Monica

So I fell back to the Village Shul (Aish HaTorah), a place I'd been once before. This time, as last, I found them to be not too welcoming; this time I knew where to go in the building so the indifferent man standing at the entrance didn't hinder me, but nor did he respond to my greeting. At the kiddush (which was a standing-around affair this time, not a sit-down one), not a single person greeted me, even when I made eye contact. It can be hard for me to approach random people and start conversations; I greeted some and usually got responses but no one engaged. I don't know what (if anything) I was doing wrong; I think it was fairly obvious that I wasn't a regular, but I wasn't inappropriate in any way I could determine.

But all that said, I'm very glad I went for one reason: Tal.

Ok, I need to back up. T'filat Tal, aka the prayer for dew, is said exactly once during the year, on the morning of Pesach, in the musaf service. I had never heard it before. The Reform movement doesn't do musaf and didn't import that part into another part of the service (like is done with some other parts), and when we're in Toronto I don't always make it to Yom Tov services (but I insist on Shabbat). It's possible that I was at a Conservative service for Pesach once, and if so either they didn't do it or they didn't do anything special with it and I didn't notice.

So, this is either the first time I've encountered this prayer or the first time it registered. And it did in fact register. A resonant text (which I am unable to find online, help?), a beautiful and fitting melody (which I can't find a good version of online), and just the right amount of congregational engagement (a few words sung together at the end of each stanza) all came together into a heartfelt but not over-the-top prayer that felt entirely right to me. Wow.

And I think it needs all of those. As I said, the Reform movement doesn't do this text -- but let me predict how it would go down if we did. Because it's unfamiliar and people can't be assumed to be fluent, we would read (not sing) it, in English. Perhaps responsively, alternating stanzas. And it would fall completely flat, done that way. I'm not fluent and I'd never seen this text before either, but I listened to it in Hebrew while reading the English translation, and that worked. If I didn't need the translation then that'd be even better, but the text I read and the text I hear don't need to be the same language and that's just fine. Alas, mine seems to be a small-minority position in my movement, so I will probably not get the opportunity to experience this prayer in that setting, which makes me sad.

( some service anthropology )

Nomenclature: to me "grocery store" and "supermarket" have become pretty much synonomous. If I mean the small mom-and-pop store, that's the "corner grocery" or the "mom-and-pop grocery". Giant Eagle is a grocery store. (There is a new class of humongous stores (that are to real supermarkets as real supermarkets are to corner groceries); I don't know what these mega-supermarkets (humongo-marts?) are called yet.) None of this is true for Torontonians, though. A friend had asked us to look for "kinder eggs" (novelty candy), and when I asked if they'd have those at grocery stores I was told to go to a supermarket instead.

( seders )

We got up there a couple days before Pesach, rather than zipping in the night before (or day of) the first seder like we usually do. This gave us more options for going out for food, though we actually only went out once, and also gave us options for doing touristy stuff because it could be done on days that weren't Shabbat or Yom Tov. One of my frustrations in the past has been trying to do Shabbat/Yom Tov in a place that isn't my own and doesn't contain similarly-minded people, so this timing worked well.

( sedarim )

( touristy things )

( visits and German cars )

( bad software )

( Read more... )

Then Thursday it was off to Toronto. Fortunately, Dani was feeling much better. Crossing the border was innocuous in both directions, though the US guard looked at us funny when we said we were married. You would think that no one would be surprised by last names that don't match these days. (This was also the first time I had to show photo ID. Dani always has to show his green card, but they've never challenged me before.)

( Thursday's seder )

Talk of SARS is everywhere in Toronto, but it doesn't seem to be keeping people from going out. Friday we accompanied Debby and Tucker to a crafts show; it was smaller than last year's but well-attended. And Saturday night after Shabbat we went to see Second City (fun show), which was also well-attended. I thought our brief brush with the outskirts of Chinatown on Friday was a bad idea, but it wasn't prolonged and I think it was ok.

Saturday morning I went to Beth Tzedec (Conservative) for services. I was met at the door by a security guard who directed me to the SARS instruction sheet, which said, basically, "no kissing (not even the Torah), no handshakes, kiddush is cancelled, and don't enter this building if [list of conditions here]". We heard some horror stories from Debby (who works in a hospital) about entire congregations, workplaces, etc having to go into quarantine because of contact with one person, so I guess that makes sense, but it still surprised me a little. I mean, if I'm in the same room as someone and breathing the same air, does it really matter if I shake his hand?

( more about services )

We spent most of the time there being "on" with various family members. While visiting is preferable to being bored because everyone is off doing stuff and we can't really go anywhere, it's also wearing. I really wish there were a practical way to visit with Dani's family in smaller doses. We visit with my family several times a year, in 6-8 hour doses, which works well -- but they're local, so we can.

I also wish some of his family would come to Pittsburgh occasionally; the burden shouldn't always be on us to go there. Looking ahead, next year's seders are on Monday and Tuesday, which means there'll probably be pressure for us to come up the previous weekend. I think I'm going to lobby for driving up Monday, hitting the two seders, and leaving Wednesday. I probably won't get away with it, but I can try. (I won't give the effort four vacation days, so if we extend the trip it will be by going up Sunday.)

( random travel notes )

I learned two new euphemisms during this trip:

• "highway maintenance ahead"; yes, the sign was orange. That's putting a positive spin on construction, I'd say.
• "unprotected contact", which seems to mean being within 15 feet of someone without wearing a full-body condom. (Well, mask, gown, and gloves; they don't seem to be doing the hats and booties.)