides to make it pretty, with a splash of color and art, that will be marketing excess. :-)

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unsolved mystery

2019-04-11T02:26:09Z

This morning I drove past a construction (orange) sign that said "be prepared to stop". The person in front of me at the time was driving somewhat erratically. There was no construction nearby (or anywhere on my route to work).

What I want to know is: how did they know?

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Google Wind

2017-03-31T22:26:09Z

What'll they think of next? Google is leveraging its cloud-based technologies in helpful new ways. Maybe they'll do Seattle next.

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interrupted!

2017-02-23T15:05:49Z

I disbelieve. How is he going to maintain connectivity while changing the battery? That takes a couple minutes (including the reboot time). He needs a whole spare phone!

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shopping is hard; let's go...

2017-02-19T21:19:57Z

Me: What do we need, that is available from Amazon, that costs $4.02?
Dani: Is this what's known as a first-world problem?
Me: Not the most egregious I've seen, but yeah.

Free shipping: modifying buyer behavior since...whenever they started that. But it works because of their enormous catalogue; you can find something to fill out an order. (For personal orders this is pretty much never a problem, but I was buying house stuff and thus using shared money.)

(This post is a minimal test of Dreamwidth's Markdown support. Let's see what happens.)

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