In some organizations I frequently hear the phrase
"children are our future", usually right after a demand
for other people to provide child-support services.
I generally perceive this as arrogance on the part
of the parent (it's almost always a parent) making
the statement, and withdraw whatever help I might have
provided. (Sometimes it's just misguided and can be
gently corrected.)
In the SCA, for example, where I hear this phrase a
lot, children aren't our future:
recruitment is. College kids are the best candidates for
"our future", if we have to choose a demographic target.
Kids who are dragged along to SCA events by their parents
won't necessarily stick around when they're old enough to
stay home on their own. On the other hand, lots of people
who see us in parks and the like get curious and turn into
active, contributing members of the organization.
Any social organization will ultimately stand or fall
based on how interesting it is to adults.
Because there's no obligation to participate, and kids
turn into adults. So while you certainly don't want to
drive away families, no social organization is
ultimately well-served by the "children over adults"
mentality. Don't place roadblocks, of course, but don't
revolve around children either.
(Aside: In the case of the SCA, the best thing we could
do would be to find ways to integrate children into
regular activities. Special children's activities, off
in a separate room somewhere, are exactly the wrong
approach. The kids are isolated from the organization
instead of becoming part of it. I'd bet those kids
are more likely to bolt when they can, too. Of course,
there's nothing wrong with parents forming a babysitting
cooperative for the younger kids, but that should really
be up to the parents, not the officers of the organization.
And, of course, children who participate in the general
activities will be expected to behave, and
some parents have trouble making that happen but refuse
to remove the kids. So I'm talking about an ideal here.)
People sometimes say "children are our future" in religious
contexts, and while it's more justified there (there is
generally more of an obligation to participate, at least), I
still don't think children's interests automatically trump
everyone else's. Balance is important, both on its own merit
and for enlightened self-interest: if you drive away the
single people and young couples before they have kids,
those kids won't become part of your congregation later.
So if children are our future, then more care
of the potential producers of said children is called for.
On a broader societal level... well of course in one sense
children are "our future", in that if no more kids
were born the race would die out in 100 years. But mere
children aren't enough; educated, functioning children
are our future. Kids that aren't cared for appropriately are
a net loss, not a net gain. And there are an awful lot of
such kids around already. One of the best things we as a
society could do would be to make birth control freely
available to all who seek it, worldwide. It's a pity the
far right doesn't see it that way; they seem to have enough
power to stomp on aid toward that end.
Within my lifetime I have seen a sharp increase in what
I call the "cult of the child". This is the attitude that
children can do no wrong, that children should be allowed
to behave badly because it's part of their "actualization"
or some such, and that society owes parents.
Parents with this attitude do a major disservice to
all parents, and if I were a well-behaved parent I'd
want to slap these folks upside the head. One
otherwise-intelligent friend even told me that
because he has kids and I don't, he's contributing to
society and I'm not. After all, he says, when I'm old
and in a nursing home I'm going to need nurses and cooks
and whatnot to take care of me, and he's producing that.
Hmpf. In addition to all the logical flaws in that
statement, the whole thing is downright arrogant.
Having kids isn't the only way to provide for one's future.
And if you aren't going to regulate their behavior,
having kids does harm to the rest of us.
I think people who want kids (and can care for them)
should have them. While I could wish for more of a
decline in the rate of growth of world population
-- I'm not excited to see another doubling in my
lifetime -- I don't agree with the folks who apparently
want everyone to stop having kids at all. That's
just silly.
But I also think that people who don't want kids should
be left in peace, not demeaned or pressed into service
or ostracized because "family-friendly" has turned into
"childless-hostile".